u/Western_Clerk_1305

I (24f) am on PTO this week to celebrate my birthday and I am blessed enough to have to not go back until next Tuesday.

To preface everything, my friend group is very 420 friendly and we do partake in shrooms every once in a blue moon. Today, literally 20 minutes ago, I asked my friends Leigh (25f) and Jordan (26f) if they wanted to come to my house this coming Sunday to watch movies, order takeout, and partake in some shrooms. Leigh immediately said yes. Jordan said yes but asked if she could bring our nephew/ her son (11 months).

I was about to answer the text message, but a call came in from my boss that I needed to answer. After I got off the phone with my boss I saw a lot of messages in the group chat between Leigh and Jordan. Leigh shared that If she’s not taking shrooms than maybe she can. Jordan expressed that she wouldn’t if he comes. Leigh also expressed that if she can get a family member to watch him she could. Leigh responded she doesn’t know given that we are going to be going on a magical trip.

I responded agreeing with Leigh sharing my conscious wouldn’t let me do that if baby Peter was to come and I would feel really bad. Jordan has yet to respond.

I just feel really bad because I don’t want it to seem like we are excluding her, but I’m also not comfortable going on a trip with a baby around?

I also know that if baby Peter is here, she is going to make us go outside to smoke if we decide to do so and the last time that happened, she asked my boyfriend to watch Peter and my boyfriend couldn’t smoke with us. I didn’t really smoke either because I felt oddly obligated to keep my eye on the baby.

I hope I’m not coming off as mean I just don’t think that is an environment for a child. The only reason I responded was because we are meeting at my place and so I do have to weigh in. I’m just worried I may have hurt her feelings. Am I the asshole?

I (24f) am on PTO this week to celebrate my birthday and I am blessed enough to have to not go back until next Tuesday.

To preface everything, my friend group is very 420 friendly and we do partake in shrooms every once in a blue moon. Today, literally 20 minutes ago, I asked my friends Leigh (25f) and Jordan (26f) if they wanted to come to my house this coming Sunday to watch movies, order takeout, and partake in some shrooms. Leigh immediately said yes. Jordan said yes but asked if she could bring our nephew/ her son (11 months).

I was about to answer the text message, but a call came in from my boss that I needed to answer. After I got off the phone with my boss I saw a lot of messages in the group chat between Leigh and Jordan. Leigh shared that If she’s not taking shrooms than maybe she can. Jordan expressed that she wouldn’t if he comes. Leigh also expressed that if she can get a family member to watch him she could. Leigh responded she doesn’t know given that we are going to be going on a magical trip.

I responded agreeing with Leigh sharing my conscious wouldn’t let me do that if baby Peter was to come and I would feel really bad. Jordan has yet to respond.

I just feel really bad because I don’t want it to seem like we are excluding her, but I’m also not comfortable going on a trip with a baby around?

I also know that if baby Peter is here, she is going to make us go outside to smoke if we decide to do so and the last time that happened, she asked my boyfriend to watch Peter and my boyfriend couldn’t smoke with us. I didn’t really smoke either because I felt oddly obligated to keep my eye on the baby.

I hope I’m not coming off as mean I just don’t think that is an environment for a child. The only reason I responded was because we are meeting at my place and so I do have to weigh in. I’m just worried I may have hurt her feelings. Am I the asshole?

AITAH for canceling my birthday trip to Universal Studios after people started dropping out and asking me to cover their costs?

So my birthday is in August and I planned a whole trip to Universal Studios—me, my boyfriend, his brother, and four of my friends. Seven people total. I made a DETAILED itinerary. Like prices, time blocks, group activities, personal time, all of that. I personally reached out to everyone to find dates that worked, we all locked in the same week, and I went ahead and reserved the villa.

IN MARCH I sent everyone the itinerary including their portion for the villa—$211 and some change each. Last week two people drop out. Already annoying because now the cost goes up for everyone else or I have to eat the difference AND we talked about this 🥹.

BUT. I specifically told the group do NOT buy your Universal ticket yet, wait until I send the official text blast. One person bought their ticket anyway, and now is asking me if I can cover their villa portion until they pay me back sometime after the trip. Like… you already requested off work. You already got a babysitter. You’re coming. But you need ME to front your villa cost for my birthday trip 🥴?

This would actually be the THIRD birthday in a row where I’ve covered people to come celebrate me. The last two years I paid out of pocket because I really wanted certain people there. I love my people but I am TIRED. And the kicker? The same ones who can’t cover their portion are the same ones asking if they can bring strangers I’ve never met. Make it make sense.

My boyfriend offered to take me to NYC instead. Shopping, museum hopping, sweet treats, all my favorites! I’ve been trying to get back to New York for two years now. My stepdad is from the Bronx and I used to go all the time as a kid to visit my late grandma, so it genuinely means something to me. Then I’m thinking I just go out to St. Yves with some friends (including the same people from this trip) and have a good time without the financial stress.

But now I’m second guessing myself because one person already arranged their PTO and childcare around this trip. Even though they won’t lose any money, am I wrong for pulling the plug and just doing something different?

AITA?