u/Away_Teaching_948

For women who are fence sitting because of career concerns, do you think women in the workforce are viewed differently after they have children?

This has been on my mind lately. I sometimes wonder if becoming a mother changes how employers, coworkers, or society view a woman’s competence, ambition, or value at work.

It feels like mothers are sometimes assumed to be less committed to their careers, while fathers may not face the same assumptions or may even be viewed more positively.

I’m curious whether other women have noticed this or whether I’m imagining it. Has this concern played any role in your decision to have or not have children?

I’d especially love to hear from women who have experienced this firsthand or who have worked in different cultures. Do you think this perception is real, or not?

Idk if anyone has experienced this but I am 22f and I am deeply contemplating not having kids. I just don’t see the point.

I keep asking my friends why they want to have children and some of them have the most ridiculous answers like “I want to be better than my parents”

I feel like resolving your childhood trauma is not a good reason to have children.

I’ve always contemplated adoption. To me, it is irrational to bring more lives into the world when so many are already in the foster system.

My problem- I have an incredibly loving and very capable future father of a boyfriend. I need to decide before he proposes if children are what I want.

The idea of having children, at least birthing them is truly repulsing. I do not think my body will respond well and loosing that time is not ideal for me. I also don’t want to deal with the mental health problems. I get that is a selfish perspective, but people want children for selfish reasons.

Part of me thinks I don’t want kids bc of my own insecurities. Maybe my husband and I will leave each other bc of the challenges of raising a child and I’ll be all alone,maybe I’ll get fat, maybe I’ll have postpartum depression, maybe I won’t have the career growth I want.

Anyways, my question is, how do you know what you truly want, esp if you have a partner who wants kids?

Idk if anyone has experienced this but I am 22f and I am deeply contemplating not having kids. I just don’t see the point.

I keep asking my friends why they want to have children and some of them have the most ridiculous answers like “I want to be better than my parents”

I feel like resolving your childhood trauma is not a good reason to have children.

I’ve always contemplated adoption. To me, it is irrational to bring more lives into the world when so many are already in the foster system.

My problem- I have an incredibly loving and very capable future father of a boyfriend. I need to decide before he proposes if children are what I want.

The idea of having children, at least birthing them is truly repulsing. I do not think my body will respond well and loosing that time is not ideal for me. I also don’t want to deal with the mental health problems. I get that is a selfish perspective, but people want children for selfish reasons.

Anyways, my question is, how do you know what you truly want, esp if you have a partner who wants kids?

[edit] follow up question, should I tell him I am feeling this way now? I’ve told him passively this may be something I want but I’ve flip flopped, esp bc he said not having kids is a dealbreaker, we haven’t fully talked out the adoption part