19 male.
Everyday i have this feeling of sadness for the past 4 years.
And all i can do is ignore it, i tried to change it, to do new things but it’s always there and i cant seem to get rid of it.
This post is the result of me almost crashing my car intentionally when driving home and my family is away and im all alone tonight and i had the urge to just swerve and crash and hopefully just end it there.
I dint know what to do, i want to do bad things to my body, i have the urges again but this time i don’t know if i can stop myself from doing it because i cut myself by accident today when i was cutting potatoes and it cut deep, deeper than i ever did and it felt true, you know? It felt like that was the only real and concrete thing there is i want to do it again.
And i cant really talk to anyone about this because they will not care or get mad or just fucking cry and won’t talk.
So yeah, if anyone knows anything please let me know.