u/Beneficial_Ad_1631

I'm currently 16 years old and i'm still haunted by this man, i cvt myself out of it, i'm afraid he might do something against me, I feel like everything abt me just changed since i knew him.

So basically there was this guy named Ilyan but he made me think he's called moula for some reason, that i met on insta when i was 14 and at a very low point in my life, he's just 3 years older than me. He used to sexually harass me everyday and call it ''a joke'', and when id say i'm uncomfortable with that he'd guilt trip me and act like i'm overreacting, and i couldn't just stop talking to him bc well i was lonely and there was dependence and manipulation in our relationship.Not only that, but he used to insist for me to say sexual stuff to him which i also felt uncomfortable saying. Well we were ''friends'' but he'd treat me like his gf. I talked to him for over a year, LITTERALLY EVERYDAY, he was always there for me, he'd reply fast, he looked like he cared about me and how i felt unlike my parents, but just like he could treat me so well, he could treat me so bad. He used to get overly angry really easily, make me apologize for nothing, put me down, guilt trip me, use my insecurities against me, humiliate me, just to end up apologizing and acting like he felt guilty for all he did, but that wouldn't change the fact it kept on hurting me again and again. If i dared to ignore him in those moments, he'd harass me and start talking abt how he hated himself, abt suicide urges/intents, abt how much of a shitty person he feels like, and if i kept ignoring him he'd get angry again and guilt trip me. As time passed, he'd get worse and worse, his life always seemed to be so horrible, he seemed so miserable, and apparently i was SO important to him, yet he'd keep on trying to make me feel less important to him sometimes, talking to me abt how much he loves the people he knows irl more than me just to see me get jealous, he used to disrespect me more and more, but also, he got me into a group chat where i made a lot of friends, but then seemed to try to isolate me from them which he couldn't. At some point, i told him that his ''anger issues'' towards me were getting really hard to deal with especially with my poor mental health and that even tho i had nothing against him i had to block him if this got too far, and he said he understands. Well, one day, i finally decided to block him, and he started telling all my gc friends to tell me to unblock him, to the point i had to write an ig note saying ''if moula tells u to tell me to unblock him tell him no'' then he texted me from the account of someone else begging me to unblock him, but i didn't. I was done. So I blocked that account too. Just after that, one of his friends started becoming friends with me, she was extremely clingy for some reason and was okay with the fact i blocked him, saying she understands my decision and sometimes hesitates to do the same. She just had 14 while i was 15 almost 16, at this time I still didn't realize that man was actually BAD and wasn't just an immature man. Days passed and i missed him, felt kinda bad but still free from him. But then, his friend told me he planned to off himself bc of me. She then started blaming me and saying i shouldn't have blocked him at that time apparently bc he was at a very low point but i just ignored her and decided to unblock him and text him... Yeah. But not to become friends again, but i wanted to convince him not to do that. Apparently he wanted to end it and didn't want anyone to prevent him from doing so, but still he told two of his other friends in the gc who were ALSO my friends, still blaming me, so when i texted him he started telling me it's all consequences of my actions and my fault, i kept on talking to him for HOURS, when i finally gave up, i panicked, and then felt guilty, and then angry...i really thought i was potentially the cause of someone's death, i couldn't sleep,but i then realized it wouldn't be my fault if he did it, and that these two were crazy for blaming ME for that. Guess what !! He didn't end up doing it. He ''apologized'' for blaming me, but that's just a way of acting like a good person i believe. Two months passed, and more people in the gc talked bad abt him, saying he's fake and a hypocrite, a liar, and i also heard from a guy that another girl was sexually harassed by him... And that's how i realized EVERYTHING i've been a victim of during all that time. I then decided to tell EVERYONE in the gc abt everything he's done to me, no matter how painful that was. Fortunately, everyone took me seriously, and i heard that the girl i was friends with was sort of one of his fake accounts? Well not exactly, but no one really understood what she was exactly. Really weird. They didn't have to kick him out of the gc too bc he already left, but yeah. I had a really hard time dealing with that, I started developing hypersexuality, and had a period where i was REALLY addicted to sh, more than usual, i wanted to take revenge, i've had an obsession with that story, i wanted to talk to him again even tho i hated him, and when i think i finally got over all that trauma, it plays in my head over and over again. I felt so stupid and disgusting. I really hope i can get over that one day.

If you know someone who acts in a similar way than my groomer, you should really consider the possibility that they're not a good person. Keep yourself safe

I hate my mom