u/Art3m1sArty

Maybe the wrong tag, but idk what to pick really and i am so tired.... I'll give a bit of background info, then explain the dream and why i wanna know and hope yall can help me.

Ever since i can remember, i have been sleeping terribly. Like, in intervals of half an hour, maybe an hour, for a total of 4 or 5ish hrs a night. And once every few weeks, i will collapse and sleep for an entire day to catch me up cause my body just can't take it anymore apaprently. I have gotten used to this being the way things are and i have accepted this is just my life apparently, as nobody knows what is causing it and meds don't seem to work.

I have crazy realistic nightmares on the occasions i do sleep, have had (what i used to in that state call) "half sleep" since i was a kid, where i would just sit up, eyes wide open, talk to my mom about what i am seeing and what is happening, but the world i see is just a corrupted version of what is really around me.

I have actually written down many of my nightmares throughout the years and my friends think i am a great horror short story writer. But to me, it al feels like it is really happening.

This one i am making this post because of, i have had multiple times, which is odd as i never really have had recurring dreams.

I keep having this dream and it is driving me to desperation. I hope that by identifying what Fear it would belong to, i can work through it after figuring out what causes it and hopefully won't have it happen anymore.

Basically, in this dream, i am wearing ill-fitting clothes. That's about it. I know that sounds super silly. My bra is too big, my shirt too tight, my pants simultaneously too tight and too loose in different places. My socks are too big and shoes too small. It is driving me crazy and i try to take them off, but i can't. I claw and scratch and tear at them. But they kinda just "heal" if i move or damage any fabric. They seem to stick to my skin, yet move about it uncomfortably at the same time.

I cry and scream and throw myself against the walls and floor, but the clothes are just there in all the wrong ways and places. People around me tell me i am overreacting, that they are just clothes and that i shouldn't be dramatic. That i can just put on something else if it bothers me that much. But i cannot and i also cannot seem to explain to them that i can't.

The dream in itself is pretty bad and stressful, but it tends to translate to real life aswell;

I wake up crying with tears actually streaming down my face, and while not fun, it isn't too bad or too weird for me to wake up like that.

What is driving me insane and drove me to make this post to hopefully get some insights to fix this, is that on some occasions, my scratching and pulling at the clothes has also turned irl and has at worst broken skin and left me bleeding, at best left me with thick red scratches over my arms, chest, neck, stomach and legs.

This podcast and its universe have helped me work through a lot of things and helped me see things, break them down into categories and get through them. But with this one, i find it hard to compartmentalise what it is and where it would fall in the Fears. So i am hoping you guys can help me....

Sincerely, a very tired Arty that just had the dream again....