u/BetaCellBandit

⚠️CW (talk of symptoms)⚠️

I wasn’t sure where to put this, originally it was a disability one bc of the mentions of other things but i don’t have enough to post in there 💀

Very sorry in advance for the long post!

Me and my boyfriend have a long history, we had an incident happen when we were 12 and my mum made a whole thing out of it and his mum hated me and my mum, at the time it was valid. Fast forward 5/6 years and we get together again, it’s going good we’ve been together about a year and half now we are both very very happy. His mum is aware i have medical issues, i’ve been type one diabetic for 15 years of my life, i have hEDS and have since i was 9, I’ve had tics since i was 12/13 and i’m now being investigated for FND, we have spoken about my issues many many times and my boyfriend is a big part of my support system and she’s also aware of this.

The thing that kicked this off was i had a seizure in front of his mum and nan and then couldn’t walk, i had been at his for a week while he was away on a job and i was looking after his dog and helping out, it was a good week, i had a bit of trouble with my blood sugars and had 2 seizures that week, she did not know this, i live with my grandma and she doesn’t believe it’s real and i have a hard time telling people things especially if it’s something that could disrupt their lives, at the time he’d been back for a week and i went with him to college with his mum, and had a few tics throughout the day but was mainly okay, we then watched him and his friend kart and was standing for 30+ minutes so i was in pain, i knew id have a seizure that day i was praying it wasn’t in the car, or while we were out. So we go home and his nan is there and we’re all talking and I’m like huh i don’t feel great and my legs feel funny, i then pass out and have a seizure, in front of his family, its quite a big one and my seizures tend to look like epileptic seizures (they are not i have been tested for epilepsy) i come out of my seizure and my boyfriend is looking over at me and smiles when i open my eyes, i smile back and say a happy ‘yeah!’ when he asked if i was okay, i thought this was all fine, he helped me up the stairs and the next day i go home.

I come back a few days ago and he’s in the kitchen with me while his mum is picking his little sister up and just goes ‘my mum and nan think yours holding me back, because you have seizures and stuff’ i was shocked, like completely utterly shocked. He goes on to say that’s what his nan said at first and his mum agreed and when they were in the car going to the tip she said ‘well they aren’t epileptic she wasn’t groggy coming out and there’s a pattern’ my boyfriend was very confused and told her that they aren’t epileptic and how is there a pattern? She then goes ‘well the day was about you and well you know’ I tried so hard to not break down completely, this woman knows they aren’t epileptic, she knows i struggle with my family believing me and that i feel so alone, and she knows that i love her son more than anything and if i was in the way of him i wouldn’t hesitate to do what’s best for him. She told him she was worried that when we go away this month to see a race that he won’t enjoy himself and will just be worrying about me and my medical issues. To say i was shocked is an understatement honestly, my boyfriend was not impressed when she said this and ended the conversation quickly. I am glad he told me but i am incredibly upset and i honestly don’t know what to do.

We both finish college in June and he’s hopefully moving out after but he might not be able to. He’s so understanding with everything and i told him i was upset and he said that he doesn’t care what they think, it’s our relationship and he knew what he was getting into when he asked me out again. He said i should just talk to her but she’s a very very confrontational person and I’m really not, she’s also incredibly opinionated and there’s already so many things we don’t agree on, I’m debating not coming over again for a while until i know how to handle the situation but i know that means i wont see him. He is able to come over to mine but not ver often because his mum kicks off if she needs to look after his dog for a day or two, so me coming over to his is just easier.

I’ve always felt some sort of uncomfortable around his family and i never knew if it was because of my issues or if it was because of what happened when we were 12, i always put it down to my issues because why would they have an issue with me now I’m an adult and it very clearly wasn’t what it was made out to be, but they are the type of people to hold onto things for a long time, especially his mum. I’m always nice to them when i’m here, i help make food, i look after her other kids when she needs to go somewhere, i never speak out of turn, i use my manners, i comfort her when things happen to her, i cleaned a bathroom top to bottom for her and gave myself a huge flare up because she needed help, it’s not like I’m horrible to her but it always feels like she doesn’t trust me and doesn’t like me. I love my boyfriend so so much and i know he loves me, but the last few days i’ve felt horrible for thinking that i should leave him because i cant deal with his mum thinking that i’m pretending and i have a seizure’ when something is about him, especially when she knows what my family is like with this. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore, i have therapy in a few days and i’ll 100% talk about this so i know what i can do about it, i just wanted to rant about it and see if anyone understood it

CW (talk of symptoms)
Very sorry in advance for the long post!

Me and my boyfriend have a long history, we had an incident happen when we were 12 and my mum made a whole thing out of it and his mum hated me and my mum, at the time it was valid. Fast forward 5/6 years and we get together again, it’s going good we’ve been together about a year and half now we are both very very happy. His mum is aware i have medical issues, i’ve been type one diabetic for 15 years of my life, i have hEDS and have since i was 9, I’ve had tics since i was 12/13 and i’m now being investigated for FND, we have spoken about my issues many many times and my boyfriend is a big part of my support system and she’s also aware of this.

The thing that kicked this off was i had a seizure in front of his mum and nan and then couldn’t walk, i had been at his for a week while he was away on a job and i was looking after his dog and helping out, it was a good week, i had a bit of trouble with my blood sugars and had 2 seizures that week, she did not know this, i live with my grandma and she doesn’t believe it’s real and i have a hard time telling people things especially if it’s something that could disrupt their lives, at the time he’d been back for a week and i went with him to college with his mum, and had a few tics throughout the day but was mainly okay, we then watched him and his friend kart and was standing for 30+ minutes so i was in pain, i knew id have a seizure that day i was praying it wasn’t in the car, or while we were out. So we go home and his nan is there and we’re all talking and I’m like huh i don’t feel great and my legs feel funny, i then pass out and have a seizure, in front of his family, its quite a big one and my seizures tend to look like epileptic seizures (they are not i have been tested for epilepsy) i come out of my seizure and my boyfriend is looking over at me and smiles when i open my eyes, i smile back and say a happy ‘yeah!’ when he asked if i was okay, i thought this was all fine, he helped me up the stairs and the next day i go home.

I come back a few days ago and he’s in the kitchen with me while his mum is picking his little sister up and just goes ‘my mum and nan think yours holding me back, because you have seizures and stuff’ i was shocked, like completely utterly shocked. He goes on to say that’s what his nan said at first and his mum agreed and when they were in the car going to the tip she said ‘well they aren’t epileptic she wasn’t groggy coming out and there’s a pattern’ my boyfriend was very confused and told her that they aren’t epileptic and how is there a pattern? She then goes ‘well the day was about you and well you know’ I tried so hard to not break down completely, this woman knows they aren’t epileptic, she knows i struggle with my family believing me and that i feel so alone, and she knows that i love her son more than anything and if i was in the way of him i wouldn’t hesitate to do what’s best for him. She told him she was worried that when we go away this month to see a race that he won’t enjoy himself and will just be worrying about me and my medical issues. To say i was shocked is an understatement honestly, my boyfriend was not impressed when she said this and ended the conversation quickly. I am glad he told me but i am incredibly upset and i honestly don’t know what to do.

We both finish college in June and he’s hopefully moving out after but he might not be able to. He’s so understanding with everything and i told him i was upset and he said that he doesn’t care what they think, it’s our relationship and he knew what he was getting into when he asked me out again. He said i should just talk to her but she’s a very very confrontational person and I’m really not, she’s also incredibly opinionated and there’s already so many things we don’t agree on, I’m debating not coming over again for a while until i know how to handle the situation but i know that means i wont see him. He is able to come over to mine but not ver often because his mum kicks off if she needs to look after his dog for a day or two, so me coming over to his is just easier.

I’ve always felt some sort of uncomfortable around his family and i never knew if it was because of my issues or if it was because of what happened when we were 12, i always put it down to my issues because why would they have an issue with me now I’m an adult and it very clearly wasn’t what it was made out to be, but they are the type of people to hold onto things for a long time, especially his mum. I’m always nice to them when i’m here, i help make food, i look after her other kids when she needs to go somewhere, i never speak out of turn, i use my manners, i comfort her when things happen to her, i cleaned a bathroom top to bottom for her and gave myself a huge flare up because she needed help, it’s not like I’m horrible to her but it always feels like she doesn’t trust me and doesn’t like me. I love my boyfriend so so much and i know he loves me, but the last few days i’ve felt horrible for thinking that i should leave him because i cant deal with his mum thinking that i’m pretending and i have a seizure’ when something is about him, especially when she knows what my family is like with this. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore, i have therapy in a few days and i’ll 100% talk about this so i know what i can do about it, i just wanted to rant about it and see if anyone understood it