u/Aruwan05

Salam Alaikum everyone,

I made a couple of posts before asking for advice regarding a girl I’ve known since childhood. Our families know each other, my mother likes her, and over the past months we started talking and hanging out more seriously. The vibe honestly felt very natural — lots of teasing, inside jokes, long conversations, shared music, studying together at cafés, etc. It never really felt purely platonic to me.

At one point I asked if she wanted to hang out after work, and she sent me this message:

“It’s really fun hanging out with you, but if I’m being completely honest, I don’t really believe in friendships between men and women 😂

Sooner or later it gets messy from one side or another, so let’s avoid meeting up regularly from now on 💕

We can still meet every now and then to catch up and talk about how life’s going, I like that and it usually doesn’t become a problem.”

I answered " Ah no problem, we'll try to talk and meet sometimes, But I had fun anyway ☺️"

She responded "Yeah, same here, it's really fun hanging out with you, like I said."

Now I’m honestly confused about what exactly she meant.

Part of me feels like maybe she was indirectly rejecting/friendzoning me in a polite way.

But another part of me wonders if maybe she sensed things were becoming more than friendship and wanted clarity because she does not want a “just friends” situation without serious intentions behind it.

Especially since we both come from Muslim backgrounds and I know she takes relationships seriously.

I guess my question now is:

Does this sound more like a polite rejection/friendzone?

Or does it sound more like someone setting boundaries because they are unsure of the intentions/future and do not want to blur friendship and attraction?

And if it’s the second option, how would you respectfully approach the topic of serious intentions/marriage in a calm and mature way without making things too intense too quickly?

Jazakum Allah khair.

Salam Alaikum everyone,

I posted here before asking for advice, and the responses genuinely helped a lot. I wanted to ask for some more advice because I’m still unsure how to move forward properly.

My main concern is that I’m still studying while she has already finished and is working. She’s 22 and I’m about to turn 21. I’m not fully sure what her views are regarding marriage while I’m still in school and not financially stable yet.

I’ve read the FAQ and understand that situations like this can be difficult, but ideally I would want us to either figure out whether we seriously see a future together, or at least have some kind of understanding/engagement until I’m able to provide properly. I still have around 3 years left of studies.

Right now, I mainly need advice on how to approach the topic of marriage with:

1. My own family My mother knows about the girl and approves of her, but she thinks it’s too early and wants me to fully finish my degree first before thinking about marriage seriously.

My father thinks I should at least wait until next year when I can start an internship and earn a little income, which honestly I partly agree with as well.

1. The girl herself I’ve never really had the confidence to openly talk about marriage before, so I honestly don’t know how to bring it up naturally or at the right time. I’m also not completely sure how she feels about me yet.

I’m not really afraid of rejection — I’d rather just be honest and straightforward than stay confused for years — but I genuinely don’t know how to approach the conversation in a respectful and calm way without making things awkward or too intense.

1. Her family in the future If my family agrees and she also feels the same way, how do I respectfully approach her family afterward? Especially considering I’m still a student and not fully financially stable yet. I want to do things properly and respectfully, but I’m unsure what the right order and timing should be.

Any advice would really help.

Jazakum Allah khair.

Salam Alaikum everyone,

I posted here before asking for advice, and the responses genuinely helped a lot. I wanted to ask for some more advice because I’m still unsure how to move forward properly.

My main concern is that I’m still studying while she has already finished and is working. She’s 22 and I’m about to turn 21. I’m not fully sure what her views are regarding marriage while I’m still in school and not financially stable yet.

I’ve read the FAQ and understand that situations like this can be difficult, but ideally I would want us to either figure out whether we seriously see a future together, or at least have some kind of understanding/engagement until I’m able to provide properly. I still have around 3 years left of studies.

Right now, I mainly need advice on how to approach the topic of marriage with:

1. My own family My mother knows about the girl and approves of her, but she thinks it’s too early and wants me to fully finish my degree first before thinking about marriage seriously.

My father thinks I should at least wait until next year when I can start an internship and earn a little income, which honestly I partly agree with as well.

1. The girl herself I’ve never really had the confidence to openly talk about marriage before, so I honestly don’t know how to bring it up naturally or at the right time. I’m also not completely sure how she feels about me yet.

I’m not really afraid of rejection — I’d rather just be honest and straightforward than stay confused for years — but I genuinely don’t know how to approach the conversation in a respectful and calm way without making things awkward or too intense.

1. Her family in the future If my family agrees and she also feels the same way, how do I respectfully approach her family afterward? Especially considering I’m still a student and not fully financially stable yet. I want to do things properly and respectfully, but I’m unsure what the right order and timing should be.

Any advice would really help.

Jazakum Allah khair.