u/AshamedOffice3109

I'm probably not alone in feeling like because I was the youngest, the black sheep and on the spectrum, whatever I had going on mattered the least, or not at all.

Sure every parent has been harsh to some degree on their children regarding things they wanted but surely the line stops before passions, career choices and hobbies.

I still get angry at how little I respected myself after internalzing that I didn't matter for roughly 25 years and some.

Anything you guys want to say on the matter or share how this resonates with you, let's help eachother feel less lonely.

As of June 30th I've gone no contact with my parents. For years they've been avoiding accountability for the impact of their actions. I grew tired of waiting for something that wouldn't happen.

I know I'm vague, I just don't feel like getting into details, even if it may mirror or resonate with others here.

I definetely feel better as I don't feel like I owe them and have been able to actually look forward to a future I once dreaded since I always wondered "how are they gonna fit in there?"

People who know me have pretty much all told me the same thing "I won't pretend to know what you're going through but it's for the best". I know they're right. Only it feels off knowing my parents never understand or approve.

I didn't wanna end up going no contact, but maintaining it with their stonewalling and gaslighting was taking too big a toll on me.

I'm figuring out who it is I am and what business to stand on, but it still feels off even though it's the most peaceful I've ever been.

As of June 30th I've gone no contact with my parents. For years they've been avoiding accountability for the impact of their actions. I grew tired of waiting for something that wouldn't happen.

I know I'm vague, I just don't feel like getting into details, even if it may mirror or resonate with others here.

I definetely feel better as I don't feel like I owe them and have been able to actually look forward to a future I once dreaded since I always wondered "how are they gonna fit in there?"

People who know me have pretty much all told me the same thing "I won't pretend to know what you're going through but it's for the best". I know they're right. Only it feels off knowing my parents never understand or approve.

I didn't wanna end up going no contact, but maintaining it with their stonewalling and gaslighting was taking too big a toll on me.

I'm figuring out who it is I am and what business to stand on, but it still feels off even though it's the most peaceful I've ever been.

Hey guys!

I've been wanting to post for a while, already did with a specific childhood memory I couldn't quite register as trauma and got support from sharing it, thank you.

I feel safe enough here to share more but the history of abuse is so extensive and multi-layered it becomes overwhelming to try to write it down.

I hope I'm not alone feeling as such. That's why I can't journal, it's too much.

The flashbacks are unbearable, the people I tell end up hating me over it and think I choose to feel as such, therapy is unafordable and for as long as I can remember I have not been made to count as a person, therefore making me disposable.

How do you guys handle it when it's just too often all too much?

As a Kid, I struggled to learn english properly (that was in Québec) and we had this assignement for english class to watch 15 minutes of any appropriate english tv program.

One of the shows I kept circling back to was Cyberchase. I don't remember much from the show but liked that I could see kids like me do cool gadget things in space.

At some point I was watching it for fun, I thought my parents would approve given that I was in that show's targeted demographic (7 to 13) and that it would be a good way to do something they always wanted me to do : learn english.

Then upon seeing a few minutes of it, they said it didn't make sense and that it was ridiculous. They had similar reactions when I wanted to watch shows for an older audience (the simpsons, family guy, south park) and since cyberchase was nothing like that, I didn't understand it.

They shut the tv off and refused to let me find it again (I didn't remember the channel by heart at that age), to the point where my Dad gave me a death stare. So I caved and never tried to watch the show again.

Now that I'm older, I understand that it didn't make sense but I also can't bring myself to watch the show in order to find out what was so wrong about it.

Anyone here with similar experiences or knowledge of the show itself?

As a Kid, I struggled to learn english properly (that was in Québec) and we had this assignement for english class to watch 15 minutes of any appropriate english tv program.

One of the shows I kept circling back to was Cyberchase. I don't remember much from the show but liked that I could see kids like me do cool gadget things in space.

At some point I was watching it for fun, I thought my parents would approve given that I was in that show's targeted demographic (7 to 13) and that it would be a good way to do something they always wanted me to do : learn english.

Then upon seeing a few minutes of it, they said it didn't make sense and that it was ridiculous. They had similar reactions when I wanted to watch shows for an older audience (the simpsons, family guy, south park) and since cyberchase was nothing like that, I didn't understand it.

They shut the tv off and refused to let me find it again (I didn't remember the channel by heart at that age), to the point where my Dad gave me a death stare. So I caved and never tried to watch the show again.

Now that I'm older, I understand that it didn't make sense but I also can't bring myself to watch the show in order to find out what was so wrong about it.

Anyone here with similar experiences or knowledge of the show itself?