I have only recently discovered that the CSPS is now being taken over and ran by Capita some of you might already be aware and i might of just read deep enough into emails.
Essentially CSPS was ran in a dogshit way. I've only heard negative experience ridiculous long time to sort pensions out so this could be a move in the right direction.
Have a read of the link and you might need to create a new account.
As per title really I currently have the banker but discovered I don't really tend to use them at all.
I am a 25year old not 18. So I'm not some sort of wreckless person
I was in an accident last week didn't think anything more the car rolled hit a pedestrian but he got up and talking I wasn't doing anything wrong I weren't drunk driving , racing on my phone just the bend was sharp. The man was in a place i couldn't predict.
I was cautioned under dangerous driving
Long story short I was bawling my eyes out regardless I got out checked the man he wasn't crushed just a cut on the head he got up and was talking I called everyone to inform them. I didn't do anything illegal. I phoned the following day and discovered he was stable just suspected broken ribs.
The following day I was informed he passed away that night. My world collapsed even more I'm scared to what I face. I'm scared of the unknown. There is a fair chance everything will get dropped because of no witnesses black box's dash cams and was in a pretty remote area.
I can't sleep. Every bend I see I my car rolling over. His face. My reaction. The aftermath. I'm responsible for murderer even tho the copper said you won't be done for that or even manslaughter. Everyone knows it was just a tragic accident. His family are remorseful they know it was an accident they heard I tried taking flowers they know I tried asking about the man.
But I'm done. No one has been harsh and called me a shitty human I want to be shitty person I don't want to be a man who everyone shows remorse for. I'm sick of it. I want atleast someone to remind me I've killed a man and I've gotta live with that.
I did post something similar on another sub Reddit but I feel copy and pasting and not tailoring it is wrong. For anyone wondering yes I've contacted MH services. GP. Solicitors. Work. I'm scared it's a battle I've got to fight but I don't want to win.
Please someone just remind me I'm generally shitty dude and everything was my fault. All it was meant to be was a GYM day.