u/Astrid556

I am a Christian, and I am afraid of death due to health anxiety. I keep worrying I have one disease after another. And the thought of death just scares me, and it causes me to have doubts in God because I just cant feel him there anymore like I used to. I feel like I am hitting a severe dry spot in my faith. It makes me have doubts in Gods existence. I need help on how to reconnect with God and stop the fear of death I have.

So my dad and I fought earlier. Last night, my sister and I baked chocolate donuts for our family to enjoy. So basically, they fell apart a little, but you could still eat them. We went to bed, and our dad threw them out. While we were sleeping, we woke up, and my sister asked where they were, and my dad said he threw them out. We both got mad, asking why. He said, " They fell apart, and they smelled weird, so I just tossed them." They did not smell weird, they smelled good like a donut, and just because a dessert fell apart, he never threw them out before we bake alot and he has never done this. So basically, he cant have chocolate right now because he has a stomach issue, BUT we baked him vanilla muffins earlier, like TWO BATCHES, so alot of muffins. I told him he was being spiteful because we didn't make something else vanilla for him, and he dismissed it. ( He has a history of being spiteful ) I told him he is being a hypocrite because he is always going on about how he hates spiteful people. It was in his tone when he said he tossed them that I knew he was being spiteful to my sister and me. We worked hard on those, and he tossed them out of spite, and on top of it, while we were sleeping. And I know what you're thinking," it's just donuts, " but it's not about that its about him spiting his own children and denying it. AIO? Am I wrong for being angry?

I dont know if this is a stupid qustion but where is heaven? In another dimension? behind the black walls of space? I am just a little confused about where heaven could be. How does our soul even get there? I dont know why it just raises doubts in my head, like if heaven is not in space, where is it?

I was having a really awful nightmare last night. I was crying in the nightmare, and I woke up crying. It's not like I started crying when I woke up; I was crying in my sleep. The dream was about my dad; I have unresolved trauma involving him. I have alot of these waking up sobbing dreams about him or my family. The dream was literally so bad that it triggered a nocturnal panic attack, which means I woke up in a panic attack. Why does this happen? Does it happen to anyone else?