u/Asia_Persuasia

Mine is when I get followed by loss prevention in plain clothes/secret shopper asset protection in supermarkets, I say to them "Hey, since you're on the clock and following me around anyway, can you help me find [insert item/product]?"

I get mixed reactions, but the most satisfying one is when they quickly walk away. I get so much pleasure out of them knowing they aren't stealthy nor are they being inconspicuous, and it would also be nice if they would piss off because not all "Black people steal" like they love to assume. If you're going to stalk me around the store, make yourself useful b•tch.

What are some products that you would have never thought to try, that ended up working extremely well for you or being your go-to?

For me, it's "Head & Shoulders: Old Spice 2-in-1 Men" shampoo. I always saw Head & Shoulders marketed towards White people (specifically White men) and have only ever seen White men use it...so assumed it was not suitable for Black/Afro hair, let alone a woman's hair.

One day I left my shampoo at home while out-of-town, and had to resort to using a bottle of Head & Shoulder's that was there. I fully expected my hair to be tangled after, but I don't play about shampooing once a week so I was going to just take it on the chin and detangle afterwards (I usually like to detangle during the shampoo process first). Tell me why I could detangle with that mess, and it left my hair silk and moisturised before conditioning. It was to the point where conditioner was optional. My hair was also so clean, and the shampoo is medicated, so it's good for your scalp.

I like to think of myself as a "shampoo connoisseur" and have tried dozens, and it was by far one of the top three shampoos I've ever used.

I would've never thought in a million years...

#Making this post because this is for the well-being of Black women. It will be long, so I will provide a TL;DR at the bottom and in the comments. This is all my personal opinion which I have the right to. DO NOT SEND THE PERSON MENTIONED BELOW ANY HATE, BULLYING, OR HARASSMENT:

As Black women, we are (almost) all aware of what "pandering" is (because it happens to us constantly. In most cases, we've seen it be done by Black male public figures or celebrities and it's been rightfully called out). Something that I'm now starting to notice more frequently that's oddly been getting a "pass" is non-Black males pandering to Black women online in places like Instagram and etcetera.

A prime example that I've noticed the most recently, is an online personality/sex worker by the name of "Robert Hughes", and unfortunately many middle-aged Black women have fallen for him. They have been giving this man money and sending him gifts— I have a problem with this because (in my opinion) he's a Grifter, a panderer, and a disingenuous user/loser. Let me start listening the red flags:

-This man grew up in a predominantly White space. He had a privileged middle-class upbringing. He was/really is a preppy White man from VA that went to a PWI.

-He got one haircut from a Black barber last year and changed his entire personality. That's it. That was the catalyst.

-He started hopping on that cringe "Gingers are basically Black" train that happened last year. This was another catalyst that pushed him into this weird persona he has now, he took it way too seriously. Both this point and the latter were suspiciously around the time him and his partner separated, in his words because "she wouldn't let me be who I wanted" and "she tried to change me". [Sir, I'm pretty sure she saw you suddenly trying to act Black and asked you to stop, which you didn't want to because you saw an opportunity to grift]

-He started acting "urban", dressing "urban", and personifying everything he thinks Black culture is...all in the span of ten months right after he got the haircut from the Black barber and got validation from somebody. Now he acts like the lead character in "Malibu's Most Wanted".

-He had predominantly White partners his entire life. Ones he got the haircut and shape-shifted, he started fetishising Black women.

-He tries to act older than he is to seem mature, but he's a 28-year old unemployed pothead that mooches off of older Black women who send him my money and gifts. He is now an OnlyFans creator. I personally just consider him a gigolo.

-He constantly baits Black women with seductive and provocative posts, but then makes it clear that he doesn't actually want relationships— Meaning he's just been using Black women for sex and appearances, and will definitely end up marrying a White woman when his LARPing is done.

-He's just another colourist. He makes it clear over and over again that he's into "brown-skinned" or lighter women. We don't need another colourist trying to force their way into our community, we already have enough of those...

-Because he's a Vanilla Ice-wannabe and a poser, whenever he films himself around non-Black people, his real, preppy and proper accent comes out...once he's back in predominantly Black spaces or making a video directed towards Black women, he starts speaking in AAVE and Ebonics again.

-The guy clearly has self-esteem issues and is just using us a a quick "feel-good". There was nothing wrong with him before...literally nothing. Unfortunately he didn't think so and has dedicated his entire life into forcing himself to look "exotic". He's obsessed with himself appearance-wise to the point where it's off-putting and cringey. The constant preening and bodychecks and finding the perfect angles/showing off his tattoos. Like mf, "We get it..."

-He constantly labels and refers to himself as a "Passport Bro"...I don't need to even continue elaborating on the many issues with that.

-He is now trying to move to a predominantly-Black city (Houston) aftering going to that "Houston Spring Break and Rodeo" event earlier this year; Let me remind you that he most likely only went there to look for Black women to have sex with, and that is most likely his intentions for moving there.

Now, I've been analysing this dude for a while because I was onto his scheme from the very beginning. His comment sections are actually concerning. So many older Black women (40's & 50's) who can't see this man for what he is, and too many younger Black women who are just infatuated with his newfound appearance and personality that don't realise they are being used and pandered to.

I am going to need for us to be smarter and use discernment with EVERYBODY. I DONT CARE WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. Pandering is pandering, regardless of who's doing it. If a man just changed his personality and appearance last year to start "acting Black" (idc what anybody tries to say, yes, that is "a thing"), chances are he's a panderer. If a man has never touched Black women in his life, but is noticing he gets attention, validation, and monetary items from us,bso he temporarily switches over while making it clear he doesn't want a relationship with any of us, chances are he's a panderer. If a man factory resets when he's around people of his background, then updates back to the personality he uses around you, chances are he's a panderer.

👏🏾Think 👏🏾please. Stepping off of the soapbox.

#TL;DR: DO NOT SEND THE PERSON MENTIONED HERE ANY HATE, BULLYING, OR HARASSMENT— Black women of all ages are falling for a panderer online by the name of "Robert Hughes", specifically sending him money, gifts, and feeding his online engagement. Too many Black women miss the mark when confronted with a panderer from outside of the community in general. We need to use better discernment and pay attention to the signs so we aren't "easy marks" to bad-faith actors. Stop supporting people like this, stop fawning and obsessing over them: This is a job for them, they are using you, it's an illusion. It's not genuine, and when the grift gets tiring for them, boring, or isn't as lucrative (not earning or getting as much), they will drop the act and you.