u/ArtsyTossaway

Hello! I am a 24y/o female with fibromyalgia, migraines, and PCOS. These combined ended up leading to me using some form of over the counter pain medicine for the last 2 months or so most days of the week and I have noticed that the headaches have been coming back worse when things wear off + less effective relief

How do I cope with these headaches and migraines other than acetaminophen and ibuprofen for the next while?

I've had to do this before but I barely remember the first week of that period because I was effectively bed bound with migraines

It's weird, I find myself thinking about my long history of sexual trauma and the extreme kinks and behaviors I've been left with because of it.

Despite being pretty sure I'm on the asexual spectrum, I struggle with constant sexual thoughts and desires

I fantasize about being a victim again, or being in a mutually toxic dynamic again.

I long to put myself back in the place to be victimized because that feels natural and safe despite being so bad for me.

These actions I engage in because of them often leave me feeling dirty and disgusted in myself. I end up crying and sore from how rough I am with myself.

I don't even know if this has a point beyond typing it out anymore.

I really wish I hadn't been victimized so many times, I don't even know what is normal to feel about sex anymore.