u/Atmosfyric

I’m going home this Saturday and I don’t know how I’m going to get through it intact.

For the past two months I’ve been nothing but homesick and excited to go home and see my friends, my family, and the dogs.

But now we’re almost there and everyone is saying goodbye and I just don’t want to go. I love it here. I love the people I’ve found here. I want to take all my people from home and put them here so all is well. It’s so weird because this feels worse than when I came here and left my family back home. Reverse homesickness and I haven’t even left yet!

How did you guys handle that? Did it get better when you went home and saw everyone?

Hello all! I am 18FtM, and I would like some advice regarding where to start with looking for sex. I have some complicated feelings about it and I’m not sure how to go about it, but it’s something I want to try at least once. I’m sorry if this is structured weirdly, it’s late and I’m tired lol

To preface, I’ve never had sex, or kissed anyone, and I’m not really in a hurry to do so. I’ve had one “relationship” in the past (like middle school) and that was mostly just us leaning on each other emotionally. I don’t intend to start pursuing sex until I’ve at least had a sterilization surgery for peace of mind.

I have a queerplatonic partner who is sapphic and I am gay, and we are planning on getting married at some point for reasons that aren’t particularly relevant. I know that being married and aroace will complicate things a bit, as well as being trans. Those are the points I’m most worried about in terms of finding someone to have sex with.

Here’s the aroace-related stuff:

I’m not interested in a committed romantic relationship. My partner is enough for me and is my priority.

Any crushes I might’ve had on people were fueled by a want to show them I care about them, and seeing them happy was enough to make me happy. I’ve also noticed that I only start to think about someone sexually (or find them attractive in that way) when I know them a little more and they have a personality that I like, and those fantasies are always centered around servicing that person and making them feel good. The attraction itself is also not very strong. I’m not sure where I am exactly on the aroace-spec, but that is what I’ve been able to figure out without first hand experience.

I don’t want to just hook up with someone, because I think I’d need it to be with someone I trust. Therefore I think it’d be better to find a friends-with-benefits situation where I can service someone the way I think I’d want to, but feel comfortable enough to experiment with things I’d like to try.

One of the difficult parts is that, because I am trans, I know that dysphoria (and the self-esteem issues that come with it) are probably effecting how I feel about all this, and I know those feelings might become stronger when it gets to actually participating in sex. Overall I feel like kind of a mess and trying to think about how I would start trying to experiment with sex gets a little overwhelming fairly quickly, which is why I’m writing this all here. I’m not looking for advice to apply like- tomorrow. I’m looking for some insight I could use when I’m ready to start experimenting with other people, or maybe some personal stories if you are in a similar-ish situation or have similar feelings regarding sex.

Thank you, I’m going to go to bed now lol