AITA for kicking my sister out of my “perfect life”?
I (29F) have a life most people would consider perfect. I have a great husband, a good career, a nice house, savings, and a stable marriage. We travel occasionally and rarely worry about money.
My younger sister “Rachel” (26F) hasn't been as lucky. Our childhood was difficult, and she's struggled financially and emotionally for years. I've always tried to help. I've paid bills, bought groceries, helped with car repairs, and once paid two months of her rent.
Four months ago, she lost her apartment and asked to stay with us for two weeks.
She's still here.
At first it was fine, but she gradually stopped looking for housing. She uses our groceries, leaves messes, borrows things without asking, and makes comments whenever my husband and I spend money.
When we bought a new couch, she said, “Must be nice to waste money like that.”
I finally confronted her. She said I couldn't understand struggling because I'd “won the genetic lottery.”
I told her I knew I'd been lucky, but I'd spent years helping her.
She replied, “You only help enough to feel like a good person.”
That really hurt.
I told her she needed to move out within six weeks. I'd help her find somewhere and contribute toward moving expenses, but she couldn't stay indefinitely.
She cried and said I was abandoning her. She asked how I could force my own sister to choose between homelessness and my spare bedroom when I could easily afford to let her stay.
My husband agrees with me. He feels terrible for Rachel, but says our house hasn't felt like our home anymore.
My mother thinks I'm selfish. She says that because I'm financially comfortable, I should let Rachel stay. She also reminded me that Rachel once helped me financially when I was younger.
Rachel has now found an apartment with a roommate. She asked me to pay the entire security deposit. I offered half.
She became furious and said, “You could afford the whole thing.”
I said, “I could. That doesn't mean I'm obligated to.”
She called me selfish and said someday I'll lose everything and understand what it's like to struggle.
Now I'm wondering whether I'm being cruel.
I know I'm lucky. I know my sister has had a harder life. But I don't think having a comfortable life means I'm responsible for providing someone else with permanent housing.
I love Rachel, and I'll continue helping her within reason. But I don't think my home and finances automatically belong to her because I happened to be more fortunate.
AITA?