u/Atelyan

Disclaimer: I am going to cut it myself., I'm broke, my hair grows at lighnting speed, and i got a mirror where I can see the back of it. No need to comment on how it's a bad idea! I've got plenty of those and it hasn't stopped me.

https://preview.redd.it/fmrys0kys6ph1.png?width=2586&format=png&auto=webp&s=ff21ad1227596ab3292d07962ca23e2d46e7ad71

Above are photos that I edited to try out what I would like. I'm still deciding whether I shave the sides or not.

https://preview.redd.it/lcxz5cu5t6ph1.png?width=2586&format=png&auto=webp&s=17717a34ea082ff33ff4b567dddc53c9b953e2d1

Above is what it looks like unedited, and I absolutely hate it. I usually cover it rather quickly with a headscarf or walk around with a bandana or something. I looks so heavy at the point where it falls to the nape. And i've always wanted bangs, so I pushed my hair to the front to see what it would look like, I haven't especially cut them yet.

My questions are as follows:

• Has anyone gotten a similar haircut to the one I would like?
• Has anyone attempted to do it themself and have any advice to give? Especially on the layering?
• What would you call it?

Thank you!

Routine:

Wash day is once every two weeks. (or more if i'm overwhelmed and busy)

• I usually detangle it first with a smidge of conditioner (Bounce curl super smooth cream conditioner), especially if the wash days are distant. then rinse
• shampoo (Garnier Ultra Doux avocado oil and shea butter)
• second shampoo (medical, kétoconazole)
• hair mask (Les secrets de loly - Masque hydratant, but honestly whichever i've decided to try out) or oil bath (shea butter + olive oil). I leave it in for 20 mins to an afternoon or overnight. Then rinse. Oil bath once every month if I can, once every six months if I'm lazy
• Leave-in: Authentic beauty concept hydrate conditioner. It's a normal conditioner but I use it as a leave-in and it's fantastic.
• Gel: Authentic beauty concept hydrate curl enhancer
• I apply the leave-in then the gel section by section (lower half on each side, crown, back, and top + bangs)
• Air dry, then diffuse a little (to whip it back in shape), then finish with air drying

I sleep with a satin bonnet, and never refresh. I tried mousse, but I hate how frizzy my curls get. no clue how to refresh now. I wear it out 3 to 5 days, then I wrap it in a bandana until whenever it iches enough for me to wash it.

Voilà j'ai juste besoin de crier ma joie.

On m'a pris au sérieux. La docteur m'a dit les mots que j'avais besoin d'entendre sans même s'en rendre compte.

Oui le TDA sans H peut être aussi handicapant que l'hyperactivité. Oui il explique tes difficultés et certaines forces qui ont "drivé" ta vie. Oui je recommande une prise en charge complète avec un suivi neuropsychologue et médicamenteux.

Je suis tellement soulagé.e j'ai envie de le crier sur tous les toits

Edit: vous inquiétez pas pour moi, le crier sur tous les toits c'est métaphorique hein. Je partage ma vie perso avec les personnes que j'aime et qui fort heureusement m'entourent au quotidien !

Posted this to r/TwoXChromosomes, but I'd enjoy having the perspective of both people who identify as women and people who don't, thus my presence in this sub. I do use gendered terms because i do include myself in the "women" demographic and mention stereotypes because they're still... in my brain despite everything, so be warned about that.

I copy pasted the text below, hope it's allowed.

>I was born a "girl" and raised in a relatively progressive household, where our gender didn't really make a difference in terms of expected activities or things my parents would expect from us, at least explicitely. Me and my brother played with both barbies and cars, with both the pretend kitchen and swords, just to take a few stereotypes. I wore frilly skirts because I liked how they turned, and played lord of the rings in the dirt with the boys. In short, gender didn't really matter.

>However from my teenage years on I never really felt secure or at home in my body. I looked at other girls and wondered how they looked so "pretty" and "right", but no matter what I did, it looked "wrong." When I put makeup and dresses on to be "prettier" it felt like a farce and not really like me.

>After hating said body passionately, I tried becoming more neutral towards it and just ended up avoiding thinking about it alltogether.

>I cut my hair shorter and shorter, and now it's always too long for my liking. I don't shave. I wear jewlery that makes me feel good, that I often buy in the men's section. Not always.

>Clothingwise, I went through multiple phases and feelings, some when I even felt at ease with skirts and dresses that fit my body shape, especially in summer. Right now I don't feel at ease in skirts and dresses at all, and mostly dress like a teenage boy I am not anymore.

>I don't really seem to hate my body itself, just its existence in society.

>What constitutes womanhood seems to be a pretty intersectional issue, with gendered expectations of "shaving" and "looking pretty" and "soft" or "feminine" requiring a lot of maintenance and performance, and being often nothing but unattainable expectations designed to get you to feel bad about yourself and buy products. With added mental load if you have any characteristic that may make adhering to those standards even harder.

>And that's just about physique, not even brushing up on the expectations in terms of character or life trajectory and so on and so on.

>So I thought that maybe my feelings were common and that a lot of women may feel like they are not "woman enough", but I don't really have the data to confirm or infirm that statement.

>Furthermore, being a "masculine woman" or just existing and idk not shaving for example + being a woman doesn't make one less of a woman. Just existing, as a woman makes you a woman and includes you in the definition.

>I know and fully accept this.

>So I just don't understand why the question of who I am is so prevalent in my mind and why I can't just be. I would like the way I am to be able to be part of womanhood, because if it really was just that cardboard cutout of an always well-groomed gentle woman with flowing hair wearing dresses, that'd be way to restrictive wouldn't it? But at the same time I just don't feel like it is.

>I still look at other women and wonder how they do it, but there is no envy there.

Does this experience speak to anyone who identifies as non-binary? Just looking for perspectives.

I'm honestly not sure what my question is but I'd like to collect some experiences.

I was born a "girl" and raised in a relatively progressive household, where being a girl or a boy didn't really make a difference in terms of expected activities or things my parents would expect from us, at least explicitely. Me and my brother played with both barbies and cars, with both the pretend kitchen and swords, just to take a few stereotypes. I wore frilly skirts because I liked how they turned, and played lord of the rings in the dirt with the boys. In short, gender didn't really matter.

However from my teenage years on I never really felt secure or at home in my body. I looked at other girls and wondered how they looked so "pretty" and "right", but no matter what I did, it looked "wrong." When I put makeup and dresses on to be "prettier" it felt like a farce and not really like me.

After hating said body passionately, I tried becoming more neutral towards it and just ended up avoiding thinking about it alltogether.

I cut my hair shorter and shorter, and now it's always too long for my liking. I don't shave. I wear jewlery that makes me feel good, that I often buy in the men's section. Not always.

Clothingwise, I went through multiple phases and feelings, some when I even felt at ease with skirts and dresses that fit my body shape, especially in summer. Right now I don't feel at ease in skirts and dresses at all, and mostly dress like a teenage boy I am not anymore.

I don't really seem to hate my body itself, just its existence in society.

What constitutes womanhood seems to be a pretty intersectional issue, with gendered expectations of "shaving" and "looking pretty" and "soft" or "feminine" requiring a lot of maintenance and performance, and being often nothing but unattainable expectations designed to get you to feel bad about yourself and buy products. With added mental load if you have any characteristic that may make adhering to those standards even harder.

And that's just about physique, not even brushing up on the expectations in terms of character or life trajectory and so on and so on.

So I thought that maybe my feelings were common and that a lot of women may feel like they are not "woman enough", but I don't really have the data to confirm or infirm that statement.

Furthermore, being a "masculine woman" or just existing and idk not shaving for example + being a woman doesn't make one less of a woman. Just existing, as a woman makes you a woman and includes you in the definition.

I know and fully accept this.

So I just don't understand why the question of who I am is so prevalent in my mind and why I can't just be. I would like the way I am to be able to be part of womanhood, because if it really was just that cardboard cutout of an always well-groomed gentle woman with flowing hair wearing dresses, that'd be way to restrictive wouldn't it? But at the same time I just don't feel like it is.

I still look at other women and wonder how they do it, but there is no envy there.

TL;DR: How many of us feel like we are not woman enough? Is that feeling common?