u/BeigeAnxietyEngine

Fell in love with an underage girl

23M, Melbourne. This is embarrassing to post but I genuinely have no one else to talk to about this...cause everyone i know will judge me

Met a girl at a climbing club Christmas meetup late last year. We clicked immediately, like proper clicked...spent the whole evening talking, exchanged numbers. At some point that evening age came up casually while talking about younger people being better climber these days than older gen and she said she wasn't that young and she was 20. I had zero reason to doubt her, we were at a members event, everyone there was an adult. We started meeting up regularly for bouldering after that and a few weeks in I asked her out properly. She literally said she was waiting for me to ask.

She works at Sephora, seemed confident, independent, mature. Nothing about her read teenager.

Last week she sat me down and told me she turned 17 in February. We've been dating since April. I thought she was taking the piss. She pulled out her red P's and showed me her DOB and I swear my stomach dropped. I genuinely thought I was going to jail. Like I was spiralling so bad I had thoughts I'm not proud of.

She stayed calm and told me the age of consent in VIC is 16. I looked it up right there. She was right.

I still ended it. Partly the age gap, partly because she didn't just omit her age..she actively told me she was 20. She said she knew I'd have walked away otherwise and didn't want to lose me before I even gave her a chance. I get it but... that's a deliberate lie. That sits differently.

We met at a cafe to say goodbye yesterday and I was an absolute mess. She held it together better than I did which somehow made it worse.

I just finished uni, just started my career, this was the first real connection I've had since moving to Melbourne and now it's just... gone.

Fyi we never had sex. I'm a virgin and she said she is too. It's been a week and I desperately miss her but I know it's wrong even though it's technically legal here. But 7 years age gap is too much.

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u/BeigeAnxietyEngine — 6 days ago

I'm ruining my life & I can't stop!

Extreme porn addict. Jerk off multiple times a day. Addicted to looking at escorts/massage sites and going to brothels multiple times a month. Spending unnecessarily and money that I absolutely need. Worst part of it is - I've got a wonderful family and a toddler. I always thought having a baby would make me stop but I'm writing this right now at 1.49am Melbourne time at night - post nut clarity - after visiting a brothel and having the worst regret and that is after having masturbated earlier in the day.

Im just 35 and can't get hard if the porn content isn't extreme. I know I cannot recover from this.

I don't even enjoy porn. It's just something I do. Am I coping? Am I running away from something? All i know is I've been in this loop for more than a decade and I KNOW I CAN'T ESCAPE.

What do I do? How do I get help? PLEASE HELP ME! I BEG YOU ALL 🙏

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u/BeigeAnxietyEngine — 21 days ago