my boyfriend and I have been dating a year and a half and he recently told me he is attracted to other women. he has a close family friend around our age and he is attracted to her and thinks she has an attractive body, (she has a big butt and boobs and dresses like a stripper 24/7.) it hurts because he defends her over me every time after she flirts with him suggest they do couple trends on tiktok and asks him to film her in a thong and bra while skiing. he said around school and public attractive women catch his eye and he sometimes likes their face or body or whatever it may be. He says he is not proud of it and wants to stop it but does not know how to stop finding other women hot. does anyone have advice on this? I do not want to hear anything about it being normal, it’s not, I’ve asked so many people and it’s literally only him. and even if it’s normal it hurts too much and affects my confidence and makes me incredibly insecure.
u/Baily_skywalker
Hi I’m 21 F my bf is 20 M we have been dating for a year and a half. He has a wandering eye issue and told me he still finds other women attractive. in particular his childhood bestie he thinks is hot and has an attractive body and every time I say she is flirting with him or makes me uncomfortable how she wears basically bras and underwear whenever she’s around he constantly defends her over me. he also filmed her in a thong and bra while skiing and claimed he was being a kind friend. He also told me, when I went from about 102-108ish pounds that I had some stomach chub I had to loose, and I should go to the gym… I was anemic and having health issues bc of my lack of food and I’m also only 5’3 so. He also about a few months into the relationship told me he was unsure if he was satisfied with me and didn’t know if he loved me, and after I sobbed, the next day he took me out on a romantic date and said he changed his mind. he also gets angry sometimes and lashes out yelling and cussing and hitting things and once or twice he grabbed me or pushed me. one time he got so angry and start driving so fast I was literally sobbing. also he told me my bikinis make it look like I have no boobs and I’m incredibly insecure about that already. sometimes he doesn’t really take me out on dates or makes me feel neglected because he is busy. Idk how to fix him, how can I help his wandering eye stop and get him to stop seeing others girls as hot. does a wandering eye just mean I’m not attractive enough to keep his attention or does he just not love me? Someone please give me advice I’m struggling with all this. It’s also my first real relationship so idrk what I’m justified in doing I don’t wanna be a psycho controlling gf either…. I also think it’s worth noting he recognizes these things are bad and wants to change and be better and stop finding other girls attractive.