u/Better_Watercress374

I thought my feelings were safe. She initiated the sex every time, and clung onto me for the whole night, sleeping naked in my arms, asking for future plans.

I have this feeling that if I have been inside someone multiple times and held them naked in my arms while they sleep, that it means something.

But I got ghosted for a week. So I sent a "My needs are not being met" text and now we are communicating again. It's not the first time she's vanished, promised me she likes me and won't vanish again, but vanishes again. Apparently it was "overwhelming" that I was upset after a week of no contact and "its still early" - which confuses me greatly, because as soon as she sees me in person I am the best thing since sliced bread and she is literally all over me.

For the life of me I cannot figure out this situation and I am so anxious and physically tired, and hooked.

I can't pretend that my brain isn't wired to want the sex, to want the intensity she brings in person, and then crave it when she vanishes and repeat the cycle.

But I literally feel sick and am eating badly because of it.

I have been dating her for 2 months. The last 2 times we met, we had sex a few times.

The last time she clung onto me all night, asked me to make future plans. I left her place on the Sunday. I texted her when i got home.

She did not reply, so I followed up the next day. No reply, so I followed up Wednesday saying I need more communication, and asked if all was okay

She said she wouldn't leave without telling me and that she had been very busy. I replied back saying I hear her, and proposed plans for the date she asked me to arrange. Now its Sunday, and I have messaged again saying I will let her get back to me in her own time, but I would appreciate being in touch.

I've been left on read.

And I cannot for the life of me understand clinging onto me all night, and then barely talking to me.

I'm in absolute bits

I feel like i want to know and only want to be exclusive with sex... but I feel so vulnerable asking, because sex already makes me feel attached...

I feel really vulnerable asking, because a no would compeltely kill the vibe and also be a bit of a sucker punch.

Really confused. This person actively initiated sex with me while speaking about the future.

Afterwards, we texted and made plans. Their last message was about having sex with me

3 days go by, and I hear nothing. I follow up, and get a short reply. I get left on read the next time.

It's like suddenly, with no discernable reason the communication has dropped off a cliff. All I need is a tiny tiny check in message

I feel totally and utterly abandoned. Are our plans still on?

Should I walk away? - Then I will regret walking away

Should I keep waiting and waiting, and waiting.

It hurts so badly.

I just yearn for her, but the gap feels too long and I don't want the spark to fade. We have planned for more sex, so I guess i should chill.

But I YEARN.

I had done a bit of anatomy research, so I simply licked on her clitoris while doing a come here motion with my finger inside of her. I am very passionate about this girl. It was all a bit of a frenzied whirlwind of passion. My heart was racing at a million miles per hour, and I went down on her with a sort of enthusaism that meant I had to remember to breathe.

It went a lot better than anticipated given it was my second time ever. She said she came, and I asked if it was the moment her pelvis felt like it was flexing and her legs contracting - and she said it was.

My worry is, given my inexperience, that I have set high expectations.

The actual intercourse was standard performance wise from me, but it felt very nice as we could kiss and hug during it

Have i set super high expectations? I absolutely cannot wait for our next session!