u/Better_Mango1992

I realize this is a long shot, and I really don’t have the funds to dish out anyways. I have c-ptsd, and more compounded trauma within recent years. I am open to all types of healing (I dabble in Jungian psycho analysis on myself, have friends who get paid to do energy work - they don’t live here, etc) Open to guided journeys, somatic, you name it. I am doing my own inner work in addition, but could really use some help, or a friend to talk to who’s been through the dark knight of the soul, and made it to the other side ❤️‍🩹 I’m 34, don’t have my life together on paper (but have worked a series of jobs that would make you think otherwise). In a weird middle ground of outgrowing immaturity and toxic patterns. Trying to rewire my nervous system after regressing deeply due to recent events. Maybe this is too honest, hoping it’ll attract the right people. I just want real conversations. I’ve done the work, but there’s always more to do, and I’m stuck between a rock and hard place right now.

Edit: I truly appreciate all of the responses, and will get back - thought it might be slow. I completely shut down today, and have been for awhile. I didn’t expect this level of responsiveness, especially from a post written in such a way that I think proves my cognitive decline from overwhelm. Thanks for all, will be following up on some offers and recs ❤️

Edit: I almost wish I hadn’t posted this and was stuck in my delusion. Thank you for the wake up call(s). Reading every comment. I know if I outlined everything, you’d be telling both of us to run, but in this small frame of time between getting pregnant and now.. it speaks volumes to the kind of person I am under pressure, and what can be expected. He was asking for bj’s when I was going through it. I had to get that off my chest. A lot has been justified with my own actions, but I’ll never understand people who cross boundaries that way.

For context, we’ve been together a year. He has health issues (ibs and asthma). In that time it turned into a dynamic of me doing everything for him. He wouldn’t even take his trash out after I’d clean his whole place. I’d stay for days when I have my own life and he’d beg.

He got the stomach flu or noro virus or something. I don’t want to catch it, but he insists I stay and take care of him. I have to call his mom because he won’t listen to anything he’s supposed to do, and he wants her advice.

I live close and promise I’ll be back. He begs me to stay even though he’s better now. I’m exhausted. It isn’t because it’s this one time, but I realize now I have overextended myself time and time again.

I recently had a termination I didn’t want after him and his family begged me. I’m grieving that and just want time alone. He thinks I’m mean for wanting to leave when he’s still sick. To be clear he not throwing up or any of that anymore, and no fever.

He previously wanted to live together, but now wants to do his own thing while he’s in grad school, but still stay at my place. He’ll be living with family. I will struggle with bills. I don’t see why it should fall on me to keep bending backwards, but I also feel guilty if this is the person I want to end up with.

I’ll also add that he’s been extremely coddled in his life. Like never had to pay a bill etc. he’s 25 I’m 34. I’ve only taken care of myself my entire life.

Reddit, AITA for wanting to go home?

TLDR: bf doesn’t want me to go home after he’s been sick

Edit: I know I sound like the victim here, but I realize the age difference (neither of us planned this). He’s more mature than me in most other ways. We are best friends and have been together through our worst (that doesn’t sound healthy given the short time). I’m probably just emotional in writing this from the aftermath. That was a month ago and I was pressured deeply, but I still take responsibility. I also have no backbone, and do fall into the caretaker type. It’s in my nature, but also exhausts me when it’s not reciprocated. A lot of my resistant in wanting to help is resentments for asking for the bare minimum (trash taken out after cleaning his place time and time again), and getting nothing.

Edit: I appreciate all the comments, even the ones I didn’t necessarily want to hear. Reddit is acting up, and so