They should just rename this “the lonely disease”
29f and the healthier I’ve got the lonelier I am.
- I don’t seek out relationships with men anymore (found out I was a love addict) so I stopped dating completely.
- quit drinking because I realised I’m autistic and it was becoming too scary to rely on alcohol as a crutch and I don’t want to be alcoholic like my entire family. Now I don’t go to bars/clubs etc cos overstimulation would kill me if I went sober.
- I’m no contact with all but 2 family members who I am low contact and we only FaceTime cos I don’t live near them.
- I can’t make female friends to save my life because they all get weirdly competitive with me despite me not having anything they would want??? This keeps happening and I don’t know why.
- The only person I have is my housemate who has pretty much abandoned me for her new partner, and I realised she was using me as a surrogate “boyfriend” til she met this guy. And my best friend who lives interstate but also is partnered and heavily centers her life around her.
I am so sick of spending all my free time alone but I’m also chronically ill and burnt out from workaholism. I might as well be furniture at this point.