u/Automatic-Idea4069

I’ve wanted to learn how to skateboard for years, but I’ve always held myself back because I don’t know a single person who skates. I don't have anyone to ask for help or show me the ropes.

​I’m 25 now, and I’m really trying to find the courage to just buy a board and try. But to be completely honest, I’m feeling really intimidated.

● ​Am I too late for this?

(I feel like everyone learns as a kid, and I'm worried I'll look ridiculous trying to balance as an adult.)

●​ Is the learning curve incredibly steep? (I want to manage my expectations so I don't get discouraged right away.)

● ​What did your first few weeks actually look like? (If you started from scratch, did you use YouTube tutorials, pull up to an empty parking lot alone, or just figure it out by trial and error?)

​I’d deeply appreciate any kind words, advice, or stories from anyone who started from absolute zero. I really want to do this, I'm just struggling to take that first step.

I’m reaching out here because I’m feeling pretty isolated lately and could really use some grounded advice from anyone who has navigated this kind of disconnect.

​I have a few different friend groups (school, sports, and other interests), but lately, I’ve realized I constantly feel like the "background friend" in all of them.

​At school, the isolation is pretty obvious. When it comes to academics or reviews, they’ll start a conversation or plan a study session and actively engage with every single other person in our circle except me. It’s not that I expect to be invited to absolutely everything, but it hurts to be sitting right there while they initiate academic conversations and ask questions to everyone but me. I do my best academically and I'm always happy to share my notes or help out, so being the only one consistently left out of the loop makes me feel quietly excluded, just because I might not be on their exact wavelength.

​It’s a similar story with my other groups. I enjoy my hobbies and the people I do them with, but there's a noticeable distance. When I try to engage in conversation, I frequently get cut off mid-sentence. I always make it a point to ask them about their lives, but that curiosity is never returned. It gets exhausting trying to force a connection, so lately I find myself just stepping back and staying quiet.

​What really stings is the overall lack of reciprocity. I treat friendships as a two-way street. I celebrate their birthdays, buy gifts, and try to bring good energy and humor to the group. But when it’s my turn to celebrate something, or when I achieve a goal I’m genuinely proud of, the silence is loud. My news usually just gets dismissed or ignored completely.

​I’ve spent time developing my own talents and putting myself out there, hoping to find a space where I naturally fit in. I know feeling a bit disconnected is part of growing up, but it feels incredibly draining to put genuine, standard effort into socializing only to be met with a brick wall.

​Has anyone else experienced this kind of one-sided dynamic? How did you stop wasting energy on groups that don't see you, and how did you go about finding friends where the effort is actually mutual?

I get that it is probably normal, and everyone has their thing to focus on, but it kinda hurts to not be seen and be thought of by anyone for anything.