I don't know if this is the right place to even broach this concern. But it haunts me every day.
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I'm 48, divorced, and basically live in a MIL cottage on her property. Nothing weird about that. While disabled, I can still fetch mail and takeout trash. And build the rose garden, tend to the orchard, mow, pay utilities, and pay property tax. Monetary compensation has never been an issue. I don't pay enough, so I sneak money in to pay bills. This is the part I'm struggling with.
Due to medical attention shared with Michael J Fox, it's getting bad. Resentment on me taking over responsibilities are likely the most significant break on our relationship. She commands her ex husband, my godfather, to do chores I am very equipped to do. She cleans kitchen supplies when I beg her not to. And without a cane or a walker.
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The TLDR: I don't want to kill my mom. Full stop. She has agency, yes, but it's gone so far down in the last four years I'm struggling for what to do.
It's not about me. But yeah, I've read about end of life signals. And it's basically all of them, fall risks while refusing an arm and a cane and a pride I don't recognize. Heh, I guess that runs on the family. But she saw my own health downfalls for a decade. I can't understand why she can't believe me when I warn her she is gonna fall. But I don't have interior cameras.
I am the one with the cerebellum TBI. And I can't fathom what is going on. And for the love of God I don't want to make it worse.
What should I, and should not do?