Father’s hypocrisy of wanting me to send them money
This is my first time making a post like this, and I want to thank you for taking the time to read it.
A bit of background: I am a 27-year-old woman working as a digital artist. I moved to the West alone as an international student when I was 15. I started in high school, went through university, and eventually landed a job in my field. I feel lucky to do what I love for a living. This is now my 12th year in this country (for privacy, I’ll keep the location anonymous). In all this time, my parents have not visited once.
Part of me understands that life isn't easy. We aren't from a wealthy family, and they worked very hard so I could be here. The economy hasn't been great, either. My father is in his early 50s; he was let go from a high-paying job and now refuses to settle for anything less. I also have a younger brother with a 12-year age gap - I left when he was around one year old. My mom has never had a high-paying career, but she works incredibly hard. I have tremendous respect for her and how she balances family while trying to maintain a job.
However, since I started working, my relationship with my dad has soured.
Off and on, he makes comments about how he never buys anything for himself and never enjoys life because he wants us to have a better one. He asks why I don't "offer" to give my mom money every month so she can stop working so hard. He claims he doesn't "expect" money from me, but then asks why I don't volunteer it. We chat less and less because every conversation turns into why I’m not sending money I should do it monthly so mom can stop working. That said I do send her money time to times on her birthday whenever she says she is not feeling well. Or special occasions I don’t make a lot and it’s extremely expensive to live in this country. With the current economic and unstable job market. Life isn’t particularly easy for me.
Yesterday, after nearly a month of no contact I msged them ask why no one ever check up on me. In the beginning we were fine but the conversation quickly went sour again. I know deep down we are both bitter toward each other. I can't stand the hypocrisy; he always talks about money, but when I point it out, he turns it around and blames me for "always thinking they only want money."
He once said I’m his investment idk how much truth that contains…. I want to believe he loves me just don’t know how to express it.
I’m just sad that we don’t have a good relationship anymore. As I grow older, I really see the difference in us. The environment we live in shapes who we are. I can’t even share my day-to-day life with him anymore. If I say, "Hey, look, I made roast lamb," he responds sometimes with Oh nice, you're eating well - we can't even afford that." I’m not here to see look he is mean. I love him and I can see he is stuck in the old mindset but I can’t do anything about it.
Anyway, that’s the end of my rant. Thanks for reading.