u/Beginning-Sand9924

A few months ago I searched up my boyfriends public records and it shows he was convicted for soliciting a minor. He explained to me how he was caught up in a sting operation but he wasn’t aware she was under age. He explained it as a simple misunderstanding. I believed him. But today I decided to go through his things and the documents show a different story.

It was not a sting. But she never told him her age. What did happen according to the police report, he agreed to have coffee with her near his place. Then he asked to go for a walk. He walked her to his house. And lured her into his apartment where (according to her) he had sex with her non consensually. After the incident, he messaged her about how the sex they had made the video look weird. She’s like wtf? What video??? She didnt want to end up on purnhob so she reported him.

Innocence

I spent 7 years of my life in a relationship(I’m 24 now). We were stuck in a toxic cycle, I caught him talking to other girls while he attempted to hide them from me, and I stayed with him. Regardless, I never once caught him watching porn or touching himself. I suppose he got really good at hiding stuff he didn’t want to be found. Tell me if I’m wrong, but I believe every man watches porn once in a while.

Anyways, we broke up a year ago.

Since then, I’ve just wanted openness and honesty from my partner. Or so I thought..

The Porn Addict

Not too long ago, a friend and I started dating. He is a bit of a weirdo but so am I... He showed me what he liked to do for fun. It interested me at first, as I had never seen something like it, and I was curious.

He had 3 monitors on his computer desk. He put different porn on all 3 of his screens, each video displayed 3 porn videos simultaneously . So that makes 9 porn videos to watch at once. He even made a hands free jerking contraption, that syncs to the video’s rhythm. He wanted me to watch with him, but I wasn’t a fan. I didn’t ask him to change, as that hadn’t worked out for me in the past.

One evening as I was cooking dinner, he put some porn up on the big screen in the living room while he watched me cook, like it was some regular tv channel. He started a video chat with his friend and was boasting about the scene. I thought “wow I must be the coolest girlfriend”

The Addiction

He has a penile dysfunction. It would randomly get soft in the middle of us doing it, although he seemed to really enjoy our sexy time. He never wanted to stop, I really mean it when I say never :( he would have me say stupid stuff during sex. I didn’t really want to because it would turn me into an actress, which I am not. He used clitoral stimulating toys on me. I thought it was nice, that he was trying to make up for not having a functioning penis. BUT, he would keep going despise me having multiple orgasms. My clit going numb didn’t even stop him from continuing. He wanted to break my clit like he broke his penis.

I haven’t even mentioned his emotional outbursts. His addiction to the dopamine got the best of him. He NEEDED to watch porn and/or have an orgasm to have a good day. I would tell him I’m ready to leave in 30 minutes, he said ok let me jerk off before we go. And if he didn’t, he’d scratch his face off, threaten to kill himself, strangle me, or even rape me.

The Offence

I screamed, I kicked, I cried, but he overpowered me with his strength. And guess what. His penis got hard! Coincidence? I don’t think so. This guy is a psycho.

I called the police during an eventful evening.

The aftermath

I met one last person after him. The new guy told me he had a porn addiction, straight up. He claims he’s stopped watching porn once he met me. But he made several comments that really made me uncomfortable. Here are a few :

-“I haven’t watched porn in a while”

-“men need sex everyday”

-“I thought I liked Asian girls, but being with you has changed me”

-“I’m kind of bummed that ur exs got to you before I could”

-“men and women can’t be friends”

Followed by

-“thats my best friend, we dated once upon a time”

And the straw that broke the camels back

-“You’re like a 12 year old that I’m allowed to look at”

Not to mention the stuff he wanted me to say during sex was really disturbing.

I used to love calling men daddy. Getting looked at by men used to be flattering. I loved being submissive in bed. Now I get disgusted every time a man approaches me. Like ew, get ur wet penis away from me. I don’t feel like a girl-boss anymore. I feel like an empty clam shell. I need to figure out how to feel whole again.