(23F) for getting upset when my boyfriend (25M) keeps bringing up cancer every time I smoke?
I'm 23F and my boyfriend is 25M. I started smoking about two years ago during a very stressful semester, and I’ve been trying to quit. I’ve attempted to quit around four times so far.
My boyfriend keeps bringing up cancer every single time I go to smoke a cigarette and sometimes goes into long lectures about the health risks. I understand smoking is unhealthy and I already know the risks, so it doesn’t feel helpful to hear it repeatedly. I’ve explained to him multiple times that this approach doesn’t motivate me it just makes me feel more ashamed, more overwhelmed, and sometimes I end up crying or getting really upset.
What hurts most is that he continues doing it even after I’ve clearly told him it affects me emotionally, especially since it can trigger intrusive thoughts and make me panic more about my health.
He vapes, and I used to only smoke cigarettes socially. He was okay with that at first, but when my dependency increased, he understandably didn’t like it and obviously I didn't too I felt like I was loosing control. I asked him how he would feel if I constantly brought up things like “popcorn lung” every five minutes he vaped, but he says cigarettes are worse and not comparable and that he would prefer that I vape instead of smoking cigarettes.