AIO That almost none of my fiance's family are attending our wedding
My fiance (27M) and I (25F) are getting married this October. We are both obviously very excited but I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that almost none of my fiance's family are going to attend. So far pretty much everyone from his family that we invited have declined except for his parents and grandparents.
His siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. All RSVP'd "no". I know he is hurt by this and I feel this intense urge to contact some of them and ask them why they are not attending but he has told me repeatedly not to do that.
My fiance is the youngest of his siblings by a few years. All of his siblings live kind of far from where we are getting married so I get travel is an inconvenience but it's not like we're having a destination wedding, we're just getting married close to where we live. I understand his siblings have kids and jobs and lives too but this is their brother's wedding!
I will admit that we are planning on having a somewhat non-traditional wedding. Neither my fiance nor I drink so we are not serving alcohol. We don't want to be paying extra hundreds or more for alcohol that we won't drink. The wedding will also be child-free because both of us have been to weddings with kids running around crazy all day and neither of us want that. Also, our wedding is being held at an organic farm so we are having an all-vegan menu for the food. I understand those things are not everyone's cup of tea but it's who we are and we want our wedding to be a reflection of who we are as a couple to really celebrate us on that day.
We've heard through my fiance's parents that his siblings are using their kids and their school schedules as an excuse as to why they can't attend. But if their kids can't attend the wedding anyway what does their school schedule even matter? It makes no sense to me. I have this sense of dread that when the ceremony starts my side of the aisle will be filled and my fiance's will have like 4 people and I'm worried he'll feel humiliated and embarrassed.
Since my fiance and I have been together we've attended 2 of his older siblings weddings. My fiance was in the wedding party for both of them. We aren't doing traditional wedding parties, just my best friend and my fiance's best friend as maid-of-honor and best-man. We traveled for both of those weddings too, although his parents did help us out with some travel expenses to make it easier on us.
I just don't understand how they can be so unsupportive when we've always made an effort to be there for them on their big days and now ours is coming up and they're all just ok skipping it. None of it sits right with me and I'm trying really hard not to take it personally or to call them out on it.
My fiance tries to play it off like everything is ok but I know it bothers him and I'm worried that it will only get worse as we get closer and that the actual wedding day will be a tipping point for him when he actually sees how many people didn't show up for him. His family is normally very close and supportive so this is really out of character for them and I just don't understand it.