u/AudreysEvilTwin

▲ 145 r/rs_x

Low key terrified of running into 'high-value' girlies

I sometimes get Youtube recommendations for Vindicta-flavoured women's self-help kinda content, you know, some mix of beauty/confidence/relationship advice paired with more dubious or un-PC stuff like Robert Greene, manifestation, social climbing, pretty privilege, shit like that. There must be a large audience for this crap because there's a lot of it.

It's making me apprehensive about how many people around me got influenced by that, because it's basically tailor-made to validate dumb people's narcissistic tendencies. It teaches some very twisted things about self-confidence that are just one tiny layer of social acceptability away from being a huge bitch. To register as appropriately 'high-value' and dignified and confident, you have to play some weird signalling game which has the end result of making people antisocial and hard to deal with.

Like, you can't be nice or give people the benefit of the doubt, or be willing to hear different viewpoints, because to that category of people this reads as weak and contemptible. If anything bad happens to you as a result of not being socially dominant enough, it's your fault and you deserve zero empathy. You need to show signs of being a bit stuck-up and entitled. The funny thing is that all of this is laughably easy to criticise or dunk on, but it's your word (a 'low-value woman') against the word of some Youtube or Tiktok guru with millions of followers.

You may be asking why this is living in my head rent-free — well, I'm Eastern European and we already had a big cultural problem with trying to take advantage of people, exploiting them, probing for weakness, so it's fertile terrain. (The algo probably got me because it was an Eastern Euro IP looking at fashion videos.)

reddit.com
u/AudreysEvilTwin — 12 hours ago

I told a friend who'd flaked on me for a movie that I'd tried to find someone else to go with. She told me it's rude to do so because it implies they were my second choice. Am I supposed to go alone then?

I'm frequently in the situation where I buy two tickets for a movie or show, make plans with this friend to go together, and then she flakes on me last minute.

In that case I try not to let the ticket go to waste and search for someone else to go with. I'm equally as happy to see any of these people (and take care to sound the part in my message), but yeah, when I invite people out the day of or the day before, it's clear that I initially made plans with someone else. The chances that anyone says yes are very slim anyway; people are busy. But I think it's worth a shot.

Recently, when I went out with this friend a while afterwards and talked about the situation, she told me it's insulting to invite people last minute after someone else had flaked on me, as it suggests I wouldn't have chosen to spend time with them otherwise. (Which is not the case, because I do make plans with these people as a first choice regularly.) The fact that this is coming from the very person who had flaked on me is more than a little aggravating. I do see her point, though.

In that case, is going alone the only polite or honourable thing to do? I already go out alone all the time, mind, so I don't have a huge problem with it, but it does kinda spoil my evening to find out it will be a solo night yet again.

reddit.com
u/AudreysEvilTwin — 8 days ago