Hi everyone. My wife and I have been navigating some behaviors with our 3-year-old that we’re trying to understand better, and we’d love to hear from parents who may have been through something similar.
Here’s what we’ve been observing:
Sensory behaviors:
• She frequently chews and bites (holding with the jaw) her own tongue, especially during concentration, anxiety, or while she is about to beat our kitty or ourselves for no reason.
• She walks on her tiptoes sometimes — not always, just in certain moments. Especially when she is excited or building a rational.
• She has clear aversions to certain floor textures. She refuses to step on some surfaces with her bare feet
• She often holds random objects in her hand for long periods when she feels insecure or nervous (not always the same object, it varies).
• She headbutts, bites, pinches and grabs hard with her nails — mostly during moments of intense excitement or seemingly without a clear trigger. Eventually she can try to beat us when confronted.
Motor/repetitive behaviors:
• She walks in circles sometimes when she is elaborating or arguing.
• She’s been repeating the last syllable of words a lot lately
Emotional regulation:
• She wakes up already agitated and irritable almost every morning
• She has intense meltdowns when contradicted, when she doesn’t get attention, or when she wants food outside mealtimes
• The aggressive behaviors (biting, pinching, headbutting) are directed exclusively at us, her parents — never at other children or other adults. But except at the school the routine is pretty much 3 of us. The school never reported any issue with her behavior, but we asked for a meeting this week.
On the positive side, and this matters a lot to us:
• She spoke early and has very well-developed speech for her age
• She walked at 12 months
• She has an excellent memory
• She engages in rich imaginative play constantly
• She makes consistent eye contact
• She shows empathy sometimes. She can notices and responds when someone is sad. But is not so clear if she really cares or is a matter of perception.
• In general, she seeks out other kids and plays well socially when we go to visit friends and family
• She has no rigidity around routines.
More background context:
She was born at home and we’ve living a bit isolated from the city in a manner that she just started to have more contact with other kids this is with the pre-school. No much socialization until 2yo. Also my wife still breastfeeding at night, especially for sleeping. But it brings a lot of anxiety and angry when she wants the breast out of this time (before it was free demand).
We’ve been going back and forth between wondering if this is TEA/ASD level 1, sensory processing issues, or simply a highly sensitive child with a very intense nervous system. A professional we consulted leaned toward sensory processing dysfunction possibly combined with a high cognitive profile — but we’re still in the process of getting a formal evaluation.
Has anyone experienced something similar with their child? What ended up being the diagnosis or explanation? What helped most — occupational therapy, psychology, something else?
Any insight from people who’ve lived this is really appreciated.