AITAH for breaking up with my GF and asking her to move out
I M/51 currently lives with my girlfriend 50. We have been together 2 years, living together for just over a year. Before she moved in we agreed that I will pay all the household bills. When I say all, I do mean all. I pay the rent, untilties, both cellphones, car note and insurance. The car is mines, however we both drive it. She does have her own car, but she gave it to her oldest daughter, 23, that stays here also. She agreed to paying 800 dollars a month to contribute, and take care of the house as a whole. That includes cooking, cleaning, washing our clothes. I expressed that I will not be doing household chores outside of taking out the trash. She found a landscaper and agreed to pay him. Which is now another bill that I pay.
When we started dating, I was gainfully employed, with the goal of retirement. In Nov my wish was granted. I became a 100% Permanent and Totaled disabilitied veteran. Our goal was that she would become my caregiver. Her being my caregiver would bring in between 1900 or 2900 extra into our home. Well she wasn't approved. Things started going down hill from there. She stopped going to my Dr appointments and doing things like putting pain cream on areas I can't reach, like my back.
In January her daughter married her high school sweetheart and moved to VA. Beach. We drove her daughter's car to VA. Beach in January. While in VA Beach it was winter time, it was cold so we couldn't really enjoy it, so we started planning a trip for the summer, just the 2 of us. Well in February that trip included her sister and her husband and son, and her 2 oldest M/27 F/22. The trip was planned for the middle of June. In March the sister and her family dropped out. Around April my daughter 26 and her 1 year old twins moved, an I took them to daycare and pick them up. In May my girlfriend asked me would I still be able to go since I take the twins to school. I said yes, they will just have to stay home while we are gone. I then booked us an Air BNB on the beach in May. I didn’t tell her because I wanted this to be a surprise. Towards the middle of May she suggested that I don't go on the trip. This way they can get air mattresses and stay with her daughter, and not have to worry about a hotel. All this after i paid all the bill plus a deposit on the Air BNB. I just agreed, we went to breakfast 1 morning in May to discuss a few of her concerns and so I can express how excluding me out of this trip hurt my feelings. All I got in response, that was not her intentions. So I just canceled the Air BNB and lost my deposit. I don't want to go anywhere I'm not wanted. BTW we were driving 19+ hours to VA Beach.
The day that they left for VA Beach, I left the house. I took my oldest grandson to get a haircut around the time they planned to leave. She asked me, you not going to give me a kiss. I kissed her then walked out the door.
I texted her every morning she was gone good morning an a bible scripture, like I do every morning. All I got in return is 💕. The day before she was to head back we got into a pretty big argument. I again expressed how leaving me out this trip hurt my feelings. That's why I didn't want to kiss, hug or pray for them before they left. My feelings were seriously hurt mainly because this was supposed to be a trip for just us now I'm exclude from the trip. I normally pray before we get on the highway. She still didn't acknowledge my feelings an instead she called me unappreciative, arrogant, an inconsiderate. After she got back, the next morning we sat outside and talked. She added to the insults by calling neglectful to my dog and told me that I need to get rid of her. I asked her that if I'm so neglectful, arrogant, unappreciative and inconsiderate, why does she want to be with me? I never truly got an answer to that question. She said people that love eachother talk through their problems. She asked me, do I want her to leave. My response was, I want you to do whatever you think is good for you. She walked off crying.
Now I do need to add a bit of Content here. I've been married before. My last ex wife an i have 3 adult children and 12 grands together. Our relationship and break up was not a good one. Anyway we've been divorced and separated for about 8 years now. Well I asked my ex out to lunch 1 day so I can apologize for blaming the downfall of our relationship solely on her. I don't know why, it was just heavy on my heart to do this. We didn't go to lunch, but I told her in a text why I invited her out, then we talked on the phone. We were good. Well months later, March I'm told. They talked and my ex told my current girlfriend this. The girlfriend goes through my phone to find the text messages. She brings this up during the argument while she in VA. I told her all she had to do is ask me I would have told her. I have nothing to hide and did nothing wrong. I don't go anywhere other than to Dr appointments, haircut, and to get a medi pedi once a month. All she had to do is ask. After she came back from her walk she acted as if nothing was wrong, so I took it as if she decided to stay. I revisted the question she asked, do I want her to go? I said yes. You don't have a very high opinion of me, you don't trust me, you feel like a servant, you also don't do what you said you are going to do. That 800 dollars a month she agreed to was only paid the 1st month, 300 of which she asked for back. She then asked can she lower that to 600 a month, of which I end up giving 200 back for 1 thing or another. I told her when we moved here, I didn't need for her to pay anything. She insisted on paying something. I told her in May, look you are not keeping up to what you said you were going to do. You know how that upsets me. So don't worry about paying me anything. So now yes I want you to move. She asked when, I gave her 2 months.
Now am I the Asshole?