u/Beneficial-Owl-9786

How do you talk to your partner about finances without sounding ungrateful?

I’m currently pregnant, and lately sobrang conflicted ako emotionally about our financial situation.

My partner got a new job this January after ma-lay off ng previous client niya last year. Honestly, sobrang hirap ng naging year niya financially. Wala siyang source of income for months, and minsan no choice talaga kundi mag-loan just to survive and keep up with bills.

Now that he finally has work again, halos napupunta yung salary niya sa pagbabayad ng mga loans na yun and sustain our everyday needs.

As for me, breadwinner din ako sa family ko. Tapos nung nabuntis ako, mas lalo naging rough financially. My doctor advised me to stop working and mag bed rest muna until manganak because madalas sumakit at manigas puson ko due to stress and work.

So since April, wala na akong income at all. What makes me anxious is that before all of this, ang plano ko talaga was to spend these months saving up for the baby, preparing for labor, emergency funds, and all. Pero ngayon May na and ni piso wala pa kaming ipon and wala akong naririnig from him anong plano niya kahit kapag tinatanong ko siya kailan kami mag start mag buy pa unti-unti ng mga kakailanganin ng bata.

I’ve been trying not to stress myself kasi may around 3 and a half months pa before dumating si baby, pero honestly I think I’m starting to feel disappointed… and guilty for even feeling that way.

Because at the same time, naaappreciate ko naman siya. Siya lahat sumasalo ngayon — bills, food, everyday expenses namin, pati needs ko and ng baby. I know that’s a huge responsibility.

I think yung frustration ko is more on the fact na parang okay lang sa kanya na nasa survival mode kami, while ako mentally nagpapanic na about the future.

He works as a VA and earns around 65k/month. Ang workload niya ngayon honestly sobrang gaan compared before, minsan around 1 hour tapos na siya sa work for the day. And maybe dito nanggagaling disappointment ko — I was hoping na baka gamitin niya yung extra time to look for another client or kahit part-time lang so we could start preparing financially for the baby instead of surviving month to month.

Meanwhile, here I am still trying to look for WFH jobs kahit naka-LOA ako sa current company ko because I genuinely cannot relax knowing how expensive childbirth and pagpapalaki ng baby is.

I don’t know if I’m expecting too much from him or if anxiety lang talaga to because of pregnancy and financial stress.

I feel bad because I know he’s trying his best after such a difficult year. Pero at the same time, pagod na rin ako sa feeling na parang one emergency away kami from financial stress. I know he’s stress about it too na mapunan yung need namin mag-ina everyday. Pero i want him to do more about it.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of resentment + guilt combo in a relationship? How do you guys discuss this with your partner? Siya lang kasi humahawak ng pera niya eh so wala akong control magtabi ron.

Hello, question lang po as a FTM.

Ang estimated due date ko po kasi will be on Aug 31 pa. But due to threatend high risk, pinaglileave na ako ng doctor.

Bali question lang po? Bali pag nag file ako ng mat leave kasi hanggang August lang sya which is bagong panganak lang ako or baka hindi pa ako nanganganak ubos na mat leave ko. Kaya I was planning na idaan sa sick leave.

Naguguluhan lang po ako if ano dapat mauna kong i-file w my employer. Sabay ba? Or may mauuna hahaha? At if mat leave una kong gagamitin kailan ako dapat mag file ng SSS sickness? (Ubos na po SL credits ko)

Hello pa-rant lang. Hindi ko kasi alam if dala ba ‘to ng hormonal changes due to pregnancy hahaha.

I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant and breadwinner din ng family ko. Yung partner ko naman kakastart lang ulit mag work nitong January after mawalan ng work for 3 months last year.

So heto na nga. I work as a customer service rep sa US bank account, and ever since nabuntis ako halos every other week ako napapa-absent. From January to April wala akong nabuo halos na maayos na month kasi medyo maselan pregnancy ko. Then nitong last week ng April, buong week naninigas at naghihilab puson ko every time nasa work ako. Nadugo rin ako mid-April.

As per my doctor, malaking factor daw talaga yung stress sa work. WHICH IS SOBRANG HIRAP I-CONTROL 😭 Imagine taking 70+ calls everyday tapos halos walang araw na walang galit na customer HAHAHA. Gets ko naman sila kasi pera nila yun, pero syempre stressful pa rin bilang buntis.

Naiistress din ako sa manager ko kasi ilang beses niya na ako tinatanong kung magma-maternity leave na raw ba ako kahit September pa due date ko. Take note, January pa lang sinasuggest niya na yun dahil sa absences ko. Alam ko naman affected numbers niya, pero di ko rin naman ginusto mag absent 😭 Like hello, sino bang may gustong mawalan ng sahod at masira attendance.

Eventually, my doctor advised me to rest for a month nung April and suggested if gusto ko na mag mat leave since naeexperience halos lahat ng symptoms ko kada nasa work ako. Pero yung partner ko thinks it’s too early for maternity leave kasi baka raw maubos agad 105 days ko bago pa ako manganak dahil September ba EDD ko.

I asked my manager naman if possible ma-extend yung leave if ever mapapaaga maternity leave ko, and sabi naman pwede as long as may supporting documents.

Then kakabalik ko lang ulit sa OB ko last week after my bed rest, and tinanong niya ako if gusto ko na raw ba mat leave until manganak kasi gusto niya maiwasan yung possibility ng preterm labor. Aside sa stress sa work, factor din daw yung byahe at lakad ko onsite.

When my doctor asked me if gusto ko na mag-maternity leave, tinanong ko partner ko kung itutuloy ko na ba. Sabi niya ako raw bahala kasi ako nakakaramdam ng symptoms.

And honestly? Gustong gusto ko na talaga. Gusto kong maenjoy yung pregnancy ko and i-prioritize yung health namin ni baby.

It’s just that, iniisip ko lang din yung pera kasi for sure maeextend yung leave ko after manganak and unpaid na yun probably 2 months unpaid. Pero alam kong once bumalik ako sa work ngayon, maninigas at maninigas ulit puson ko dahil sobrang stressful ng account namin. Tapos wala namang ibang gagawa ng household chores kundi ako rin 😭 Imagine onsite work + byahe + buntis + gawaing bahay after shift??? HAHAHA. Unless sabihan ko partner ko anong gagawin niya since hindi sya marunong magkusa sa gawaing bahay.

Minsan iniisip ko mas okay pa tumira muna sa parents ko kasi literal na aalagaan nila ako at wala akong gagawing chores, though mas malala lang byahe papasok dahil ang tarik ng hagdan sa edsa MRT LOL.

Kaya siguro nung second time ko tumingin sa partner ko, gusto ko lang marinig from him yung:
“Mag leave ka na. Prioritize mo health mo at ni baby. Gagawan natin paraan.”

Pero ang nasabi niya:
“Masyado pang maaga. 105 days lang maternity leave. Pag nanganak ka na wala ka nang bayad.” “Pano na after ka manganak unpaid na yun”

And idk 😭 Sobrang nasaktan ako doon. Parang sobrang lonely nitong pregnancy journey ko tuloy.

During my bed rest naghahanap hanap na rin ako ng WFH/VA jobs para sana mapush ko na mag leave nang hindi ko iniisip yung pera. Kasi gusto ko rin naman may sarili pa rin akong income kahit papaano.

My mom keeps telling me na mag leave na raw ako at unahin si baby kasi yung loans at bills mababayaran naman eventually, pero yung baby at pregnancy ko once in a lifetime lang daw.

And honestly? Ang comforting pakinggan nun 😭

Wala lang. I feel so guilty na makaramdam ng disappointment sa partner ko for wanting me to still go to work despite na ilang beses ako umiinda na ganto ganyan during my bed rest, and he knows how stressful my work is at yung pagod sa byahe. Pero at the same time, gets ko naman eh. He’s thinking about the money. Pressured siya as a provider since wala pa kaming ipon at alam niyang marami rin akong bayarin. Pero alam mo yun? Na sana “Gawan nalang natin ng paraan basta prioritize mo health mo at si baby” “I’ll find a second job since sobrang gaan lang naman ng current work ko” would make it better siguro. Konting sacrifice pa sana on his side while i’m dealing with this.

Ewan ko ba 😭 Feeling ko tuloy iniinvalidate ko sarili kong feelings or baka nag iinarte lang ako at dapat maging mas logical lang ako hahaha.

Kayo ba? How would you guys handle this? Just wanna hear your thoughts.

Hello pa-rant lang. Hindi ko kasi alam if dala ba ‘to ng hormonal changes due to pregnancy hahaha.

I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant and breadwinner din ng family ko. Yung partner ko naman kakastart lang ulit mag work nitong January after mawalan ng work for 3 months last year.

So heto na nga. I work as a customer service rep sa US bank account, and ever since nabuntis ako halos every other week ako napapa-absent. From January to April wala akong nabuo halos na maayos na month kasi medyo maselan pregnancy ko. Then nitong last week ng April, buong week naninigas at naghihilab puson ko every time nasa work ako. Nadugo rin ako mid-April.

As per my doctor, malaking factor daw talaga yung stress sa work. WHICH IS SOBRANG HIRAP I-CONTROL 😭 Imagine taking 70+ calls everyday tapos halos walang araw na walang galit na customer HAHAHA. Gets ko naman sila kasi pera nila yun, pero syempre stressful pa rin bilang buntis.

Naiistress din ako sa manager ko kasi ilang beses niya na ako tinatanong kung magma-maternity leave na raw ba ako kahit September pa due date ko. Take note, January pa lang sinasuggest niya na yun dahil sa absences ko. Alam ko naman affected numbers niya, pero di ko rin naman ginusto mag absent 😭 Like hello, sino bang may gustong mawalan ng sahod at masira attendance.

Eventually, my doctor advised me to rest for a month nung April and suggested if gusto ko na mag mat leave since naeexperience halos lahat ng symptoms ko kada nasa work ako. Pero yung partner ko thinks it’s too early for maternity leave kasi baka raw maubos agad 105 days ko bago pa ako manganak dahil September ba EDD ko.

I asked my manager naman if possible ma-extend yung leave if ever mapapaaga maternity leave ko, and sabi naman pwede as long as may supporting documents.

Then kakabalik ko lang ulit sa OB ko last week after my bed rest, and tinanong niya ako if gusto ko na raw ba mat leave until manganak kasi gusto niya maiwasan yung possibility ng preterm labor. Aside sa stress sa work, factor din daw yung byahe at lakad ko onsite.

When my doctor asked me if gusto ko na mag-maternity leave, tinanong ko partner ko kung itutuloy ko na ba. Sabi niya ako raw bahala kasi ako nakakaramdam ng symptoms.

And honestly? Gustong gusto ko na talaga. Gusto kong maenjoy yung pregnancy ko and i-prioritize yung health namin ni baby.

It’s just that, iniisip ko lang din yung pera kasi for sure maeextend yung leave ko after manganak and unpaid na yun probably 2 months unpaid. Pero alam kong once bumalik ako sa work ngayon, maninigas at maninigas ulit puson ko dahil sobrang stressful ng account namin. Tapos wala namang ibang gagawa ng household chores kundi ako rin 😭 Imagine onsite work + byahe + buntis + gawaing bahay after shift??? HAHAHA. Unless sabihan ko partner ko anong gagawin niya since hindi sya marunong magkusa sa gawaing bahay.

Minsan iniisip ko mas okay pa tumira muna sa parents ko kasi literal na aalagaan nila ako at wala akong gagawing chores, though mas malala lang byahe papasok dahil ang tarik ng hagdan sa edsa MRT LOL.

Kaya siguro nung second time ko tumingin sa partner ko, gusto ko lang marinig from him yung:
“Mag leave ka na. Prioritize mo health mo at ni baby. Gagawan natin paraan.”

Pero ang nasabi niya:
“Masyado pang maaga. 105 days lang maternity leave. Pag nanganak ka na wala ka nang bayad.” “Pano na after ka manganak unpaid na yun”

And idk 😭 Sobrang nasaktan ako doon. Parang sobrang lonely nitong pregnancy journey ko tuloy.

During my bed rest naghahanap hanap na rin ako ng WFH/VA jobs para sana mapush ko na mag leave nang hindi ko iniisip yung pera. Kasi gusto ko rin naman may sarili pa rin akong income kahit papaano.

My mom keeps telling me na mag leave na raw ako at unahin si baby kasi yung loans at bills mababayaran naman eventually, pero yung baby at pregnancy ko once in a lifetime lang daw.

And honestly? Ang comforting pakinggan nun 😭

Wala lang. I feel so guilty na makaramdam ng disappointment sa partner ko for wanting me to still go to work despite na ilang beses ako umiinda na ganto ganyan during my bed rest, and he knows how stressful my work is at yung pagod sa byahe. Pero at the same time, gets ko naman eh. He’s thinking about the money. Pressured siya as a provider since wala pa kaming ipon at alam niyang marami rin akong bayarin. Pero alam mo yun? Na sana “Gawan nalang natin ng paraan basta prioritize mo health mo at si baby” “I’ll find a second job since sobrang gaan lang naman ng current work ko” would make it better siguro. Konting sacrifice pa sana on his side while i’m dealing with this.

Ewan ko ba 😭 Feeling ko tuloy iniinvalidate ko sarili kong feelings or baka nag iinarte lang ako at dapat maging mas logical lang ako hahaha.

Kayo ba? How would you guys handle this? Just wanna hear your thoughts.