u/Background-Ad-9212

I 26m have been addicted to porn as long as I can remember. There is so much shame and guilt built up around it that it has created a never ending shame loop. I genuinely don’t know how to get out of it. My gf 24f is also ex mormon. She is also heavily against porn. She knew when we first started dating that I watched porn and initially she seemed fine with it. Well eventually she put down a boundary that I needed to stop watching porn or else. I told her I would stop. I tried but I couldn’t. Now 2 years later she found out I still struggle with it. I have so much guilt and shame around it that I find myself mad at her because I feel like that 15 year old boy again that continued to struggle and never felt like he was enough because he was constantly having to confess for all these sins. She asked how I was able to lie for so long about being porn free and all I could say was that’s what I had done my whole life. I learned that you had to lie and tuck all the sins away in order to feel loved from my community. I don’t know if this even makes sense but I just needed to tell someone.

My gf (F24) is convinced that I (M26) am cheating. We’re staying at a casino in Las Vegas since my gf has a work conference. She’s off in classes for like 8 hours a day and I brought my Xbox to pass the time until she’s done for the day. Well last night we were watching Netflix on the hotel tv through my Xbox. When all of a sudden my Xbox switches over to Spotify. No music comes on but it shows a song is playing and in the corner it says like “welcome Maria” or maybe just Maria. So somehow this random woman’s account is now on my Xbox’s Spotify and I honestly have no explanation for how it happened. I initially thought my account was hacked but my gf says the only way for that to even happen is for someone to add the account manually. I’ve told her I didn’t do this but she won’t believe me. Like what’re you supposed to do when you tell someone the truth but they don’t believe you and you’re not sure how to prove that it’s the truth? Part of me is not panicking cause I know I didn’t do anything wrong here and she’s got to realize it at some point. But I’m also realizing that like if I can’t concretely prove I never did anything she might just be convinced I did. I have found some Reddit posts showing how some people have had random Spotify accounts added onto their own on Xbox when in hotels or dorm rooms so I’m assuming it’s got something to do with the shared WiFi connection? She left the hotel room like 10 minutes ago to go to her conference and she wouldn’t tell me that she loves me back when she left. Please help me I’m panicking at what to do.