u/AtomicAtma

We met through a local singles group and chatted for a week before our first date. He showed up with a small bag of gifts, all probably under $20, which kind of caught me off guard but I accepted them and told him I appreciated the thought, it was very kind, but that it wasn't necessary and that I'm not materialistic and don't need gifts. The date went great, and a few days later we went for a quick walk after work since we both live in the same area. I thought that went well too.

Well, our second date was supposed to be tomorrow and I was really looking forward to it until he texted me this morning and said "I feel like I already know the answer but want anything for your birthday?" (He knows it's next week as we had chatted about zodiac signs and stuff). I told him no but thank you for thinking of me and I was happy just seeing him again and continuing to get to know him. He then responds with "Please don't get mad at me..."

I ask him why I would get mad, and he says he bought me "birthday stuff". I say "stuff" sounds like a lot, and he then proceeds to tell me he got me five different things under $300. This made me very uncomfortable and I told him this and reminded him of what I said about gifts (I still don't know what the stuff was, I never asked) and that I didn't feel comfortable accepting them. He says okay, but then goes on about how he's a giver with a big heart and it sucks, and that I'm basically his only friend, and apologizes for being overwhelming. Now I'm feeling even more uncomfortable and it kinda feels like he's trying to make me feel guilty...maybe I'm wrong? But these feel like red flags to me for someone I barely know.

He then goes on to say that he's felt a growing distance between us and was hoping to make an effort to shine because he's seen me chatting with other men in the singles group and thinks I flinched away from him and wouldn't make eye contact during our walk (I don't remember doing this, we held hands a bit and hugged goodbye and I kept looking for cute animals and stuff but maybe I did and didn't notice). And that was the final thing for me as it sounded very possessive coming from someone I haven't even pecked on the cheek yet, so I canceled our date and told him we're not a good romantic match. I then muted him without reading anything he sent in reply (will probably block later).

I feel awful because I hate hurting people but I also feel like he crossed a lot of my boundaries.

We met through a local singles group and chatted for a week before our first date. He showed up with a small bag of gifts, all probably under $20, which kind of caught me off guard but I accepted them and told him I appreciated the thought, it was very kind, but that it wasn't necessary and that I'm not materialistic and don't need gifts. The date went great, and a few days later we went for a quick walk after work since we both live in the same area. I thought that went well too.

Well, our second date was supposed to be tomorrow and I was really looking forward to it until he texted me this morning and said "I feel like I already know the answer but want anything for your birthday?" (He knows it's next week as we had chatted about zodiac signs and stuff). I told him no but thank you for thinking of me and I was happy just seeing him again and continuing to get to know him. He then responds with "Please don't get mad at me..."

I ask him why I would get mad, and he says he bought me "birthday stuff". I say "stuff" sounds like a lot, and he then proceeds to tell me he got me five different things under $300. This made me very uncomfortable and I told him this and reminded him of what I said about gifts (I still don't know what the stuff was, I never asked) and that I didn't feel comfortable accepting them. He says okay, but then goes on about how he's a giver with a big heart and it sucks, and that I'm basically his only friend, and apologizes for being overwhelming. Now I'm feeling even more uncomfortable and it kinda feels like he's trying to make me feel guilty...maybe I'm wrong? But these feel like red flags to me for someone I barely know.

He then goes on to say that he's felt a growing distance between us and was hoping to make an effort to shine because he's seen me chatting with other men in the singles group and thinks I flinched away from him and wouldn't make eye contact during our walk (I don't remember doing this, we held hands a bit and hugged goodbye and I kept looking for cute animals and stuff but maybe I did and didn't notice). And that was the final thing for me as it sounded very possessive coming from someone I haven't even pecked on the cheek yet, so I canceled our date and told him we're not a good romantic match. I then muted him without reading anything he sent in reply (will probably block later).

I feel awful because I hate hurting people but I also feel like he crossed a lot of my boundaries...AITA?