▲ 3 r/offmychest
F25 Filipino, apparently I have no self-respect as per my parents because I'm going to see my boyfriend after he got back from a month-long vacation
FOR CONTEXT IM ASIAN (FILIPINO)
I'm 25F and already working, but I still can't afford to move out because almost all of my savings go toward paying for my younger sibling's college education. My parents (both 51) have been unemployed and financially dependent on my grandparents for over 10 years. The only money coming into my parent's is my dead great-grandfather's pension. So please don't ask me to move out—I simply can't afford it yet, and I love my sibling too much to leave him alone in such a toxic household.
On June 6, my boyfriend (25M) and his older brother flew to Hong Kong to visit their parents, who both work there as Overseas Filipino Workers. He stayed there for almost a month and is arriving home at 2 a.m. on July 3 which is like a few hours from now.
Our original plan was for me to sleep over at his house on July 2 so I could welcome him home in the middle of the night, but my parents refused because we're not married. So instead, I told them I'd just go to his house around 7 a.m. My boyfriend works from home, and he'll be logging in for work at 9 a.m. right after getting home. I also work from home, but my shift doesn't start until 5 p.m. My plan was simply to stay with him, help him unpack, and spend time together while he worked. After not seeing each other for an entire month, I just wanted us to finally have some quality time together.
Instead, both of my parents told me, "You're a woman. You have no self-respect."
They insisted that he should be the one coming to see me, not the other way around—especially not that early in the morning. I explained that he has work at 9 a.m., but they kept saying he could just come over after work instead. According to them, I'm being "too aggressive" by going to his place first. They said if I really missed him, then he probably missed me too, so I should just wait and let him make the first move.
What the fuck u mean first move he's already my boyfriend.
They made it sound like I had no dignity because I was the one going over to his house and planning to stay there for the day. The whole thing felt so outdated and ridiculous.
We haven't seen each other in a month. We both work from home, so we can spend the day together without either of us sacrificing work. It's not some moral issue and suddenly i am judged as a woman.
My boyfriend gets along well with my family. Our relationship is public, we've been together for almost two years, and there has never been any issue before.
Yet somehow they acted like I was shameless or "cheap" just because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my boyfriend after being apart for a month.
To make it worse, they even said, "He was just on vacation anyway, not working. You two talked on the phone every day."
I'm 25 years old. I have a job. I'm capable of making my own decisions. Yet they make me feel like I'm some disrespectful woman simply because I don't want to wait several more days before seeing my own boyfriend.
Just needed to vent because I'm honestly so frustrated. I just want to spend time with my boyfriend without being made to feel dirty, desperate, or cheap for it.
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I haven't seen each other for a month. He gets home at 2 a.m., works from home starting at 9 a.m., and I was planning to go to his house at 7 a.m. and stay until I start my own WFH shift at 5 p.m. My parents told me that because I'm a woman, going to him instead of waiting for him to come to me means I have no self-respect.
u/Berrycakesss9 — 4 days ago
F25 Filo, apparently I have no self-respect as per my parents because I'm going to see my boyfriend after he got back from a month-long vacation
FOR CONTEXT IM ASIAN (FILIPINO)
I'm 25F and already working, but I still can't afford to move out because almost all of my savings go toward paying for my younger sibling's college education. My parents (both 51) have been unemployed and financially dependent on my grandparents for over 10 years. The only money coming into my parent's is my dead great-grandfather's pension. So please don't ask me to move out—I simply can't afford it yet, and I love my sibling too much to leave him alone in such a toxic household.
On June 6, my boyfriend (25M) and his older brother flew to Hong Kong to visit their parents, who both work there as Overseas Filipino Workers. He stayed there for almost a month and is arriving home at 2 a.m. on July 3 which is like a few hours from now.
Our original plan was for me to sleep over at his house on July 2 so I could welcome him home in the middle of the night, but my parents refused because we're not married. So instead, I told them I'd just go to his house around 7 a.m. My boyfriend works from home, and he'll be logging in for work at 9 a.m. right after getting home. I also work from home, but my shift doesn't start until 5 p.m. My plan was simply to stay with him, help him unpack, and spend time together while he worked. After not seeing each other for an entire month, I just wanted us to finally have some quality time together.
Instead, both of my parents told me, "You're a woman. You have no self-respect."
They insisted that he should be the one coming to see me, not the other way around—especially not that early in the morning. I explained that he has work at 9 a.m., but they kept saying he could just come over after work instead. According to them, I'm being "too aggressive" by going to his place first. They said if I really missed him, then he probably missed me too, so I should just wait and let him make the first move.
What the fuck u mean first move he's already my boyfriend.
They made it sound like I had no dignity because I was the one going over to his house and planning to stay there for the day. The whole thing felt so outdated and ridiculous.
We haven't seen each other in a month. We both work from home, so we can spend the day together without either of us sacrificing work. It's not some moral issue and suddenly i am judged as a woman.
My boyfriend gets along well with my family. Our relationship is public, we've been together for almost two years, and there has never been any issue before.
Yet somehow they acted like I was shameless or "cheap" just because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with my boyfriend after being apart for a month.
To make it worse, they even said, "He was just on vacation anyway, not working. You two talked on the phone every day."
I'm 25 years old. I have a job. I'm capable of making my own decisions. Yet they make me feel like I'm some disrespectful woman simply because I don't want to wait several more days before seeing my own boyfriend.
Just needed to vent because I'm honestly so frustrated. I just want to spend time with my boyfriend without being made to feel dirty, desperate, or cheap for it.
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I haven't seen each other for a month. He gets home at 2 a.m., works from home starting at 9 a.m., and I was planning to go to his house at 7 a.m. and stay until I start my own WFH shift at 5 p.m. My parents told me that because I'm a woman, going to him instead of waiting for him to come to me means I have no self-respect.
u/Berrycakesss9 — 4 days ago