u/Away_Combination_990

I’ve been friends with my best friend for more than 10 years, and lately I’ve started feeling emotionally exhausted by the friendship. I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unfair or if I’m finally realizing that our friendship has always been one-sided.

I’ve always tried to be supportive, respectful, and understanding of her choices. I’m the kind of person who helps the people I love without expecting something in return. If she needed a ride somewhere, I’d do it. If she needed help, I’d help. I never kept score because I believed that if I ever needed help too, she’d be there for me the same way (if she was able to).

But over time, I started noticing that she doesn’t really treat me with the same care or consideration.

For example, we used to work at the same place because I helped her get a job there. At that time, I didn’t have a car, and she offered to drive me to work since she was already passing through my city anyway. I still paid her for gas because I appreciated it. But eventually she stopped wanting to drive me home, even when she knew I had no easy way home and was stuck waiting for taxis or public transport.

What hurt me more is that she would offer rides to coworkers we weren’t even close to for free, but wouldn’t offer the same to me, even though we’re supposedly best friends.

Also, my sister works at a big electronics company and gets a lot of discounts on products. I always offered my friend to use those discounts because it doesn’t cost me anything and I’m happy to help. She used them many times.

But one time we went to McDonald’s where her brother works, and he gave her his employee discount card that gives 50% . She used it for herself but didn’t offer it to me, even though the discount was unlimited and I still would have paid for my own food. It’s not really about the money or the food it’s more about the principle and the lack of consideration.

At the same time, she’s in a toxic relationship that constantly drains her emotionally. She openly admits it’s toxic, but she refuses to change anything because she doesn’t want heartbreak. Almost every conversation becomes about her relationship problems, but nothing ever changes. She complains, asks for advice, ignores the advice, and repeats the same cycle again and again.

Eventually, I told her I needed a boundary. I said I don’t want to keep hearing her talk negatively about her relationship anymore because it’s emotionally affecting me too. I feel like I’m carrying the stress of a relationship that isn’t even mine, while she refuses to actually address the issues.

She said okay, but added that she doesn’t feel like she can fully be herself around me because I have “boundaries and expectations,” and that she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around me. That honestly hurt because I’ve never tried to make her feel guilty for her choices, even when those choices hurt me (discount stuff, driving me home and more i always respected her choices even if i didn't understand them and they hurt me i didn't bring it up).

She also said something that really stayed with me. She told me I should “lower my standards” because she’s afraid I’ll “die alone.”

The thing is… I don’t think my standards are unrealistic. I just want basic things in a partner: kindness, emotional maturity, respect, self-awareness, similar values, good communication, and someone positive to be around.

Meanwhile, her own relationship is full of issues she constantly complains about. For example, her girlfriend does drugs, which my friend hates, but the girlfriend doesn’t care. She also got hospitalized after drinking 4–5 energy drinks a day and almost had a heart attack, but still refuses to stop. On top of that, she stayed friends with her ex (and have sleep overs with her) even though my friend is uncomfortable with it, and it feels like she doesn’t respect my friend’s feelings enough to set boundaries with exes. Also my friend was drunk and she made a move on another girl and they kissed even though she is in a relationship.

At this point, I honestly don’t know if I’m being too sensitive, expecting too much from a friendship, or finally realizing that this friendship may not be healthy for me anymore.

She’s also become really cold toward me ever since I told her I don’t want to hear constant negative things about her relationship anymore.

AITA for setting this boundary and feeling hurt by the way she treats me?

It works wonders on my back and chest i put it on my face tonight but im kinda scared and i want to know if anyone tried it.

I’m 24/M and I don’t really remember the last time I felt real joy. The last time I felt something like happiness or excitement about life was during a short situationship I had almost two years ago. Since then, I haven’t really felt motivated or excited about anything. But even before that, I don’t think I was truly happy either.

Since I was around 13, I’ve been questioning the meaning of life. I’ve never really been able to find an answer that makes sense to me. I even tried to believe in God multiple times because I feel like it would make things easier, but I just can’t. My mind won’t let me believe in something blindly, so the closest I can get is being agnostic.

I tend to overthink everything. I see how people are shaped by their past, their trauma, their experiences, and because of that, I can’t even really feel anger towards others anymore. Even when someone disrespects me, I just rationalize it. I feel like I’m too self-aware, and I don’t know what to do with that.

Another thing that’s been bothering me is language. I speak four languages, and people usually think that’s impressive, but honestly it feels like the opposite. It feels like I’m not really good at any of them. Writing is easier because I have time to think, but speaking is a struggle. Sometimes I forget simple words, or I can only remember them in a different language, and then I get stuck. I feel like I sound dumb even though I know I’m not. I speak different languages with my family, at work, and online, and it just feels like my brain is constantly switching and never fully comfortable. I’m also a perfectionist, so it makes it even worse because I feel like I can’t ever express myself the way I want to.

Lately, I don’t see the point in anything. I used to work out, but I stopped a few weeks ago and I can’t get back into it. I’m working, I’m trying to get my driver’s license, I’m doing what’s expected of me… but I don’t see the meaning behind any of it. Every time I reach a goal, it just feels empty, like “this is it?”

I also don’t really see the point of relationships, but at the same time, I get lonely. It’s like a paradox. I don’t put much effort into maintaining connections, but then moments come where I realize no one is really reaching out to me either. Like on New Year’s, when everyone else is getting messages and calls, and I’m not.

I feel stuck. I feel tired. Most days I just want to stay in bed and not care about anything. I also want to find love, but I’m gay in a country where it feels like most people leave and there’s not much here.

I don’t know if this is depression or something else, but I don’t know how to feel joy again or how to care about life. If anyone has been through something similar or has advice, I’d appreciate it.