Frustrating to finally start to see the light
M/64, met wife @ 18, her 15, dated 7 before marriage, waited 10 before kids. Great kids, professionals, and coming up on 39 yr anniversary in a few months.
I was that guy.. cards, letters, flowers, fill up gas tank, wash dishes, laundry, ironing, yard work, all working 5-6 days a week. Her part time or stay at home wife. Paid off house worth 500k, 500k in Roth's, zero debt, thought all was good, and then boom, tells me I am a terrible at conversation, says she wants me to talk longer than I do, and has completely shut down for 7 months, barely saying a word, nonl intimacy, etc. All I ever wanted was to be appreciated, thanked for the hard work I put in to take care of the family, etc.. nothing more, but always felt like I had to ask for it over the years rather than it being genuine from her.
I brought up counseling, she said she didn't believe in it. That was 6 months ago. Lol and behold, she finally brings it up, takes 2 weeks to find one, and all this time I was thinking it would be couples counseling, but she set up for each of us to meet with someone separately, and then when "they" are at a certain point, then we would then be set up to work as a couple. I am not perfect, nor is she, but I have never done anything to hurt or be the ass intentionally. She is 100% intentional, and she admits it openly.
Needed to vent, keep asking myself is this how I want to live the next 25-30 yrs of my/our lives? Both in good health, so that's a number I am assuming. Advice anyone? Am I the one that needs help or her?
Tl;Dr. Long time marriage seems to be coming to an end, trying to navigate what lies ahead