u/Atagor

Maybe it’s because of the recent wedding. Maybe because I turned 30 this year. But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it actually means to be a man, not in some abstract way, but in real life.

I keep remembering my dad when he was younger, always handling something, work, home, family, responsibilities. From the outside it felt like he just never had the option to stop. And at some point that thought hit me with a kind of FEAR.

My parents aren’t getting younger. My wife and I have our own life to build. The world feels unstable all the time. We had to move out of our country because there's no job for us. Same many of our friends. And suddenly I felt the weight of it, even though I'm for 5 years abroad already. like, I need to learn how to carry life for real. Am I not carrying enough? But no, there's a feeling I'm an impostor man.

Rationally, I can sit down and think about resources, support, what I can rely on. But if I’m honest, there’s still fear underneath it all.

am I actually strong enough for life? Will I be able to handle it without breaking? Why do I even THINK that life=struggle? Is it an imprint received from culture?

Rationally, I know that becoming a man isn’t about reaching a point where nothing scares you. I have and had manly examples. I've read books, talked to people, did therapy and Men group gatherings.

But still there's this life fear. Maybe fear that somewhat exponentially I have to carry the life and walk walk walk.

Thanks for reading. If you're someone who considers himself mature enough and truly internalized this feeling, I appreciate your response.

Maybe it’s because of the recent wedding. Maybe because I turned 30 this year. But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it actually means to be a man, not in some abstract way, but in real life.

I keep remembering my dad when he was younger, always handling something, work, home, family, responsibilities. From the outside it felt like he just never had the option to stop. And at some point that thought hit me with a kind of FEAR.

My parents aren’t getting younger. My wife and I have our own life to build. The world feels unstable all the time. We had to move out of our country because there's no job for us. Same many of our friends. And suddenly I felt the weight of it, even though I'm for 5 years abroad already. like, I need to learn how to carry life for real. Am I not carrying enough? But no, there's a feeling I'm an impostor man.

Rationally, I can sit down and think about resources, support, what I can rely on. But if I’m honest, there’s still fear underneath it all.

am I actually strong enough for life? Will I be able to handle it without breaking? Why do I even THINK that life is a constant struggle? Is it an imprint received from culture?

Rationally, I know that becoming a man isn’t about reaching a point where nothing scares you. I have and had manly examples. I've read books, talked to people, did therapy and Men group gatherings.

But still there's this life fear. Maybe fear that somewhat exponentially I have to carry the life and walk walk walk.

Thanks for reading. If you're someone who considers himself mature enough and truly internalized this feeling, I appreciate your response.

If we simply follow the logic "I'll take a mortgage and save on rent", it won't work precisely.

For good 1BR we should expect:

- DEWA (electricity + water) -- ~6000-8000 AED
- Chiller (often a separate bill, e.g. EMAAR made it separate in Jan 2026) -- ~6000 AED
- Building service charges -- 10000-13000 AED
- Municipality housing fee -- ~4500 AED
- Internet -- 4000 AED

So, total OWNING cost (if you live yourself) is around 35000 AED / year

Basically owning makes sense only in 3y+ period, since 1st year you essentially paying the money you lost on DLD fees etc, 2nd year recovery and only on the 3rd year you're actually saving some, considering the property itself is not getting cheaper