r/AITAHBlackEdition

My grandma (my mom’s mom) passed away about two weeks ago. We’re still grieving, and her funeral is coming up.
When we posted her obituary on Facebook, we tagged her account because we didn’t know all of her friends personally and wanted to make sure everyone who knew and loved her would see it. Unfortunately, that’s how my estranged father found out.
For context, I haven’t spoken to him in over seven years. He was verbally and physically abusive when I was growing up. One of the lowest points in my life was when I was 15, and the way he treated me contributed to me becoming suicidal. He never tried to repair our relationship, never reached out, and it always felt painfully obvious that he didn’t love me the way a father should.
We recently found out he’s back in town. My oldest brother told him that he should use the funeral as an opportunity to reconcile with us.
I told my brother that if our dad shows up to the funeral, it’s going to create a huge problem. This funeral is for my mom’s mother, not his. I don’t want one of the hardest days of our lives to become about him or a surprise reunion that none of us asked for.
Some people think I should just ignore him if he comes because the day is about my grandma. But I feel like I shouldn’t have to worry about seeing my abuser while I’m trying to grieve.
AITA for not wanting my estranged father to come to the funeral and being upset that my brother encouraged him to reconnect with us?

**AITA for deciding I’m done telling my parents anything about my personal life?**

I (23F, turning 24 in a few days) have never been on a date, had a sleepover, gone out with friends, or really had any kind of social life because my parents have always been extremely overprotective. The only thing I’ve done my entire life is sit in the house.
Today I finally decided I wanted to change that. A friend invited me to go to a lounge, and I actually picked the place because it’s somewhere I’ve wanted to go. Nobody pressured me into it. I wanted to go, have a nice time, and come back home later that night.

When I told my mom, everything blew up.
She immediately started saying things like, “You grew up sheltered, you don’t really know who your friends are.” The thing is, I went to school with these people. The only reason I’ve never hung out with them before is because my parents never allowed me to.

Then the conversation turned into every worst-case scenario imaginable. According to my parents, I was going to get kidnapped, raped, drugged, or murdered. My mom started crying, my sister started crying, and everyone acted like I had announced I was moving across the world instead of spending a few hours at a lounge.

This isn’t new. My sister wanted to go on a date years ago, and my mom reacted the exact same way. She tried to stop her from going and then ignored her afterward because she was upset. I also have another older sister who literally had to run away from home in her mid-20s just to have any freedom.

What frustrates me is that I feel like my parents are projecting their own mistakes onto me. My mom became a teen mom at 16, and my dad was in and out of jail when he was younger. I’ve never been in trouble, never partied, never snuck out, never done drugs, and I’ve barely even left the house.

To make matters worse, my mom called my older brother to get him involved. Ironically, he’s the one who actually got into legal trouble as a teenager, yet somehow he had more freedom growing up because he’s a man. My dad also kept saying, “You don’t have friends, you have associates,” as if that somehow justified everything.

I understand parents worrying about their kids, but I’m almost 24 years old. At some point I have to be allowed to make normal adult decisions. I wasn’t asking to disappear for a weekend—I wanted to spend a few hours with friends at a lounge.
Now I’m at the point where I don’t even want to tell them anything about my life anymore because every little thing turns into a huge emotional production.

So, AITA for deciding that from now on I won’t tell them anything, I plan on working so I can move out and go no contact

I'm 25F and my boyfriend is 27M. We've been together (on and off) for about three years.
Throughout our relationship, we've had the same recurring issues. I caught him lying multiple times, hiding conversations, talking to random women online, and even talking to his ex once. Every time I confronted him, he would tell me I was insecure, an overthinker, or that I needed therapy instead of addressing why I had lost trust.
Last December, after another argument, he broke up with me and told me I was "a burden." I was devastated and begged him not to leave. Our flights were booked for new year the very next day as well on 31st and yet he said he don't want to meet.
At the end of February, he came back. He apologized, said he had realized how wrong he had been, promised he would change, rebuild my trust, and even said he wanted to marry me. I didn't immediately take him back. I spent about two months thinking before giving him another chance.
Since we live in different states, we met again in May. Because trust had been broken, I wanted to see whether his actions would match his words. I asked him to do one simple thing: follow me on social media.
To me, it wasn't about gaining a follower. It was about whether he would make even a small effort to rebuild trust after everything that had happened.
It's now July, and he still refuses. He says he doesn't like showing that side of his life publicly. The part that confuses me is that he's an influencer who posts almost everything else—his purchases, daily life, achievements, and photos with his parents. He also follows and interacts with many other women online.
Whenever I bring this up, he still tells me I'm insecure and overthinking things.
For context, I've always been loyal. During these three years, I never entertained other men, even though I had opportunities to. I genuinely wanted to build a future with him.
Outside of this relationship, I have a full-time job, I'm the eldest daughter in my family, and I handle a lot of responsibilities. I'm not trying to control him or his career. I just wanted honesty, transparency, and consistency from someone who says he wants to marry me.
At this point, I don't know if I'm expecting too much or if I'm ignoring a pattern of broken promises.
AITAH for expecting his actions to match his words after giving him another chance, or am I being unreasonable?

I've (39F) been seeing my guy(40M) since the beginning of May.

Since then, he's racked up a £200 debt with me.

Personally, I feel that's a lot for the beginning of the relationship.

He's also asked me to purchase things for him, and he'll pay me back. Which he hasn't done. We also took a trip to London paid for by yours truly.

He works as a painter decorator/handy maintenance man.

He does get a fair bit of business but constantly complains that people are not paying him, and he's too shy to ask for his money????

He also makes up excuses for not going to work, like the weather?! He will not work if it's raining.

If he was doing a garden, I could understand. Or had something to do with health and safety. But it's not!! He's hanging doors!! This erked me a bit. Especially since he owes me money.

Sometimes, he'd randomly say he doesn't feel like working!!

He cut his finger cleaning the garden and sent me a picture, complaining that he couldn't finish the job.. I urged him to go either walk in centre or A&E to get it cleaned, xrayed, and stitched up.

This took him 2 days, not working to go walk in centre. I had to threaten him with no 😺 to get it sorted!?

Once stitched and dressed, he thanked me. He felt he could go back to work as it stopped paining him.

That same night, he got the dressing wet, took it off, and said he could not work without it. I asked why he got it wet. He said it was an accident in the shower.

I'd been helping him out with his work by dropping him to his jobs and picking him and his colleagues up, taking them where they need to go.

I suggested he did his driving lessons to get around (I have my own full-time job and kids to look after, so I can't always be there, and he never puts in petrol!!) He didn't seem to want to do that?

I got a massive ICK when I found out he knows a girl I used to work with, and he also owed her money.

She had sent him a message saying; "Still broke, I see!! 🤮" he let me read the conversation. I'm not sure if it was a good or bad idea, though, because after all this, it's made me lose a bit of respect for him.

I tried having a conversation with him about the fact he owes 2 women money, but he got defensive, talking about me listening to other people and shut it down.

I haven't actually spoken to her, but now I'm tempted to send her a 'hey girly' text, but I'm not sure if that's doing too much??

The last straw was when I got him a gardening job at my best friends.

She has a HUGE overgrown garden/jungle. He quoted her a price which she was happy to pay, however its not a 1 man nor 1 day job.

He asked 2 other people to help him out.

The first issue was that he didn't listen to how she wanted the garden, hacked out her hedge, and about 4 trees. Leaving a Robins nest just dangling from branches. It looked a complete mess, and she was understandably unhappy.

I told him, to rectify the situation, he'd have to give her a discount, as he got rid of trees she didn't want removing. He wasn't happy with that because then it led to the second issue.

He had told the guys he bought with him, he'd pay them by the day!! Him doing this would mean that he's out of pocket paying them AND doing the job for free!!

This pisses him off, and he refused to finish the job!

I advised him it was in his best interest to finish the job and left the conversation at that.

The following day, he calls to apologise and says he will give the discount and finish the job, but he needs money to pay the guys. He asked for another loan and that he would give me back when my friend pays him (they had a payment arrangement that they both agreed with).

I tell him I don't have the money, but I'll ask my mum.

I'll admit, that was a lie. I had no intentions of asking my mum. He has a brother, running businesses he could have asked. And i didn't really wanna make his problems mine. If he's not getting paid for this job, when will I be paid? Baring in mind, he already owed me!

Over the past few weeks, I feel resentment has built up because of all this. I mean from start til now of our relationship.

There have been plenty of times I've tried to speak about it with no solution as he never wants to talk.

AITAH for feeling like this, or am i justified??

So me 33m her 30f. I don’t have any kids and never been married but her married with 4 kids two biologically hers 3 of them under 5 and one is a teen. We started out fwb because we were coworkers and she’s married. I cut her off because it’s been at least 8 months and she hasn’t filed for a divorce yet. Her husband is trans and not working I believe.

I asked her about him living there and she said she’s not gonna kick him out if her kids need a place to stay but one moment he didn’t want anything to do with the kids next thing I know he didn’t want me to meet the kids but after they talked he was ok with it. I’ve asked her why has it taken so long to file and she’s said she’s been busy with work kids, parents etc but she makes plenty of time for me. She claim she was pregnant at one point but turned out she wasn’t. Her brother called me from her phone to talk about it yet I’ve never met or spoken to him before but he wanted to know what my plans were for the baby.

Still no pregnancy claims as of later either and it’s been over two weeks. We no longer work together so work isn’t a problem because she’s not my boss anymore. I feel like I’m staying with her because she’s been supporting me and loving on me and I enjoy her company till her touch overstimulates me or she wakes me up in my sleep because of how she sleeps

I keep expressing that I’m concerned about her wellbeing with her husband going through her phone because I thought it was clear they’re getting a divorce but he’s dating someone else and wants to have a conversation with me. Her dad wants to talk to me and meet me and I don’t want to meet him because I don’t know where our relationship is headed with her still being married. I feel like she’s not being truthful about allot of stuff. I do love and care for her but in my soul this isn’t how I’ve envisioned my love life and I’ve expressed that to her and all my multiple concerns and she says she hears me and that I’m overthinking things but I’m not happy

Okay, so I'm not sure where to start with this. I'm a reddit stalker not a poster. Sorry if this comes out jumbled everything is still fresh and I'll be changing names. I (27F) guess let's start with context. I'm part of a pretry big family that loves to throw big celebrations. Our family friends do as well. At nearly every event John(mid 30s? Dunno) is there. John has made it painstakingly clear that he is interested in me and I've made it painstakingly clear I am NOT interested in him.

I've literally beat him up before because he gets handsy. He avoided me for about a year and a half after that, but now he's back to barking up the wrong tree again.

I don't like John for a lot of reasons. He's a drunkard. Every event I've seen him at he has always been ridiculously drunk. When I've asked people about this everyone says he's an alcoholic. I have no issue with drinking every now and then. I like to drink to have a good times occasionally, but I prefer the devil's lettuce. To each their own, but there comes a time when you need to check yourself when everyone around you is telling you that you have an issue.

He regularly disrespects boundaries. I've had multiple conversations about him leaving me alone. My father, my mother, my brother, hell even some of my cousins has had conversations with him about his creepy behavior towards me. John's own family has talked to him about his behavior towards me. He has ignored everyone of them or tries to downplay the situation.

Today he started with his usual weird shit. I walked into the function with my parents and I'm greeting people before finding a place to sit. You know how you can feel someone staring at you? Well I felt like I was being watched. So, I started scanning the crowd and low and behold he's staring. I immediately get irritated cause I already know how this situation is going to go. I ignore him and start chatting with someone else. Not even 3 minutes go by before he's standing over me.

John: Where's my hug at?

Me: You do understand that I have a strong dislike for you that is rapidly turning into hatred?

John: Man, ion wanna hear all that.

My mom: Can you get out of my daughter's face? She doesn't like you. So, why would she hug you?

He walks away, but continues staring at me from across the yard. I ignore him to the best of my abilities and make my plate, crack jokes with some folks I haven't seen in a while, dance. I was enjoying my 4th.

I was talking to some guy about this project I've been working on when I felt a hand on my ass. I looked back at the hand then at the face and was immediately pissed off. John is standing there with a dopey grin. This is the second time he has touched me without my consent. I screamed "DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME" and started swinging. He tried to fight back, but it wasn't working out to well for him. It took 3 other men to pull me off him. He started telling everyone I attacked him for no reason. I lunged at him again, but someone caught my waist and pulled me back.

My cousin stepped forward and told everyone he was lying cause she had caught everything on camera. She was originally filming the fireworks, but noticed him approaching me from behind. She showed the video to everyone. So, thankfully everyone knew exactly what happened and why, but people are saying I'm in the wrong still.

So, I came to reddit. Am I TAH?

This is my situation. I am the only one that works. I am a 29F. My mother doesnt work and I have a small sister. Making me the breadwinner? I dont know what is it called. She is not of age of working (my sister). Lately, our cars been not working and need of instant repairs... which means no transport to work and missing a day or two... Lately, I been too tired, stress and emotionally not available. Yes, I am there, but not there emotionally. So, when my mother or I try to fix the problem I come out like I dont care... but I do care. I care a lot... but I cannot stress more than I already am. She gets angry at me because she thinks I dont care... and that she is doing it all by herself. Mind you... all I want to is to earn enough money to keep my family happy, but lately, no matter how much I work the money doesnt seem to be enough. Am I the asshole for saying I am tired and stress over money?

Hi all,

I am 28 and for several reasons of late, I have been thinking deeply about my childhood and family.

My dad is a quite objectively, an awful person. He is a domestic abuser who has served time for this and has several children by multiple women, some of which he has never met. He has scammed women into giving them money and I have a fuzzy memory of him stealing from me as a child. He has never had a stable job and refused to sign on for government assistance due to pride. I want nothing to do with him.

On the other hand my mum is incredibly smart, and successful. At the time they met, she had graduated from university abroad and just moved country. She was married to my dad and pregnant to me within a year of moving to my home country.

My dad would always tell me she did this for citizenship. I sometimes wonder if this is true . My dad had nothing going for him other than his citezenship and being somewhat charming. And my mum is a very intelligent women and I cannot fathom her genuinely believing my dad would make a good dad for me… in fact she even barely knew him at the time, and what she did know , was not impressive nor any characteristic suggesting him to be a good husband or good father.

As an adult, I feel like my mum choose my dad as part as an agenda, and had no care about how this would impact me in the future and throughout my life. As well as this, she took out much of the trauma from her relationship onto me , often comparing me to him as a small child. My mum has supposrted me greatly financially, and sometimes tried to emotionally.

But I have had a lifetime of emotional abuse from her, due to her past and the relationship she CHOSE to have with my dad and whatever other past traumas she has. I have also been treated as a burden and constantly reminded the struggles of being a single mother. I have been emotionally and physically abused and neglected by her at times .

\*\*Oh and my mum has been openly racist towards me for being mixed race and other black people …and she chose a black dad for me …. And that I could do a whole other post for .

I feel like I was neglected from inception. An odd confirmation is this is I asked my mum who named me, she said she doesn’t know . Neither did my dad. I think this little bit of information is a testimony to how considered I was at birth, and who really even cared about the life they were bringing into the world .

I feel resentful as an adult to my mum, as I feel like I was brought here as part of an agenda and today, I am expected to repay her for a life she neglectfully gave to me. I feel bad for her and what happened to her, and I am grateful for all that she has done to me, but she has taken out a lot of pain on me and I find being in her presence to painful now.

I \[29F\] have known my bf for 3 years. We began dating exclusively in September of 2023. We moved in together in September of 2024. Prior to us moving in, his mother lived approximately an 1-2 away, and while I had only met her a handful of times, we had each others phone number and had a nice relationship.

After moving in September 2025, my BF notified me that his mother was having financial troubles and was going to move in with us , on December 1st. I wasn’t not excited. I felt that I barely knew her, the timing was less than ideal, and plus I didn’t have much say so in the matter. It was his house and he paid all the bills. So she moved in, with promises that she would only be there 6 months so she could save money and find a new job/apartment.

\*As of today (7/3/26) she is still living there with no definite plans to move out\*

I tried to be respectful, warm , and myself. I bought groceries, I invited her to church and Zumba, we talked, and watched movies. But ultimately our relationship soured. I wish I could pinpoint one specific incident , but there was no argument, disagreement, or even talk. We just stopped talking to each other. The awkwardness became so unbearable that in October of 2025 I ultimately decided to move out.

Now that leads us to now. My ex and I have been in communication and dating again since February of this year. I noticed however that he would only invite me over to his home when his mom was at work . I asked him about it and he brushed it off. After pressing him about it he admitted that she said things about me and stated “she doesn’t want to speak to me”. He states ge had no control over how she feels and her attitude towards me. But because she feels that way, he refuses to invite me over while she is home.

I figured any issues between us could be resolved with a simple conversation, but after hearing that she’s not even willing to sit down and speak with me I’m questioning how our relationship can move forward?

My boyfriend had told me to “just be patient , wait and it will come around”. But we haven’t spoke in 9 months… so I’m not sure why she would change her mind after holding such a long grudge?

He wants us to continue saying basically behind her back. But I told him I don’t feel comfortable sneaking around his house , nor will I wait indefinitely for her to “come around”.

AITAH for not wanting to continue our relationship until this is resolved?

Hi all, so I was moving states and my sister had mentioned she would help, she never did. I had came back to my home state to pick up my furniture and my sister said she would come by and help. She never did. I had bought tickets for a concert in February for her birthday and I couldn't attend anymore (new job out of state, she still had tickets that I bought) and she said she would go take the train she missed the train and never made it (I was able to be refunded so thank God). She made plans on her own to come visit me. It was going to be her, her girlfriend and her girlfriend's child on July 4th, (which was already too many people for my one-bedroom apartment but whatever then she made it known to me she couldn't get someone to watch the dog. I knew then she wasn't coming but she called saying her friend may be watching the dog, I just went along with it, today the 3rd she texts me saying, the friend couldn't watch the dog, and she was going to try to come up next weekend her, her girlfriend, her girlfriends kid and the dogs and they would get a hotel, thats a family vacation not visiting your sister in her new place. She also mentioned that she was headed to wet n' wild as we spoke with the girlfriend and the girlfriend's kid. I responded with lets just pause making plans since they have not been going throught it feels pointless. enjoy your trip. Am I the asshole?

Trying to make this as short as possible. Our mom passed a couple years ago and they were on the whole “we’re all we have ” high. Which ended quickly. My siblings always told me they couldn’t have a relationship with me because of my dad. Honestly RIP to both of my parents but they were both shitty people. I loved them regardless though. Anywho

My siblings only spoke to me when money was involved . Anything that they could both benefit from. They would hang out wouldn’t invite me. Or when those two wouldn’t speak to eachother both would run to me . Weird shit. If they’re okay , neither of them would talk to me. Yet asking for money and wanting me to help them get vehicles etc. I have always tried my best to show them both that I cared energy was never returned. Not to mention our uncle assaulted me and those two treated me as if it was my fault!

I was a doormat for years and now that I’m older I’ve decided I do not want to deal with either of them. I really do miss the kids though. My last straw was them being completely inconsiderate of my dad passing away and also one made a comment saying “you knew this was going to happen you should’ve been prepared ”. Completely insensitive. I also wasn’t invited to any of the kids graduations . My sister act as if she forgot to tell me the dates and then asked me why didn’t I come….

My brother is an entitled guy. Treats everyone like shit. Always in drama , trying to fight everyone. A bunch of crazy shit. A woman abuser (literally ). Completely fucked me over numerous of times. Even tried to fight me before .

Not to mention , my brother used my information to get a car from a sales person that has helped our family get cars for years. She suggested he used my name so that he could get the vehicle and I said no . (I stopped dealing with this woman after suspecting she was doing some weird things just to get sales ) . Yet he still somehow got the car using my INFORMATION. Left hella debt in my name from a car that he decided he just didn’t want to pay for. I reported this lady she was fired . I am still fighting this shit years later. Trying to get that crap off of my credit . The only reason I didn’t put dude in jail was because of my nephew.

I have close friends and I have their families , but sometimes I’m still a bit sad. I miss my nieces and nephews. I honestly feel like I did what was right for my mental health though. After realizing .. do I really even want a relationship with people as such. I honestly just miss the kids though. That’s all. AITAH?

I (25F) lost my mom (was 48f) about five years ago, when I was 20 and in my first year of college. She was a bus driver, and when the pandemic hit she took an early retirement and ended up stuck at home bored most days. Her drinking, which had always been on and off, got really bad during that time, but she was still usually the one handling the day-to-day stuff to get me set up for adulthood (car, dorm stuff, money for school, etc.), and my dad helped a lot with money and driving me where I needed to go.
My dad (52m) was involved too, especially with money and driving me to school and college stuff, but emotionally he’s been inconsistent.
After my mom died, I was scrolling through her email and phone (I’d always had access and was just looking through stuff) and found screenshots she’d taken of messages and one particular woman’s Facebook page. From what I could see, this woman (let’s call her D 50f )had been around since at least 2016.
For context: my parents had been together on and off for over twenty years and only officially got married about a year before my mom died in 2021. So D clearly wasn’t some “we met after the marriage ended” girlfriend. My mom was already tracking her years before.
While my mom’s drinking was at its worst, my dad basically left. He left my mom and my younger brother at home and went to stay with D. At one point less than a year before my mom died, my mom said D pulled up to her house and started dumping my dad’s clothes outside. Other relatives confirmed that, so D definitely knew my parents were together.
Fast forward: my mom dies. I’m 20, in college, grieving and just trying to survive. My dad never really sat me down to clearly explain what was going on with D or what actually happened. He’s said things like he “did some stuff,” but there’s never been a real apology or full conversation about it.
Then a year or two later he casually drops that he and D are married and have a house. From how he said it, it sounded like they’d already been married for a while and just… didn’t tell me. Meanwhile, D has a daughter who’s only a year or two younger than me and lives with them, so they have this shiny “new” family unit and I’m on the outside of it.
On top of that, there was a period in my early 20s where I was homeless and staying with an aunt. My dad basically told me that if I wanted to stay there, I needed to “be nice” and befriend D because “it’s her house too” and I shouldn’t cause problems. So even basic survival help was tied to being cool with the woman who helped blow up my family.
Last year, when my grandma died, I met D in person for the first time. I said hello, she said “nice to meet you,” and when I didn’t say it back she repeated, “nice to meet you” again like she was trying to force me to say it too, knowing damn well it is not nice for me to meet the woman who helped blow up my family. To me, that just showed they care more about forcing a “we’re all good now” narrative than about how I actually feel.
Now my dad’s stance is: if I want “100%” of him and access to certain opportunities/help, I need to build a relationship with D. Not just be polite, but actually be her friend, go over there, spend time with her, etc. If I don’t, I’m “childish,” “doing too much,” and “blocking myself.”
I’ve told him I can be civil (I’m not going to show up and start drama), but I don’t respect her and I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want to hang out at their house, I don’t want to treat her like a bonus mom, and I don’t believe any apology from her would be real. In my head, if you truly thought what you did was wrong, you wouldn’t have married the guy and built a whole life on top of it.
Right now I keep my distance physically. I don’t go over there, I don’t talk to her, and even though my dad will talk to me on the phone for hours if I call, I keep things more surface‑level because every time we get into it he tells me I’m immature and sabotaging myself by refusing to play happy family with his wife. He still shows up for me financially — if I really need money he’ll send it and he has helped with big stuff like rent before — but actually going to his house or being around him in person basically requires me to pretend I’m cool with his wife.
I’m not asking him to divorce her or cut her off. I just don’t want my relationship with my dad, or my housing/safety, to be conditional on me befriending the woman who was his side chick while my mom was alive and spiraling.

I (30F) recently ended a 17-year friendship with my best friend (31F). We’ll call her **Lauren**.
Lauren and I met when we were 13 in middle school after she transferred from another African country. She was loud, quirky, forgetful, and honestly didn’t fit in with most kids, but I loved that about her. She always made me laugh, and we bonded over being African, even though we came from different parts of the continent. We stayed best friends for 17 years. She knew everything about my life, including the ups and downs of my relationships, and I knew hers.
Last week we went out to celebrate me passing my nursing boards and officially becoming an LPN.
When we got to the bar, Lauren pointed out a guy she knew (I’ll call him **Schmick-head**) and said he always brings up “that situation” involving me from about 4½ years ago. At first, I genuinely couldn’t remember what she was talking about because it had been so long. She tried jogging my memory but eventually dropped it.
For context, what she was referring to happened years ago at another bar. We were all hanging out outside when my now ex (and the father of my son) showed up drunk. He became convinced Schmick-head was flirting with me and wanted to fight him. Everyone kept telling him nothing was happening, but alcohol was involved and he wasn’t listening.
At that point in my life, my relationship with my ex was incredibly toxic. Whenever he drank, he could become verbally abusive and sometimes violent. That night was humiliating because it happened in front of friends and strangers, and it’s honestly something I’ve tried to move past.
Fast forward to last week.
Lauren and I grabbed our drinks and went out to the patio. It was a small patio with maybe 10-12 people and no music, so everyone could hear everyone else’s conversations.
Schmick-head came outside with his friends, saw Lauren and me, greeted her, then looked at me and said I looked familiar.
I told him I didn’t remember him.
Then, loud enough for everyone to hear, he said:
“Oh yeah, you’re the girl whose crazy boyfriend wanted to fight me because he thought you were flirting with me.”
I immediately felt embarrassed.
I responded, “Bro, I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never flirt with you. You’re not even my type.”
I was hoping he’d drop it.
Instead, he turned to Lauren and said, “Lauren, don’t you remember? That was a crazy night.”
Lauren smirked and said,
“I’m staying out of this. I plead the fifth.”
I actually appreciated that… for about two seconds.
Then she immediately followed it up with,
“But yeah, sis… that WAS a crazy night.”
She continued by loudly telling him,
“Yeah, that’s the night he was telling me you should be more like me and how I should teach you how to be a good woman.”
Then she laughed it off saying my ex was “probably drunk and on coke.”
Meanwhile, I was sitting there completely silent, staring at my phone because I was so embarrassed. I was literally shaking.
Schmick-head kept dragging the story out while Lauren kept responding to him instead of reading the room and realizing how uncomfortable I was.
When he finally finished, he tried to shake my hand. I refused and told him I wasn’t shaking his hand. He got the hint and walked away.
Then Lauren looked at me and asked,
“Are you okay? Why are you so quiet?”
I honestly couldn’t believe she even had to ask.
I told her I was fine because I didn’t want to explode in front of everyone. I went inside the bar for about 15 minutes to calm down.
Later I pulled her aside privately and explained why I was hurt.
I told her that she should have left it at “I plead the fifth.” Instead, she joined in and turned one of the most traumatic and embarrassing moments of my life into entertainment for everyone sitting around us. I also told her I would never have done that to her.
Instead of apologizing, she became defensive.
She insisted she wasn’t agreeing with him because she’d said “I plead the fifth.”
I told her that didn’t matter because she immediately continued the conversation afterward. She never acknowledged how uncomfortable I was even though it was obvious.
Eventually I got frustrated, ended the conversation, and she left the bar.
The next day I sent her a voice message explaining my feelings more calmly because I wanted to make sure I communicated everything clearly.
About two hours later she sent me what honestly looked like a ChatGPT-written essay.
Instead of apologizing, she told me:

\- I take things too personally.
\- The guy makes jokes about everyone.
\- Nobody else at the bar cared or was even paying attention.
\- I have years of unresolved bitterness.
\- I should go to therapy.
\- She brought up unrelated conflicts from years ago to argue that I’ve never forgiven her for past “MISTAKES”(This isn’t the first messed up situation she’s done to me)
\- States she can’t be friends with someone who brings “unresolved anger and bitterness” in her life.

I responded that this wasn’t about events from years ago—it was about what happened that night. I told her she refused to take accountability, made my feelings about herself, and kept justifying her behavior instead of simply acknowledging that she hurt me.
We ended our 17-year friendship that day.
Some mutual friends think I overreacted because “it was just a joke,” while most think Lauren should have shut the conversation down the moment she realized I was uncomfortable.

**AITAH for ending a 17-year friendship over this?**

Edit: I haven’t decided to end our friendship over this one situation alone. Context is in the comments. This is just the tip of the iceberg guys, y’all have no idea.

I(M24) ordered indian food and passed her the phone so she could get what she wants and when she gave it back to me it was 2 main dishes (bhindi bajee+butter chicken),1 starter (samosas) and 2 sides (garlic naan and pulao rice). I also ordered quiet a lot of food so the whole order amounted to a little under 100 euros.

When she was done, she still had some food left so, as I was cleaning the table, I proceeded to put the food she had left in the fridge but she said she wouldn't eat the rice as she didn't like it because there were dried raisins in it. I said she should eat it because it was a big order and that's what she ordered. I believe it is basic respect that if you make someone pay for a lot of food, you have to eat it as long as it's eatable, as a form of basic consideration for them offering you food. She starts laughing in my face and says "Im not eating this btw". It felt really disrespectful and a lack of consideration to me.

We have been in an argument since because she argues me saying she has to eat the food she orders is me trying to control her and lacking consideration for her while I feel like she lacks consideration for me and am deeply hurt by her not at least acknowledging it. AITAH ?

I (32M) recently told a friend of mine that I don't want him contacting me or my family anymore. We've known each other since around 2010, but I feel like the friendship has become unhealthy and one-sided.

Some context:

1. My 30th birthday (2023)

I wanted to spend my 30th birthday in New York City. Instead, I stayed because my friend insisted I should be there since his then-fiancée was visiting.

The birthday ended up being one of the worst days I've had. Looking back, I felt pressured into spending it the way he wanted rather than the way I wanted. More importantly, it reinforced something I had been feeling for a long time: when things are difficult, he isn't someone I can rely on.

2. Eye infection and ER visit (April 2023)

I developed a severe eye infection and could barely see. I needed to go to the ER.

Despite living together at the time, my friend didn't even walk me to the taxi or help me get there. He stayed seated at the dining table while I struggled to leave the apartment. I was so visually impaired that I hit walls multiple times trying to get out.

I ended up going through multiple hospitals before getting proper treatment. The nurses at the ER were shocked that I had come alone and told me it wasn't safe.

What bothered me most was what happened afterward. When I got back, instead of asking how I was doing, he wanted to celebrate and drink because he was leaving for India the next day. I felt completely unsupported.

3. Money he owed me

At one point he borrowed about 10,000 Euros from me.

When I later asked about it, he became aggressive and insisted he didn't owe me anything. He told me I was mistaken, drunk, or imagining things.

Only after I showed him proof of the transaction did he admit it and pay me back.

4. A pattern of behavior

Throughout the friendship, I often felt belittled, insulted, or dismissed. Whenever I tried to bring up concerns, I was told I was "too emotional," "overthinking," or imagining problems.

I genuinely cared about him and considered him family, but over time I started feeling that the friendship existed more for his benefit than mine.

To be fair, there were good times too. We were both nerdy teenagers and bonded over shared interests. But as we got older, I felt we grew apart, and many of the positive memories were outweighed by feeling disrespected and unsupported.

I had already tried distancing myself before, but he reached out again around my birthday, and I realized I no longer wanted any relationship with him.

So I sent a message telling him not to contact me or my family anymore.

AITA for ending the friendship completely and burning the bridge rather than simply drifting apart?

EDIT: Number 1 was bad because we were in Barcelona, My friends fiance was in Toronto, and he was in Barcelona cheating on her rampantly.

And on my birthday I was called an asshole because I wasn't able to act in a way to lie to hes girlfriend, because the woman he was hooking up with was also present, and my friends gf said I saw hes reaction, i know you cheated on me, I was told by me friend that I am an asshole to not hoide thngs enough, and in my 30th brithday , hes girlfriend came to me crying saying its your bithday lets celebrate, my friend didnt care, she was crying, somehow they are married right now, i just dont want to be a part of

EDIT: To clarify why Point 1 was so awful: we were in Barcelona at the time, and my friend’s fiancée had come from Toronto to visit. The issue was that my friend was rampantly cheating on her—and the woman he was hooking up with was actually present at my birthday celebration.

His fiancée picked up on my reaction and realized he was cheating. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, my friend blamed me entirely. He told me it was my fault because I couldn't act well enough and couldn't lie to cover for him. My 30th birthday ended with his devastated fiancée crying to me, trying to salvage the night by saying, "It's your birthday, let's just celebrate," while my friend didn't care at all. Somehow, they are married now, and I just want absolutely no part in that.

My sister, who turned 10 on Monday, has been the reason i’m regretting ( I saved up for it ) I’ve been spending half of my check on an iPad. She promised me she’d make good grades and learn how to do things on her own. Honestly, I regret it so much. We’re financially struggling. My mom and I work full-time at a fast food restaurant, and most of her life, she’s been spoiled by my grandparents. She needs us to do everything for her. She won’t even get in the shower without us begging her, and sometimes, she just does it halfway to get it over with.

I’m trying to teach her common sense, help her with her studies, and learn the things I wish I knew in life. I’m trying to teach her how to brush her hair, but she already doesn’t want to. I show her how to do it, show her a video, and give her multiple physical tutorials, but she throws things, cries, and refuses. I told her she won’t get her iPad or technology if she doesn’t calm down and do it the right way. I’m so tired. I refuse to take care of a child who gets the easy way out. My mom doesn’t want to deal with it either, so she just gives in and gives her what she wants, even though she doesn’t do her homework and cheats at school.

I’m an adult, and my mom and I live with my grandparents. I’m ready to leave. I’m not my sister’s mother, and she won’t make it the way my mom is going. I don’t care how tired my mom is I am tired too. That’s her child, and she’s not parenting like she should. the bottom line is I wasted my money on a child who gets everything she wants no matter, what I felt bad because she did not get a good birthday like all the other years before my grandparents had retired. The iPad is for the after you do your chores and do your homework not in place of that time and I messed up.

My (31f) MIL (53f) looks after my daughter (1f) on Mondays and Fridays whilst I work.
Back story: my FIL got diagnosed with Cancer 8 months ago, and since then, my MIL has been making TikTok videos to spread awareness and document her and her families journey through the diagnoses. She has gained approx 12k followers from this.
2 weeks ago, when FIL was having chemo treatment, MIL took my daughter to meet up with someone from TikTok who happened to be having treatment in the same hospital. Note - before this meeting, they had never met, and had no mutuals. They only knew each other through TikTok.
My husband and I found out about this meeting after it had happened. I raised my concern with my husband, that this meeting was with a stranger she met on the internet, and I was not comfortable with her taking my daughter along like this again. My husband then spoke to MIL about the situation the next week she was round, and it seemed to be fine.

Fast forward 2 weeks, and I was at MILs and she said ‘hubsand said you have some concerns with me meeting someone from TikTok’. I reiterated how I felt uncomfortable with her meeting with a stranger whilst looking after daughter.
MIL stated ‘daughter was in her pram and the lady was in a wheelchair and we were just at the hospital coffee shop’. I explained that although that was the case, before they actually met, MIL couldn’t have been sure the lady was who she said she was, and people should always be aware of stranger danger. It’s one thing meeting someone off the internet, it’s another thing taking someone else’s baby daughter with you.

MIL was defensive stating daughter was never in danger, and that she never took her eyes off daughter. I said it only takes one split second distraction for something to happen. She disagreed again saying she wasn’t in danger, smirking and walked away from the conversation.

I left after this, as I was angry and did not want to say something in the heat of the moment.

I let my husband know I was leaving (we drove separate) and after I’d left he went to talk to her (defend my honour as he put it) and she would not listen to what he had to say.

I believe this had the potential to put my daughter in danger, and I do not feel comfortable bringing her over anymore if this is a risk.

If my daughter was at home on Monday and Fridays, I could work with her. The reason it is nice for her to go to MILs is for bonding time.
We have said if she wishes to meet with someone she doesn’t know, then we will keep Daughter at home those days. She agreed that’s fine. My concern is not that she will necessarily do it again, it is that she doesn’t understand what she has done wrong, and won’t see my point of view, therefore potentially putting my daughter at risk in the future.

Am I the asshole here or am I within my right to be angry at this situation?

TW: ABUSE!

I (15M) used to live in a home with my mother (42F) and my sister (19F). My sister has a boyfriend who is just as old as my mother. (38M) This man, has no life goals, aspirations, or values aside from running the streets as well as being homeless and being a hoodlum. My mother has set clear boundaries with my sister that she doesn’t want that man in her house, and she refuses to respect that boundary. She has clothed that man, fed that man, and cleaned that man, all in my mothers home without giving her any sort of payment or notice, and with all of that assistance to him, he treats her like shit. He beats on her, he disrespects her, and when she tries to leave he doesn’t let her, to the point where he has broken her window with a rock, twice. Recently, my sister got a restraining order on him, and I thought it was the last we’d see of him, Nope, not my sister. She willingly brought him back into my mother’s home, and I’m sick of it. So I told my mother, who is just as fed up. My mother isn’t home, as she’s on vacation in Florida, but I pray something happens to prevent that vile man from going anywhere near my maternal family.

So, am I the asshole?

I know the title is shocking, but please read. So my mom asked me to go to new york with our family and I said yes. Im the the type of person to post about everything and take photos, and I needed someone to help me and take pictures together so, I asked if my friend ”A” Could come. My mom said yes but I was still skeptical and double checked and asked her if she could come, she said yes again. Now, my mom’s diagnosis is stage 0 so it’s very small but she still wants to spend time with us. I’m not saying this to look like a good guy so disregard if you want. Fast forward 1 day before the trip and she’s panicking about room. At this point I've already told ”A” and she’s packed and ready to come over. My mom comes home from treatment and says, “I don’t want to go anymore.” So I tell ”A” nevermind, stop packing, and stopped washing my clothes for the trip. The morning comes and my brother and his girlfriend come to my house which is weird because I thought we weren’t going??? They start packing and my mom and brother look at me crazy when I said I’m not going. I’m hurt because my mom put me in this position and expects me to just lie to my friend and not post on social media. I’m not a good liar and I have her and her friends on like all my social media. Im also not packed or ready at all. I still have much packing and washing to do so I told her I’m sorry and that I can’t go. AITAH?

There is a girl that I have been dating recently (let’s call her M) that told me she accepted an engagement ring from another guy that she has also been dating as well. In response to this, I started texting a girl (let’s call her K) that is a friend of a friend to M (the one that accepted the engagement ring). We will call the mutual friend L. One day while M and L were at brunch, L tells M that I’ve been texting K and M got upset because she felt like I betrayed her. The main reason M is upset because I wasn’t transparent and didn’t tell her about me texting K the same way she told me about her accepting the engagement ring. AITAH for not telling M that I started texting K or AITAH for texting K all together?

UPDATE: I realize that the initial post was confusing so I added initials to make it easier to understand.