u/AssignmentThen9237

for context, this year was supposed to be my second year of ccny. for my first year i struggled terribly with mental health problems and worked too much to manage my school life. after that, i did a semester online where i continued to struggle. my dog got sick and i had to take care of her, and work to pay her medical bills off. i failed both semesters and was put on academic hold. i took a semester off hoping things would get better and they did for a bit. i met with the counselor and she said i could only take one class, english 110, and i HAD to pass. I had to pay for this out of pocket because i lost my fafsa so i had to work a lot. my mom has cancer now and i have to do most of the housework when i am not working or in school. i am failing again and i don't know what to do. i don't want to drop out.

i really want to stop being jealous but i don't understand the root of the problem. i save pictures that he sends to me if they aren't freshly taken to see whether the photo was taken during the time they were together. i start to wonder if he has sent the same photo to her and it makes me sick. he doesn't really use tiktok but when i used his phone a month back to watch it together. we scrolled past a few of her reposts and he did not seem to notice and i did not point it out despite being upset. i went through his phone and their old conversations when he wasn't around, and i scrolled through her reposts, many of which are about missing an ex. i confronted him with this information and he assured me that he doesn't have any feelings for her anymore. but knowing they have engaged in sexual conversations and activities before, i can't help but think that that version of him still exists in her mind. i don't understand why this bothers me so much even though i trusts that he won't leave.