u/BeneficialMuffin9014

My girlfriend has depression and most of the time it's managed quite well. One thing I've noticed about her though is that she seems to weaponise her illness to get her own way or to cancel plans for things I've chosen for us.

Some minor examples are when we'll be sat at home on an evening and I'll suggest something for us to do or for us to watch and she'll immediately say she's not feeling great and that she wants to do something else instead. If I say I don't want to do what she suggests then she'll just go quiet and refuse to do anything else.

Some bigger examples are when we have plans for things I've chosen, she'll either cancel last minute saying she feels low or we'll get there and she'll want to leave pretty much straight away. This has not happened once with things she chooses to do.

Another example is that we were at my nephews wedding at the weekend and things were going fine, she kept asking if we could sit somewhere quieter instead of with a large group of my family.

I pointed out we weren't there to just sit in a corner and I want to actually talk to my family. After about an hour she said she wasn't feeling great so we'd have to go. The next day she refused to talk about it but I just told her it really looks like she's weaponising her depression to get out of anything that she specifically hasn't chosen to do.

She said I was being too harsh but I just pointed out that she's regularly using the excuse of feeling low to get her own way and that she ruined the previous night by complaining for the entire time we were there then leaving early just because it wasn't her family.

She said again I was being cruel but I just pointed out she needs to stop using her illness as an excuse to always get her own way and said she's acting like a child.

AIW for telling her to stop weaponising her depression

My girlfriend and I live together and we split the chores evenly. For most of them we have set chores we do then for things like doing the dishes we take it it’ll turns so I’ll do one day and she’ll do the next.

There have been times when she’s been feeling low or feeling ill and has asked me to do the dishes for her and I have. This week I burnt my hand and it is now bandaged. I can’t get the bandages wet and my hand I’m in pain whenever I move my hand, especially when I bend my fingers due to the location of the burn.

The doctor has said I’ll have the bandages on for two weeks. I asked my gf if she could do the dishes until the bandages are off since I’m not able to do them. She said I should look for a way I can still do them and ghat I shouldn’t be expecting her to do them for two weeks.

I pointed out I can hardly help not being able to use my hand and said it wasn’t much I was asking for but she just said she shouldn’t have to do them for weeks. I said partners are supposed to support each other and mentioned I’ve done the same for her multiple times but she just said I was guilt tripping her. I mentioned that she’s acting selfish and should want to help me.

AITA for expecting help?

My girlfriend has recently decided to cut down on how much alcohol she drinks. It's not because she has a problem it's just because she wants to be healthier. She has stopped drinking at home and will only drink when we go out for a meal or an event or just ot a bar.

She mentioned to me she thinks I should also do it. I mentioned that I barely drink at home anyway. I don't drink throughout the week and if we're not going out on the weekend, I'll probably drink on average of every other weekend.

If I drink at home I'll either have 2-3 cans or a couple of rum and cokes. I pointed this out to her and said I don't want to cut that out as I like relaxing on an evening on a weekend with a few drinks every now and then. She said I am not being supportive but I pointed out support doesn't equal me copying her changes.

I said I am not drinking in excess, rarely actually get drunk and only drink a couple of times a month at home. She said again she thinks I should also quit drinking at home but I refused. She said I'm unsupportive and should be listening to her but I mentioned I am listening to her and I'm explaining why I won't be making the same changes.

AITA for refusing to cut down how much I drink?

My girlfriend has recently decided to cut down on how much alcohol she drinks. It's not because she has a problem it's just because she wants to be healthier. She has stopped drinking at home and will only drink when we go out for a meal or an event or just ot a bar.

She mentioned to me she thinks I should also do it. I mentioned that I barely drink at home anyway. I don't drink throughout the week and if we're not going out on the weekend, I'll probably drink on average of every other weekend.

If I drink at home I'll either have 2-3 cans or a couple of rum and cokes. I pointed this out to her and said I don't want to cut that out as I like relaxing on an evening on a weekend with a few drinks every now and then. She said I am not being supportive but I pointed out support doesn't equal me copying her changes.

I said I am not drinking in excess, rarely actually get drunk and only drink a couple of times a month at home. She said again she thinks I should also quit drinking at home but I refused. She said I'm unsupportive and should be listening to her but I mentioned I am listening to her and I'm explaining why I won't be making the same changes.

AITA for refusing to cut down how much I drink?