u/Balanced_Eg15

I finally have exactly what I have dreamed of having and now I don't want it because I convinced myself I don't deserve it. Chicken noodles with a whole heap of heart attack dust on them and cup of black coffee.

Just wish the coffee had vodka in it.

u/Balanced_Eg15 — 25 days ago

Kubucky

My dad couldn't remember the name jumanji. We went to see it in the cinema ages ago and he asked the receptionist which cinema it was in. You can imagine the confusion on her face. I was cacking myself 🤣

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u/Balanced_Eg15 — 26 days ago

Sleeping shelf

Bed

I said tonight while out for dinner "I can't wait to go home and go on the sleeping shelf" by accident. Makes sense. Put it on the shelf when you're not using it.

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u/Balanced_Eg15 — 1 month ago

Reversally inept

A friend used this mental masterpiece to describe someone who can't reverse a car or trailer or reverse park a car. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/Balanced_Eg15 — 2 months ago