My (35F) new friend (25F) sent an unsolicited intimate photo as a "joke" with a group of people. Now I found out she lied to everyone about me.
I (35F) recently made a two new friends at work named Sarah (25F) and Chloe (32). Sarah is going through a rough divorce and a hard time mentally. I wanted to be supportive so I invited her to hang out this past weekend. Both of our kids were with their dads, and we had a fun, friendly time.
The next day, I was driving with my 12-year-old daughter when Sarah sent me a text using the invisible ink feature. It was an unsolicited photo of her breast saying it was “for good luck." I was caught off guard, felt super uncomfortable, and didn't respond right away. Instead, I called our mutual friend Chloe to ask what was happening. Chloe acted totally innocent, claiming she knew nothing but guessed Sarah must have read into things over the weekend.
At first, I wasn't even angry. I know Sarah is going through a tough divorce and can misinterpret kindness. I am gay, but that doesn’t mean I like every woman. I’m very direct; if I was interested, I would’ve told her. Since we were platonic, I just sent Sarah a gentle text setting a firm boundary, explaining that I valued her but only wanted to be friends. Sarah agreed, but then claimed Chloe was the one who grabbed her phone and sent the photo.
So I texted Chloe back to ask, and she finally admitted the truth. A whole group of people they were hanging out with were hyping Sarah up. Chloe claimed she didn't physically send it, but admitted she told Sarah to be direct and actively showed her how to use the invisible ink feature. She also stated that the guys in the group suggested the picture to gauge my interest.
Finding out that they sat around, discussed this, and decided a tit pic was a good idea made me feel violated and gross. It felt so weird because I thought we were genuine friends. I decided to text them and be completely direct. I said: "I’m sending this because I need to be completely clear about how wrong, immature, and violating your actions were. I am a human being, not a joke or group entertainment. You turned my privacy into a game. Chloe, you told her to be direct, yet you lied to me by omission and acted like a bystander when you were an active participant. Sending me an unsolicited intimate photo is absolutely no different than a man sending an unsolicited dick pic. It is gross, violating, and even worse that a whole group of people sat around egging it on while I was in the car with my daughter next to me. I am completely disgusted. I no longer think being friends is a good idea. Wish you both the best."
Chloe texted back saying she really wants to talk because this situation is "weighing heavy" on her. I heard her out and it got worse. Apparently, Sarah made up this whole story about me pursuing a romantic interest in her. She told everyone we were touching knees and elbows and cuddling on the couch, which never happened. She even claimed I told her I wanted to see her breasts in person, which was absolutely never said. I do not have a romantic interest in her.
What concerns me the most is that Sarah told Chloe I wanted her to come over specifically to see how she interacted around my kids. Chloe stated that Sarah made it seem like I was very interested in her, and she said that was the only reason she played a part in the photo.
Edit: thank you all so much for your responses! I don’t have time to reply to all of them, but I wanted to express my gratitude. It was a really gross situation and I appreciate everyone saying how well I handled it. Boundaries are newish to me. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt to my own detriment. I’ve grown a lot over the years. I think you guys are right and I do need to talk to HR. I’ll update you when that’s happens.