u/Beneficial_Cup6795

Long story short, I was in a same sex marriage. My wife and I decided to start our family 4 years after dating, and 2 months after marriage. We had also planned our move from the US to Mexico to give our son a different way of life. She got pregnant first try with a donor and was so excited to be a mom and start our family. But it had hardships, she would not stop smoking excessive marijuana to get pregnant, she took LSD behind my back while pregnant, even though she was done with all of this long before her pregnancy. It was a nightmare. Now to the birth, the day out son was born, she did amazing, natural birth. But an hour after he was born her concern was going home in time to watch a football game! It only got worse from here, she started drinking, using drugs, disappearing for hours when he was only a few months old. Then when he was 6 months old I decided it was in our best interest to seperate for his safety. It was so hard being a single mom in a new country, and she moved back to the US. She started partying and never even asked me about our son, until he was about a year old, when she heard I had a new partner. Then she made it clear she did not want someone else in her sons life and she came for a visit. I had to pay for this visit to Mexico and all she did was drink and smoke the entire time. She was manic and barely paid attention to him. He is now almost 3, I am remarried and he has a wonderful second mother who has provided for him financially, emotionally and physically. My x wife has never helped when I have asked for it, she says LOVE IS WHAT SHE HAS TO OFFER. She asks me for pictures and videos many times a week however. But does not acknowledge his birthday or Christmas. She is now doing above average financially and we live on a small budget. She only wants to see him if I bring him to the US and pay for everything, or he can stay nights alone with her if she visits Mexico. He does not know her and has never been away from me. We try and setup video calls, but she misses almost everyone of them. I am just so angry and disapointed that she chose not to be apart of this amazing boys life. I have so much resentment towards her, nothing I can do to make me understand. The only time she says she "misses" him is on certain visits with her family and they guilt her, or every mothers day she said she does not deserve this. I have agreed to allow her in his life, do visitations slowly. But it is not her priority ever, as she has seen him two times since he was 6 months old. I don't know how I am going to explain this to him someday, I don't want to see his heart broken and plan to work with a therapist. But I am wondering what can make a person do this? What can make them completely abandon a child they birthed? I have a really hard side seeing her point of view.

Long story short, I was in a same sex marriage. My wife and I decided to start our family 4 years after dating, and 2 months after marriage. We had also planned our move from the US to Mexico to give our son a different way of life. She got pregnant first try with a donor and was so excited to be a mom and start our family. But it had hardships, she would not stop smoking excessive marijuana to get pregnant, she took LSD behind my back while pregnant, even though she was done with all of this long before her pregnancy. It was a nightmare. Now to the birth, the day out son was born, she did amazing, natural birth. But an hour after he was born her concern was going home in time to watch a football game! It only got worse from here, she started drinking, using drugs, disappearing for hours when he was only a few months old. Then when he was 6 months old I decided it was in our best interest to seperate for his safety. It was so hard being a single mom in a new country, and she moved back to the US. She started partying and never even asked me about our son, until he was about a year old, when she heard I had a new partner. Then she made it clear she did not want someone else in her sons life and she came for a visit. I had to pay for this visit to Mexico and all she did was drink and smoke the entire time. She was manic and barely paid attention to him. He is now almost 3, I am remarried and he has a wonderful second mother who has provided for him financially, emotionally and physically. My x wife has never helped when I have asked for it, she says LOVE IS WHAT SHE HAS TO OFFER. She asks me for pictures and videos many times a week however. But does not acknowledge his birthday or Christmas. She is now doing above average financially and we live on a small budget. She only wants to see him if I bring him to the US and pay for everything, or he can stay nights alone with her if she visits Mexico. He does not know her and has never been away from me. We try and setup video calls, but she misses almost everyone of them. I am just so angry and disapointed that she chose not to be apart of this amazing boys life. I have so much resentment towards her, nothing I can do to make me understand. The only time she says she "misses" him is on certain visits with her family and they guilt her, or every mothers day she said she does not deserve this. I have agreed to allow her in his life, do visitations slowly. But it is not her priority ever, as she has seen him two times since he was 6 months old. I don't know how I am going to explain this to him someday, I don't want to see his heart broken and plan to work with a therapist. But I am wondering what can make a person do this? What can make them completely abandon a child they birthed? I have a really hard side seeing her point of view.