Why do I have such a hard time letting go of someone I would have otherwise actively disliked?
My and my now ex broke up 9 days ago, and as you could probably guess it has been hard. Our relationship lasted a year and throughout she did stuff I really did not like. And yet 9 days ago she wrote to me saying "We need to talk", and so we did. She said that she felt we did not match and that we should brake up. And as I had thought about breaking up alot of times before I understood what she said and agreed (yet it sorta felt wrong because in my mind I sorta had the "right" to brake up if that make sense, she did not seem to have any problems before and it was I who doubted the relationship) The underlying problem in out relationship was vastly different values. As I am now very aware simular values is very important in a relationship. Love is not enough. The breakup was right, and I did not really respect her values in the end. She was sort of the prime example of much of what I felt was wrong with the world. And despite that it still hurt and hurts so godamn much. And I can't understand why. If you would have listed a list of facts about her and what she did to me it would not be a partner I want to be with. Yet my emotions say otherwise. I miss her, and on some level I want her back. Even though I felt bad and locked to someone I did not really love durring the relationship. I can't make sense of why the breakup felt so bad and why I miss her so much.