u/AsgeirTheViking

Hi! I'm at my current position for like 5 years. My boss decided I need to do hard manual labor because "hiring people is way too expensive". So I'm doing my part - using forklifts, my hands, etc. to bring down and up broken boxes. I'm doing this for like 4 months by now. Because this is my side job given by my boss, I decided to do some of my own things after I bring all these boxes up. Then, all of sudden my colleague who mostly does paperwork jumps in and screams "you lazy fuck, do what you're assigned to, you earn 100 eur more than me, so do your job even harder and stop playing games all day". The thing is that i don't play games during my job and i'm basically doing 3 jobs at the same time. I tried to talk why she attacked me, and she said "welp, i'm tired but you're a man, and men must lift." When I explained all my duties, she said "i couldn't care less, remember, you're still a man" For the next few days i learned that i'm somehow abusive, playing video games and even that i send "unimaginably large emails of tasks". My boss told me she can't do anything, as "why do you even care. I don't so you shouldn't too". This is draining me mentally, especially the constant talks about reducing my salary, which is borderline minimum wage.

P.s. sorry for my bad english. It's not my native language, and also i don't speak to people that much.

I'm in a really difficult situation at work right now, and it's starting to seriously affect my mental wellbeing.

I've been working in this office for several years, but lately I increasingly feel like I'm being singled out or treated differently by one particular colleague. She's an older woman who, despite being very friendly with most of the team, rarely even says "hi" to me. At the same time, she constantly overwhelms me with personal information about her children, her medical diagnoses, and her plans after work. She has even called me during my vacation simply to tell me that she's bored at work. I've tried to be understanding because I assumed she might just be lonely and looking for someone to talk to, but her behaviour towards me has crossed the line from being annoying into something that feels genuinely inappropriate.

There have been several incidents that have made me increasingly uncomfortable.

One day I was having a brief work-related conversation with another colleague whom I rarely see because she mostly works remotely. Suddenly, this older colleague interrupted us and asked, "Do you have any problems?" When I said no and asked why, she replied that I was "disrupting" my colleague, told me to get back to work, and said I should respect boundaries. The situation was especially strange because our conversation wasn't inappropriate or personal—we were simply talking normally.

On another occasion, she told me that I was "way too short for a male" and asked whether I was disabled. I found that deeply insulting and completely unrelated to the workplace.

There was also an incident where she became angry because I refused to show her what I was doing on my computer. I explained that I had sensitive information open and wasn't allowed to share it, yet she still acted as if I was being disrespectful.

The final straw happened when she physically grabbed my hand and forcefully told me that I needed to respect her more and that I should "do things the old way." That physical contact was unwanted and made me feel genuinely unsafe and humiliated.

What makes this situation even harder is that she's consistently praised within the office and is often chosen as Employee of the Month. When I've raised concerns, my boss tends to dismiss her behaviour by saying, "She's just an old lady," or that she's simply joking around. But from my perspective, repeated insults about my body, inappropriate comments about disability, controlling behaviour, unwanted physical contact, and interfering with my interactions with colleagues are not harmless jokes.

I'm not looking to create drama or get anyone into trouble unfairly. I've tried to stay patient and professional for a long time. However, this pattern of behaviour is becoming emotionally exhausting, and I feel increasingly anxious about going to work. I'm starting to question whether I'm overreacting, even though these incidents keep happening repeatedly.

I genuinely don't know what the appropriate next step is, but I know that my mental health is getting worse because of this environment, and I don't think this should simply be dismissed as someone being "funny" or "old-fashioned."

Before someone thinks ill of me, I've managed to somehow stop another workplace bully who called me a "piece of shit" for just asking a question. So I'm not completely toothless, but still, I think my mental health is declining.