u/Basic_Pickle_2210

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and it’s honestly been rocky from the start. He’s always been controlling - checking my phone, removing guys from my Instagram, telling me what I can and can’t wear, stopping me from going out with friends, etc. I’ve tried leaving multiple times (probably around 10) but he always guilt trips and love bombs me into coming back.

In January, we agreed to be FWB because he said he “couldn’t be a good boyfriend” at the time. Then I found out he was talking to multiple girls on Snapchat. His excuse was “well technically we weren’t together.” We broke up properly for 2 months and I completely fell apart mentally. I was severely depressed, constantly crying, looking for him around uni, sitting outside his flat sobbing. I know it sounds unhealthy but I genuinely felt addicted to him.

He came back randomly in March saying he regretted everything, loved me, wanted to marry me, etc. We secretly started seeing each other again and I hid it from my friends because they absolutely hate him (I’ve already lost 2 friends because of this).

Yesterday something happened that made me realise how bad this is. I was supposed to go to my friend’s uni ball as her plus one. I spent loads of money on tickets (£30), a dress (£80), and getting ready, and I was really excited. An hour before the event I sent him a picture of my outfit and he got furious, saying I was “desperate to go out,” my dress was inappropriate, and that he’d be angry if I went. In the past when I’ve gone out against his wishes he ignores me for days, so I panicked and cancelled on my friends.

Now my friends are angry because they know it was because of him, and HE’S still angry at me because I was upset about missing the event. He called me a baby, told me to “grow up,” and said I’m “not good girlfriend material.”

I feel trapped because I’m miserable with him, but without him I become severely depressed and obsessive. I feel isolated from my friends and family and like I’m losing myself completely. I think I’m trauma bonded but I don’t know how to break out of this cycle.

How do you actually leave someone when you feel emotionally dependent on them?

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and it's honestly been rocky from the start. He's always been controlling - checking my phone, removing guys from my Instagram, telling me what I can and can't wear, stopping me from going out with friends, etc. I've tried leaving multiple times (probably around 10) but he always guilt trips and love bombs me into coming back.

In January, we agreed to be FWB because he said he
"couldn't be a good boyfriend" at the time. Then I found out he was talking to multiple girls on Snapchat. His excuse was "well technically we weren't together." We broke up properly for 2 months and I completely fell apart mentally. I was severely depressed, constantly crying, looking for him around uni, sitting outside his flat sobbing.
I know it sounds unhealthy but I genuinely felt addicted to him.

Yesterday something happened that made me realise how bad this is. I was supposed to go to my friend's uni ball as her plus one. I spent loads of money on tickets (£30), a dress (£80) getting ready, and was really excited. An hour before the event I sent him a picture of my outfit and he got furious, saying I was "desperate to go out," my dress was inappropriate, and that he'd be angry if I went. In the past when I've gone out against his wishes he ignores me for days, so I panicked and cancelled on my friends.

Now my friends are angry because they know it was because of him, and HE'S still angry at me because I was upset about missing the event. He called me a baby, told me I need to grow up and said things like "your 20 crying over a ball you need to get a grip kids are dying" and I'm
"not good girlfriend material."

I feel trapped because I'm miserable with him, but without him I become severely depressed and obsessive. I feel isolated from my friends and family and like I'm losing myself completely. I think I'm trauma bonded but I don't know how to break out of this cycle. I've been sobbing all today and I woke up with a pit in my stomach at around 6am this morning.

I can't face my friends and I can't tell anyone my problems as everyone thinks we broke up months ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone the truth.

How do you actually leave someone when you feel emotionally dependent on them?

(F20) I feel emotionally trapped in my relationship with my boyfriend (M20) of 2 years and I’m losing my friends because of it

(F20) I feel emotionally trapped in my relationship (M20) and I’m losing my friends because of it