u/Beard_Of_Serpico

Very fun action B movie staring ex-American football player John Matusak ( I had to look him up, I know nothing about football) as LAPD detective Jake Swan.

After his partner is killed in a gunfight by drug dealers he becomes a private detective investigating the kidnapping of a Rockstar. The same goons who killed his partner are involved! It's low budget but not badly made and i think if you have a soft spot for straight to video 80's/90's action you'll like this.

Also stars Robocop's Ronny Cox as a shouty police lieutenant and genre movie regulars Richard Lynch and Charles Napier. I was expecting James Hong to turn up too but sadly the didn't.

Matusak is an enormous angry man, he smashes down doors with his bare hands, swings bad guys around by their feet and picks up a fridge and kills a guy with it.

The action is frequent and satisfyingly old school with blood squibs and a car chase where it looks like a stuntman nearly died but they kept it in the movie because it was cool. Also boobs. The soundtrack rocks too with synths, saxophones and guitar licks which sound like they could be from Lethal Weapon.

Maybe I'm easily pleased but I kind of loved this.

A guy and his girlfriend played by the original Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kirsten Swanson are on their way to Vegas to get married when they encounter the Hell Cop. He kidnaps Swanson so she can be Satan's virgin bride in hell. The hell cop is basically Michael Myers with a set of literal hand cuffs and a gun made from silver plastic tubing.

A very entertaining B movie full of cool practical effects, stop-motion animation, car stunts and crashes. I really enjoyed this because something weird and interesting was happening every 5 minutes and it's mostly played straight which makes it more fun.

Hell is a vast desert with a Lost Boys style gang led by a guy who looks like Eddie Vedder, a donut shop full of zombie cops and a strip club with boobs and people from various time periods who have been sent to hell.

Also features a very Young looking Ben Stiller as Genghis Khan, Gilbert Gottfried as Hitler and rock legend Lita Ford for some reason. Patrick Bergin plays the devil and i can't tell if he is doing a bit or is just a bit depressed.

Definitely recommend!

One of my favourite B movies from low budget shlock master Albert Pyun. He was a man with small budgets but big ideas.

I think this might be his masterwork.

In the year 2027 renegade cyborg terrorists are planning to replace all humans with cyborgs and it's up to hard as nails cyberneticly enhanced cop Alex Rain and a team of rebels who are also cyborgs to stop them.

The plot is convoluted but once you know what is happening it's all good.

It clearly wasn't a high budget movie but it doesn't look cheap at all with some excellent practical effects, stop-motion, insane action scenes inspired by Hong Kong cinema, massive explosions and whoever was the location scout for the movie needs an award.

Also because half of the characters are cyborgs they get shot 20 times and keep going it's pretty nutty.

The cast is full of recognisable B/genre actors including Tim Thomerson, Brion James (His accent in this, is he South African or German? I really don't know), Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa, Jackie Earle Haley, Sven-ole Thorsen and a naked Thomas Jane.

The hero is played by Oliver Gruner who is basically Jean-Claude Van Damme but without the charisma. I call him "Not Van Damme".

If you're looking for an inventive and action packed 90's movie you might not know about then Nemesis is a blast.

I picked up a boxset of Steven Seagal's 90's movies recently because although the man is a colossal tool who hasn't made a decent movie in 20 years i do have a soft spot for his earlier stuff. If you like old school genre movies there is fun to be had with his early work when he was younger and actually looked like he cared.

When thrifting for dvd's i generally find that if Seagal is fat on the cover it is going to be a shitty movie. Sometimes it is even his fat head obviously photoshopped on to a slightly skinnier man's body.

In Fire Down Below Steve plays environmental protection agent Jack Taggart who is out to avenge the death of his friend who was killed while investigating a shady company owned by Kris Kristofferson who is dumping toxic waste near a small Kentucky town. I'm not sure if EPA agents are allowed to snap the limbs of bad guys or get in to gun fights but this is Seagal, he can do what he wants.

This is pure 90's Seagal - He kicks the crap out of many bad dudes, is meant to be undercover but wears some very loud jackets which make him stand out, he gives a speech to the townsfolk about the environment but playing against type he doesn't try to bang the nice shy country girl he is romancing throughout the movie.

Also features the great Stephen lang who is later revealed to be working for the bad guys because of course he is, it's Stephen fucking Lang.

Absolutely hilarious classic musical starring Howard Keel as an uber manly frontiersman with an epic moustache who goes to town one day and refuses to leave until he finds a wife.

The song "Bless your beautiful hide" has very funny lyrics where he's checking out every woman in town. His ideal woman is "pretty and trim but not too slim and sassy as can be". He would even trade his gun and mule for a wife. His singing voice is wonderful and he's super charismatic.

He meets Jane Powell and despite knowing nothing about each other they agree to get married. She starts to regret it once she gets back to his farm and finds out he lives with his 6 idiot brothers and the house is a huge mess.

Pretty soon the brothers want wives of their own and decide to speedrun the process by basically kidnapping them. It's jarring but this is a 72 year old movie and is played for laughs so it didn't bother me.

I don't watch many musicals so this was really refreshing for me with it's bright colours, lush sets and every time someone breaks out in to a song and dance number mid conversation it's a good time.

There's also fist fights, like a lot of them.

Roģer Moore stars as Rufus Excaliber Ffolkes, the leader of a special underwater commando unit who are tasked with taking down terrorists who have hijacked an oil rig off the UK coast for a ransom of 25 million pounds.

For whatever reason Ffolkes really hates women but he loves needlepoint and cats. He is also drinking scotch in every other scene and is pretty hilarious. Roger Moore's cool confidence and witty one liners are fun to see. Anthony Perkins from Psycho is the terrorist leader along with Michael Parks and it also features James Mason so the whole thing is just awfully bloody English.

Not the most mind blowing movie I've watched recently but it was a very easy 90 minutes with some nice old school action and great quirky characters.

Everyone knows how much of a tool Steven Seagal is and i wouldn't want to watch anything he's made from the last 20 years but for a while back in the 80's/90's he was genuinely pretty cool and was in some kick ass movies. When he was young and skinny he did his own stunts and looked like he cared about the quality of his movies.

In Above The Law Seagal plays Nico Toscani an ex-CIA operative and current Chicago cop who discovers a conspiracy to murder a US senator led by some pretty questionable people he knew back when he was in the CIA.

Seagal is actually pretty charismatic and likeable here as the good cop who breaks the rules to get the job done.

One of the things which makes these early Seagal movies enjoyable is he is surrounded by so many recognisable character actors who you will know including the great Pam Grier and Henry Silva as the bad guy who is evil for the sake of being evil.

I'm just imagining all of the paper work Seagal's character had to do once the movie was over because he just straight up murders a few people but they were 80's bad guys with mullets so it's probably ok.

A feel-good romantic comedy where Micheal J Fox plays Ben Stone, a surgeon who gets stuck in a small town on his way to a new mega bucks job in LA.

At first he can't wait to leave but eventually he grows to like the place.

A very solid feel good romantic comedy with some genuine laugh out loud moments and a great supporting cast including Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda, Julie Warner and a lot of recognisable character actors.

I thought it was going to be kind of corny but the love story is believable thanks to the fully fleshed out characters who act like real people.

Sometimes in these kinds of movies the small town folks would be portrayed as dumb hicks for laughs but they were all likeable and the old man doctor played by Barnard Hughes is hilarious.

I forget sometimes how much of a treasure Michael J Fox is.