Does anyone else see resemblance in certain personality traits their MIL has in their husband? And it’s a huge turn off?
Living with my MIL gave me a lot of “oh… THAT’S where that comes from” moments with my husband. And honestly, now when I see certain traits come out in him, it gives me the biggest ick.
For example, my MIL is one of the most emotionally unintelligent and socially unaware people I’ve ever met. The other day, my husband made a joke that upset his friend. His friend clearly didn’t like it, but my husband struggled to understand why because “they joke like that all the time.” He can eventually see the issue, but he tends to think intention matters more than impact. That mindset is very much my MIL. complete inability to read the room, just to an even greater extreme.
Another example: I was showing my husband photos from our pregnancy shoot that we finally got edited/printed a year later. He barely reacted. No excitement, no emotion. And it clicked for me because my MIL is exactly the same way. When our son was born, during our wedding, even when she first met me — stone cold expression every time. I genuinely don’t know if I’ve ever seen her express joy. I’ve seen him excited and joyful plenty, but sometimes he’s hard to move.
I know my MIL was emotionally neglectful when my husband was growing up, and he’s still unpacking/healing from that, so I do have empathy for him. I shake it off. There’s many wonderful more traits of him I like that opposes her. But living with her and seeing the source of some of these behaviors in real time has been… eye-opening.