u/Auroraborosaurus

(M26, Bi) Don't feel like typing out a long post cuz of a migraine but I need to get this off my chest. So forgive me if this reads like a TLDR of a longer post that doesn't exist. But basically I have POTS and have struggled to get on my feet as an adult for a while because of this and various other medical problems over the years, as well as depression due to my lifelong best friend's (and likely would've become more than that if not for other circumstances) su**ide in 2024. Ever since my adolescence though, life has been a series of tests and burdens I've become increasingly ill-equipped for. Anyway, the point of this post: my mother is very kind, loving, and supportive 99% of the time. But she's gen X, and it's become very clear to me over the years that it would change our relationship if she learned I was bi. Whenever she's questioned my sexuality, it's always in a concerned, upset, or tearful way, with a "where did I go wrong" kind of attitude. But I know she's struggling through so much as it is, and she doesn't have to be a perfect person for me to care about her, especially since it's clear helping me get on my feet seems to be her biggest priority. Still though, it rubs me the wrong way. It's like the idea of me being something other than straight disgusts and saddens her, like I would be corrupted or there would be something wrong with me. She's said before that "if you're bi, I'll still accept you as a son." The way she words it, not "I love you no matter what" like with anything else, but "I'll still *accept you*". It's like, "you're too important to me for me to get hung up on it and I'll find a way to cope, but it's still something bad that's wrong with you and I would see you differently." So I've always smoothed any suspicion over. She's not someone you want to argue with; she will steamroll you if she feels victimized in any way. She's also not someone I'd be willing to just cut ties with completely once I get out of this rut, get real handle on my health, a job, a degree, and on my two feet as an adult, finally. But I feel like it'd be best for my mental health to only come out to her when I'm not living with her. I've lived with this secret long enough, I can handle a few more years. I'm a survivor and am willing to wait. But do you have any advice I may not have considered yet? Thanks for reading regardless and have a good day <3