u/AudienceVarious3964

For context, I lost my job with USAID last year. I worked on hunger problems, which brought me closer to Christ and cemented my belief in a God that wants better for us than what humans could ever come up with more than ever. I stopped attending the CoC when I moved across the country (didn’t realize how regional they were!) a few years ago and had been icked out by my very conservative Southern CoC for years, really without realizing it. I don’t really attend a church now (I live in a very wealthy/political area and have been SO disappointed) but remain a strong believer.

Last year, when I lost my job and was very upset about it/the whole situation and how people I knew were literally going to die, my dad- a deacon in the CoC- went beserk. We had formerly been able to at least discuss politics/religion relatively comfortably (I love really detailed theological arguments, but am a woman, so our discussions were my main outlet for most of my years I was in the CoC lol), but this was a different level. He told me he was sorry that I lost my job but I was “part of the rot that needed to be cut out” and what Trump was doing was part of the tough love/justice demonstrated in the Bible and he hoped it would steer me back on the right track and save me from Hell, because he didn’t like the direction I was going. I probably might have been able to understand him if it was just a political difference of opinion, but he was adamant it was a matter of salvation.

To say I was devastated would be an understatement. Haven’t talked to him in about a year. Ok relationship with my mom, also devout CoC’er and conservative politically, but I really don’t know how I can get over my dad. I miss him lots. I would love to have some type of relationship with him (he’s my dad!!) but I haven’t been able to separate that out, even if we were to never discuss religion or politics ever again. For those of you that have left- could/did you remain close with anyone like that? What boundaries did you set? I really think the complicating factor here is that I do still believe and to some extent religion will remain personal for me- I don’t know how we sat in the same pew for 18 years and came away with totally different understandings of the whole plot.

Hi DC! Got a new job and fly out of DCA or IAD about four times a month, to the point where I’m spending a significant amount of time in the airport, often arriving early for my flight or staying late to take a work call and OFTEN have a delay.

Lounges have never been worth it for me before, but I think the time has come. As I fly out of both roughly equally, I thought I’d turn to the experts here to see if there’s a lounge system you have that works best for both airports. Neither I nor my company are loyal to a specific airline, so I’m open getting a card or status if Priority Pass isn’t the answer since there are no PP lounges at DCA. What works for you?

Bonus points: I sometimes have a guest with me, and i frequently take a flight that includes a 4 hr layover at O’Hare so an airline/pass that works for those situations would be ideal!

Hi DC, multi-line metro commuter here. Sometimes I take extra clothes into the office, but after being outside for 45 minutes I’m sweaty, tired, and in a bad mood. I also get significantly more motion sick on the metro when I’m overheated. Any hacks for staying cool walking around or in the stations? I’m highly considering the Shark ChillPill.

The trade association I work for has two offices- I am an analyst, so I sit in one of our offices but my boss is somewhere else, so I don’t actually report to the lead of my physical office.

I’ve never felt like I had a great working relationship with the person- I’ve chalked it up to not having direct one-on-one meetings or a direct chain of command, but I’ve been working with it. A month ago, we had a stressful, urgent issue come up and the lead of this office had a very emotional screaming incident directed at the person standing next to me, who I was working with to get out a statement. I’ve heard her take this tone once before, with a literally 20 year old junior employee in her first month on the job. My coworker very gracefully let the office lead know they were upset and removed us from the situation. Office lead later made a comment to me and my actual boss about lowering the standard of our analysis to say what needed to be said, which is something I take very seriously. Office lead apologized later that day to the coworker she yelled at next to me.

Ever since that day, things have been particularly tough. I’ve tried to give office lead credit that we’re all in a stressful time working on a certain issue and keep my head down, but things seem to have gotten worse. There have been a lot of snotty comments and strange tones, and then for the last week and a half my boss was out, so I was covering a lot of things that were above my pay grade and involved in some things I hadn’t been to that point- I was not extended an ounce of grace by office lead, and I would say that the way she was asking for things and sharing information (or lack thereof) made things significantly harder. I’ve felt super unwelcome in the office and really struggled to be motivated to do work for this person.

Everything blew up yesterday when office lead, on a work trip, texted me for a piece of analysis I had been working on and I replied that my boss had just looked it after being out and was still deciding how to handle it, so it wasn’t really my decision and it wasn’t ready to be shared until it had been run through the rest of the chain. She blew up, saying she was the one that was going to be responsible for defending the results and that we had a problem if I wasn’t going to give her the material. It was over text, but after the comments she’d made to me before and the way I’d seen her scream at people before, I know exactly the tone she was conveying.

I am, unfortunately, a crier and I’d already had a long week trying to keep everything afloat for my actual boss, who I love and is a literal angel. Sobbed in the bathroom and tried to pull it together, but knew I had to go call my actual boss and let her know that this was more than a misunderstanding before it got any worse. Didn’t help that my whole team was standing in the hallway on my way back to my office and saw my face all swollen up. I call my actual boss and tell her that office lead is demanding the analysis and there’s a lot of emotion involved and that she thinks we’re trying to keep it from her and it’s a whole mess. My voice is very just-been-crying, I’m sure of it.

Boss calls office lead, explains why she can’t have the analysis, calls me back and said she didn’t mention how upset I was to office lead but that it didn’t seem like she was upset with me personally. I’m still pretty shaken- I’ve made some pretty serious mistakes in much more serious situations in previous jobs, and while I’ve been yelled at by literal Pentagon generals I’ve never been screamed at and I’ve never felt it was personal like that.

Office lead is returning to the office tomorrow and I know I have to say something because I don’t want to dread going to work and feel uncomfortable every single day. My plan is to say I’ve noticed there have been some tensions since the screaming incident and reassure her that I’m on her team. Say it feels like she doesn’t trust me or maybe has some issues with me personally that I’m happy to apologize for or address or necessary because I just want to do good work and I can’t do that at a place I feel unwelcome. Thoughts? Like I said, I’m also a crier so appreciate any advice on how to be firm and direct- never found a solution yet :)

It makes me laugh a bit, then cry.

Mine is the Chicken Lawaan from Bistro Aracosia with the pumpkin dumplings, their bread, and the mango sauce. Making this post because I’m thinking about it at my desk at 3 pm :)

Edit: and a coconut cupcake from Baked and Wired.

After losing my dream job last year, I've been searching for things to be passionate about again if I'm going to stay in the area. And one of my favorite things about DC is it's full of passionate people! I know Arlington Parks and Rec has classes, recently learned that the Smithsonian offers some art classes, and I've had a ton of fun discovering Profs and Pints and learning about things that are interesting to me in a way that is not at all useful to my professional life. I think bartending or cocktail classes would be cool, or maybe auditing something at a local college. If you've taken a class in the area, I'd love to hear your recs! Bonus points if they're at an accessible price point and on a shorter commitment schedule to start- like four/six weeks?