u/Beginning-Funny2590

After my recent post and reading the comments I feel that I may have been misunderstood.
But first to those who did offer advice, I greatly appreciate it. To be completely honest, I have thought for a long time that we should break up simply because I know she can and deserves better. However selfishly I don’t want to lose her.
We have tried experimenting a little bit to try to build chemistry or make it more fun but it never seemed to rlly work. I think it’s because we used to be friends and used to “bully” each other so it’s a bit harder to be 100000% vulnerable when experimenting. It is something that we have discussed and try to work through.
Our sex life or lack there of is something we have talked about, and agreed to attempt to do it more, we even agreed to have sex everyday in the month of may and didn’t make it to the first day.
To me it seems so difficult to even begin to do it, it’s has nothing to do with sexual attraction. Because I am very attracted to her. However for whatever reason it always seems that there are more pros to just jerking off. Which is what I wanted to ask advice for.
I noticed that some of my vernacular may have been interpreted as disrespectful. To clear it up, the bodies comment. I meant no disrespect, I think that the people that are around me in my life and myself included along with my GF, use that phrase so it didn’t seem disrespectful or condescending, however I understand why it would come off that way so I apologize to those that I offended with my comment.
I didn’t include much information about my gf like what I like or love about her because it didn’t seem necessary in my post. Don’t get it twisted I do love my gf more than life itself, which is apart of the reason we haven’t broken up because selfishly I can’t lose her.
In conclusion, apart of me does believe we should break up so she can find better because I know that she can. If possible I would like to grow so that can be avoided. Which leads to my question how do you build sexual chemistry in a relationship. If it truly is a lost cause then let me know. Sex isn’t a large part of my life but she brings it up more as the weeks pass. I don’t want to continue to disappoint her.
Also she is bi and we have seriously talked abt bringing in a 3rd. At one point we were literally abt to do it but complications arose, which is a completely diff story. My other question would be. Is this something to look into or would that be a mistake?

I 25m have been dating my gf 24F for almost 4 years now. We met in high school and started dating shortly after. I had a few bodies before her but I was her first.
It took us abt 6 months to engage into these activities because it always felt awkward and there never seemed to be great sexual chemistry. That has kinda how it’s been since then as well. We would go through phases of having sex a lot and then not very often. But never this bad. I have told her that I don’t always like being the 1 who has to make the first move as it makes me feel undesirable. But she never makes the first move so I end up doing it anyways. The sex itself is fine. No MAJOR complaints. I js know that there isn’t any REAL sexual chemistry. I only know this because the girl i dated before, me and her had great chemistry. Anyways, we haven’t had sex in almost 4 months because I havnt waned to make a move. She expresses the desire to have sex but never make a a move. And tbh, I js don’t want to. Sex is no longer a big part of my
Life anymore. I’m fine without it. I’m at a point where I’d rather shake my chicken instead of attempt to have sex. To add on top of that our relationship has been in a bit of a rough patch as well.
My question is what do I do? Is there a way to fix this? And for long term couples is it necessary to have great sexual chemistry.